Love's Brink

[alphatar]

Characters: Mako (firethepolice), Korra (alphatar), Closed;
Date: November 16th
Location: ME-2B
Situation: The official break up after Korra's canon update.
Warnings/Rating: Legend of Korra Book 2 spoilers


[After Korra had witnessed all that happened, or was to happen, she knew that there was going to be a lot she needed to focus on. Training, spiritual and physical, and a lot of reflection.

That was yesterday. Now she knows that all of that can't happen because of one thing: Her relationship with Mako.

It is the only part of her future that's here on Tu Vishan, something she can do now. Doing it yesterday would have been impossible. She needed that time to just let her mind digest what she saw at the palace.

Giving a sigh, she goes to grab her jacket. Putting it off until she next sees him wouldn't be healthy, she knew that. Just as she's about to place her hand on the door knob there's a knock and it catches her completely by surprise. A sharp reminder that life's still going on for everyone else on the turtle, while for her it feels as if time's stopped. Waiting for her to do this so her world can start spinning again. The second knock brings her back to the now and she opens the door.

Her mouth falls open and she stares at him with a sharp intake of breath. Looking him directly in the eyes, her eyebrows came together and that didn't bring any words. For some reason, she had expected that to do the trick.]

Comments

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[So, he was glad that Korra's memory had returned. Actually, he was beyond ecstatic. It felt like, for just a brief moment that their relationship could actually get back on track. No more games, no more fighting, no more lost memories.

When he saw her, he looked happy, and he felt it.]

Hey, I wanted to check on you.

[and that was when he leaned in to kiss her, not thinking anything of it. There couldn't possibly be anything wrong, not right then at least. But it's a gentle kiss, even if he is overly happy to see her.]

[alphatar]

[Happy. Mako was rarely that happy and it caught her off guard. Not only would that make it harder, but it-

Her eyes popped open when she finally realizes that he just went down to kiss her while her mouth was still open, still waiting for her to come up with words. Stock still and completely motionless, she tilted her head and continued staring at him after they he kissed her. Her brow furrowed because she knew he had no idea what's going on and what just happened.]

Mako, I-

[Two words. Getting there slowly, but surely.]

I went to see the Emperor yesterday.

[Everything's off. Her voice, her cadence, and even her posture.]

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[he's noticing, and his posture shifts accordingly. His eyebrows furrow and he frowns, wondering what visiting the emperor had to do with, well, anything. Maybe she had an explanation for why her memory vanished? That was certainly something Mako would be interested in knowing.

But something in the way Korra was looking at him told him it was something much worse than that.]

What happened...?

[he didn't want to see her hurt like that, but there was something very, very wrong with this. Korra wasn't the type to act motionless, to not respond at all-- not to anyone, and definitely not to him. There was something missing.

Something different. Again.]

[alphatar]

[Her shoulders drooped when he looks at her like that. This is nothing like what she saw in her future, and it made things so much harder. The only person on the entire turtle who knew was her.]

I saw my future. [Now that she knew what was to be, what their path together would lead to. If not now, then later- that knowledge forced her to keep talking.]

A lot happens, and I need to concentrate on my duties as the Avatar. Even meditation.

[Beat.]

But I can't yet.

[Earlier she was ready to think of what she would say to him on her walk to his suite. Even if Naga wasn't with Julie, Korra would have walked. But now, now it's all right on the spur of the moment.]

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So... what happens? What are you saying?

[he asks, even though he knows. He knows what's coming because of the tone in her voice. But he doesn't want to acknowledge it. He'd rather play dumb than entertain the thought that maybe... It was over.

Over without him even knowing what had happened, beyond it being serious. It was a pretty selfish moment, but he wasn't sure what he should say or do. But-- maybe it's obvious by how he doesn't move closer to her.

How he seems as frozen as she was.]

[alphatar]

[Thinking about the answer to that first question makes her almost understand Bumi's outlandish stories. Everything that happens is so far beyond what she ever would have guessed. A joyless smile flashes on her face and fades just as quickly. Chased away by the fact that Mako hadn't moved either.]

I'm saying that I- that we,

[It feels so unfair to her that she can't just expect him to understand what she's about to say.]

we can't be together.

[Her voice trembles. Since she didn't experience it herself, just watch it; Korra had none of the time or emotional temperament to handle it nearly as well. An explanation is something he deserved, but there is just so much behind it that she doesn't even know where to start.]

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[the words were like ice spreading in his heart. He knew they were coming, but knowing didn't make them hurt less. He had no clue what brought this on-- and the look he gives betrays some of his confusion. If she had only images, he had even less.

Not even a memory, or a flash of a hint.

And that made figuring out what to say next harder. All the joy of seeing her was gone and in its place-- emptiness.]

So... it's over.

[he's quiet for a moment, still struggling with words.]

... Korra, I--...

[he trails off, not even sure how to continue his train of thought. His head was a jumbled mess all of the sudden.

So much for keeping his cool.]

[alphatar]

["It's over."

That was exactly what she had said in the future. If only she didn't go-

No, it's something she had to do. Hearing others speak of their futures and how they lost loved ones, she sometimes wondered if the same would happen to her.

There was a stinging in her eyes and the only way it's going to stop is if she stops fighting it.]

I'm so sorry Mako. [It was less than a week ago that she regained her memories, which included the reminder to see her future. She didn't expect that it would affect her life her on the turtle.

With him.

Her lips twitched and her voice cracked as tears welled up in her eyes.]

I'm sorry.

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[and that was it. He was still for awhile longer, before he reached out to take her hand. He knew that it was over but there was part of him that felt that this wasn't right.

But he wasn't going to argue with her over this.

That wasn't how he wanted it to end, if it did have to end. So, taking her hand, some form of connection... It was what he felt like he should do right at this moment.]

... I trust you. I-- don't think you'd do this if it weren't important somehow.

[each word is careful, and pregnant with the hurt that he was trying to not show so easily on his face. But there wasn't a good way to hide it, was there? Maybe if he tried harder]

But...

1/2

[alphatar]

[When he took her hand, she wanted to squeeze and let him know just how hard this is for her. But she can't, Korra knew that would only make things worse. Mako's words bit at her and she knows he didn't mean for them to. She shakes her head when she hears him reaching for something, anything with that last word.

And she gives him all that she can just then. Letting go of his hand, she places it onto his cheek and reaches up to kiss him. It's the last one they're going to have, she knows it, and prolongs it for as long as she can. Lips trembling against his, she tries to let him know this way instead of just holding hands.]

2/2

[alphatar]

[When she can't hold it together a second longer, Korra slides her forehead down until it rests on the bridge of his nose and the first tear of many fell down her cheek. All she could do was try to steady her breathing and hold herself there.]

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[This felt natural to him, even if the entire situation was very, very unnatural. He was still stuck on five minutes ago, and he didn't want that kiss to end. But it was over, and then there was just the two of them.

He could feel the weight of her, her warmth, and her breath, even as it was barely steady.

He went numb. He knew it. This wasn't what he wanted but--

He kissed her forehead. It wasn't a far move for him.]

Korra. I still love you.

[he didn't want her to not know-- even as he stepped back, to create that distance between them.]

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[Her eyes slam shut as soon as she feels his lips on her head. A part of her is screaming out to reach back up and kiss him, madly throw every ounce of passion at him. A therapeutic release of all the ache that had built up in her heart and is now trying to spread across her body.

Those words were ones she could answer honestly, and she would again when they go back home.]

I love you too.

[Her fingers twitched when he steps back, wanting to reach out and pull him back.]

We- it's something we can't work on. [A small sniff and she brought her gaze up from the floor to Mako's eyes.]

...you'll see what I mean. One day.

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[he wasn't even sure how he could. He didn't want to know, even though he knew he'd have to one day. Maybe knowing would help him understand. But-- it was over. That was it. At this point, him being there was just hurting her, and hurting him. And yet he didn't want to leave.

But he didn't reach for her. He didn't try to comfort her as the tears were falling from her face. He should leave, now, before this went any worse than it already was. And though it hurt, he... tried, an attempt was made, to smile.

It's weak.]

I believe you, Avatar Korra. And you know, if you ever need back up... I'm here.

[a pause. No, that wasn't all he wanted to say. But how did he pick the right thing?]

... And even if it's over for us-- I'm not gonna give up on you.

[he wanted to double check if she understood but, the feeling that he needed to leave. In fact-- maybe that should be his cue to turn and walk away, even if it didn't fit the words at all.

The smile, not sincere. But the words were.

He felt so numb.]

[alphatar]

[Holding herself up and not breaking down is a harder task than any of the ones she's faced so far, but she manages. Words she knew to be true gave her crumbling heart no comfort and when she saw his smile, it felt wrong. As if it's someone else's, borrowed.

There is nothing she can say. Opening her mouth wouldn't result in words, just the cries and screams that were welled up in her throat.

Once the door closes and she's alone, Korra falls back onto the floor with a choked yell that sounds nothing like herself. She hugs her legs to her chest and unabashedly cries. No one's there to hear her, not even Naga.]