meanandgreen (
meanandgreen) wrote in
tushanshu_logs2014-04-11 09:06 pm
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Entry tags:
[Open]
Characters: Raphael and others
Date: Threads backdated from 3/14 through the month of April
Location: Wood Sector (primarily the dojo), and lots of sulking around the Water Sector
Situation: Raph's trying to take his mind off things after this little fiasco.
Warnings/Rating: Probably
((This post serves as two months' worth of catch-all. Feel free to use the post as a lead-in or come up with your own scenario. Or you can hit me up at
willowslament for plotting. I'm open to pretty much anything.))
It's been a bad week. A bad couple months if Raph really thought about it. And he did. Way too much. Replaying the fight with Leo, the thing with Monet over and over in his mind, his memories soaked with red-spattered fury.
It can drive a guy crazy; thinking like that. Letting it play over in your mind until it twists itself into something that makes you ache inside. Makes you feel sick. Makes your thoughts race at night and dark things flash through your dreams.
Raphael hates this. He hates fighting with Leo, with any of his brothers, but he definitely hates fighting over this same old crap more than anything.
But now Leo's taken a page out of his book and disappears completely. Leaves only traces of himself behind--food missing from the pantry, a window left ajar. His brother's turned into a ghost. Made it really freakin clear he has no interest in changing his mind.
He doesn't listen. He never listens. No one ever understands...
So Raph stays home; too afraid to venture out to his usual rooftop haunts, even to the Fire Sector, where you'd think the lure of the fight ring would be irresistible. But the possibility of running into Leo makes him too sick with bitter anger to swing it.
Without a tangible one, Mike becomes his verbal punching bag. He lashes out for no reason over the stupidest things. He breaks things... plates, the bathroom sink, the front door...
His anger at Leo has become generalized. More mad at the world than anything specific. Because it's easier than having to deal with any kind of real feelings. It just is.
Mike gets tired of it after a while, grapples to find something to distract him. He drags him to the dojo one day. He teaches kids there, and he's good with them. Of course he's good with them.
The dojo brings Raph a type of peace he wasn't expecting. A shadow of home and belonging that soothes some of the rawness inside. So he comes back. Sometimes with Mike, sometimes on his own to use the space to practice sai kata or to spar with whoever's willing.
And when he finds Korra there, he almost never wants to leave.
Date: Threads backdated from 3/14 through the month of April
Location: Wood Sector (primarily the dojo), and lots of sulking around the Water Sector
Situation: Raph's trying to take his mind off things after this little fiasco.
Warnings/Rating: Probably
((This post serves as two months' worth of catch-all. Feel free to use the post as a lead-in or come up with your own scenario. Or you can hit me up at
It's been a bad week. A bad couple months if Raph really thought about it. And he did. Way too much. Replaying the fight with Leo, the thing with Monet over and over in his mind, his memories soaked with red-spattered fury.
It can drive a guy crazy; thinking like that. Letting it play over in your mind until it twists itself into something that makes you ache inside. Makes you feel sick. Makes your thoughts race at night and dark things flash through your dreams.
Raphael hates this. He hates fighting with Leo, with any of his brothers, but he definitely hates fighting over this same old crap more than anything.
But now Leo's taken a page out of his book and disappears completely. Leaves only traces of himself behind--food missing from the pantry, a window left ajar. His brother's turned into a ghost. Made it really freakin clear he has no interest in changing his mind.
He doesn't listen. He never listens. No one ever understands...
So Raph stays home; too afraid to venture out to his usual rooftop haunts, even to the Fire Sector, where you'd think the lure of the fight ring would be irresistible. But the possibility of running into Leo makes him too sick with bitter anger to swing it.
Without a tangible one, Mike becomes his verbal punching bag. He lashes out for no reason over the stupidest things. He breaks things... plates, the bathroom sink, the front door...
His anger at Leo has become generalized. More mad at the world than anything specific. Because it's easier than having to deal with any kind of real feelings. It just is.
Mike gets tired of it after a while, grapples to find something to distract him. He drags him to the dojo one day. He teaches kids there, and he's good with them. Of course he's good with them.
The dojo brings Raph a type of peace he wasn't expecting. A shadow of home and belonging that soothes some of the rawness inside. So he comes back. Sometimes with Mike, sometimes on his own to use the space to practice sai kata or to spar with whoever's willing.
And when he finds Korra there, he almost never wants to leave.
no subject
Leonardo is sick of it. He misses his brother, and this festering body of guilt standing shoulder-to-shoulder with him wherever he rests... it's not the same. Not like it would have him believe.
He hates it, but he has no other choice than to pass his brother in the darkness, because... it's not that simple. It never is. Leonardo and Raphael have a manual of their own that they both seemed to have burned to ashes a long time ago.
But when Monet contacts him a second time and gives him another mission - this one far bigger than the last - he can't turn it down. He just can't. Not after all they've been through together, and not when he manages to wrap his head around how monumental a task Monet is entrusting to him. Yet a cold feeling pits in his stomach when he realizes that he has to tell Raph. The first time he tried to slip away from his brother, a severe storm tore them apart. As foolish as he may be, he will not make that same mistake again.
Leo doesn't know how to break it to him; has no idea how to catch a ghost after salting the hallways, drawing hundreds of circles from him to his brother. So he just goes looking. He knows Raphael still, even now. They've lived together alone for a year now, give or take, and he knows where his brother goes when he needs to think. (And he's sure that they've both done a lot of thinking, lately.)
Today, Leonardo spends his time meditating in the cool sand on the bank of a canal. When sunset arrives, he pulls himself up, treks back through the Water Sector, and climbs the side of their shared suite until he reaches the rooftop. His brother's silhouette is outlined against the stirring reds and oranges of the sky; without a moment's pause, he moves forward, not bothering to soften his footsteps.
Here goes nothing.
no subject
Those last two he's tried really freakin' hard not to think about, but it's hard when it's getting shoved in your face every day. He and Leo never really needed to talk. Even in the best of times they could go about their lives just occupying the same place without ever saying a word. It's just how things were.
But with Leo out of the house so much, and him trying to stay as far away from any of his brother's usual haunts, it's hard not to remember. Their last fight's burrowed into his skin like a splinter, reminding him, over and over, every time he moves the wrong way. And every time, it stings just as sharply as before.
He didn't mean for things to be like this. He didn't mean for Leo to run off. For them to fight about it for this long. But what did he expect?
Part of him feels like Leo picked Monet over him, and it sucks. It really fucking sucks.
So when he hears his brother's approaching footsteps, he thinks it's a mistake. That Leo's just on his way, and they're gonna cross paths again like two ships in the night. He doesn't turn, just watches the setting sun splash across the sky the colors of blood and heat, marking promises of a gentler day ahead.
no subject
Or is this the highest rejection between brothers: a refusal to acknowledge his existence any further?
Leonardo doesn't know, but his feet carry him forward anyway, step by step until he comes to a halt just to Raph's right. His eyes flicker towards his brother, catching a glimpse of emerald green and sun-washed red, before darting out towards the horizon.
He opens his mouth to say something; nothing comes. So instead he stands, and exists, and hopes he is more than a ghost haunting the eye of the storm.
no subject
It's hard not to bristle at what's about to come. What, another argument? A talk? These are the things he's been trying his best to avoid. And Leo's made it easy.
His gaze travels down to the street two stories below, a vender rolling his cart full of empty bins and vegetables picked over from the day's customers. The wooden wheels grind the stone road with the gritty sound of crushing gravel.
"You gonna say something, just say it," He rumbles lowly, and his own voice tastes bitter on his tongue. Thick. This isn't a conversation he's ready to have.
Or maybe it's just long overdue.
no subject
The last time he regretted so deeply something he'd done to Raphael is when the anger of being held back had been snuffed out of him, when he'd gripped a blade blooded with history in his hands and shoved his brother to his death. In that moment years ago, it seemed impossible that they could move past it so quickly. What of now? Once again, 'sorry' isn't enough. It doesn't convey a fraction of the regret he feels for what he said to his brother. Because things are never, ever that simple.
You apologize to Raph by moving forward. Forget your grudges - move past everything you've done to him, because it lets him move past what he's done to you.
"I've been asked to help with another mission." It's possibly the dumbest thing imaginable to say to his brother after weeks of complete silence, but it's moving forward, one way or another. "It's about the Foreigner clones that were discovered a while back."
He pauses for a breath that doesn't quite fill his lungs.
"I want you to come."
no subject
Apologies are heavy, cumbersome things. Stumbling blocks. Hurdles that take too much to climb when you can just pick up and go around.
For Raph, actions always speak louder than words, and it's time to move on.
He nods once, his mouth drawn into a hard line. Says: "Okay."
Simple as that.
Leo wants him. That's really all that matters. And this time, it's a fight he cares about.
He turns again, back toward where his legs are dangling off the building's edge. The tiniest of adrenaline rush, just to keep him sharp as the afternoon wind blows out to sea. It almost feels like it's giving him the slightest push. But he won't fall. Only bobs his head toward the empty space next to him.
"Got any more info?"
Sit down. He'll hear you out. It's already a step in the right direction.
no subject
"Monet's already made a few inquiries, and all of them point to the Healer's Guild here in Keeliai. We'll be following up on those leads." He goes quiet for a moment. "There's no telling if we'll even find out anything worthwhile... but we're going in with a big group. She must think we'll find something."
no subject
When he speaks, his voice is oddly quiet, and painfully honest. "I don't trust her, Leo. You know that."
Though that's just putting it lightly. That woman makes his blood boil in a way few ever have. And knowing Leo's still talking to her after all of that, still taking missions from her... It feels like a lump of iron hardening at the bottom of his stomach. A ball of repressed anger he's held on to ever since.
Over the last few months, that lump has sat there, festering. And now it's stirring inside him again, making his insides itch.
Leo better have a good fucking explanation for all of this, because his time is quickly running out.
no subject
If it were Don and Mike here with him instead of you, they would have followed without question. They may have voiced concerns, offered counsel, but in the end, their faith in Leonardo is absolute - sometimes it seems that they think he can do no wrong, that his word is absolute, that he's perfect and impenetrable and will always choose the right path for them to follow. He knows that isn't true, of course - they've seen him fall just as many times as they've seen him rise back up again - but he always must remember that while their faith may be undying, their bodies are not.
Raph is different. Raph fights and claws and struggles every step of the way, not because he doesn't trust Leo, but because... Leonardo himself isn't sure why. He just does. It's just how it's always been. He sees every flaw in the scars criss-crossing over their bodies. He's recorded his mistakes over countless years. He keeps Leo humble, whether he needs humbling or not.
As much as he hates to admit it, he needs Raph around to question his decisions. And he trusts his brother to make up for the weaknesses in his heart. But this time, Leonardo isn't sure that it's his judgment that's skewed.
"I do." His gaze slides to his brother's, holding it steadily, but there's an earnest note in his voice that reflects the one in Raphael's. "Trust me."
Have faith in me. Just this once.
no subject
Hell, even he doesn't really know what it's about. There's something not right about that girl. About that mission she put them through. About the way she moves and talks, piercing and full of lethal precision. Dangerous, and way too much like Karai.
Raph can't hold his brother's gaze for more than a second. Not when he's talking from the heart. Not when his walls are down, exposing everything raw and vulnerable in ways he can't control.
He shakes his head. He can't trust you. Not after...
Just no. Not again. Not over something like this.
"She ain't right, Leo. And that mission, kissin' up to Evandau?" He swallows hard against the tightness in his throat. "You can hate me all you want, but I can't do that again."
And by that he doesn't mean Monet. He doesn't mean the mission. He means... other stuff. He can't see Leo fall for this again. He can't see him get hurt.
no subject
He could never. He could never, Raph. You can dig your fingers into his shoulder until it never functions right again - you can pound on him until he can't see straight and every breath tastes like metal going down. You can tell him every morning that he should have died on his own blade that day, and you can tell him every night that you don't need him. You can do all of that and anything else imaginable. But he'll never hate you.
Leo's gaze breaks away not too long after Raph's does, returning to the shoals of purple sky streaking through the horizon. His shoulders slump tiredly; he feels hundreds of years old, and still moving. Still going.
"I meant what I said. She isn't like Karai." Karai never came closer than a tanto blade against his throat. Karai didn't pull him close, hug him like he was just some broken kid who needed comfort. He grits his teeth, and there's a touch of venom in his next words. "No one is like Karai."
She was one of a kind. And if she ever touches his family again, he'll kill her. Make no mistake, Raphael - she no longer clouds his mind. If Monet were like Karai, he'd know.
no subject
Inside, he might be a fragile thing. Afraid for his brother's safety. Sick to think he could be making the same mistake again. Scared to see him hurt that way again. But on the outside, he's tougher than nails, and he will always, always have the strength to stand his ground.
"I don't care. I don't have to trust her, and I don't think you should either," he says, his brow furrowed, eyes sharp as steel, but his eyes still stay on the street. "But I'll be there. Even if it means bailin' out your sorry butt, I promise."
no subject
He wouldn't expect anything less.
Raph doesn't have to trust Monet. Leo wishes he did, but his brother's heart is a small, guarded thing, surrounded by steel walls and barbed wire; prickly, closed off even to the ones lucky enough to make it inside. But those walls are their walls, that wire their home. There is no place safer in the world.
Leo slowly climbs to his feet, stretching in the warm afterglow of the sun. It's a clear night. He half-turns in the direction from which he came, but pauses, angling his head towards his brother.
"I'm going for a run in the Metal Sector. You in?"
no subject
As Leo leads off into the sunset, Raphael follows in his brother's shadow. Always watching his back. They might not always agree on everything, but at least they can run together. Lean on one another if not as allies, as brothers. Always as brothers.