tushanshu_logs | Thanks to You...

Entry tags:

Thanks to You...

Characters: Valdis and noted in starters. PM if you have a request.
Date: May '2016'
Location: Tu Vishan
Situation: Various
Warnings/Rating: Noted in starters

She had spent most of the last month just trying to heal from the injuries inflicted by her own dark magic, but she felt she had spent enough time on the sidelines. Almost dying had forced her to learn a lesson that she should have learned long ago, but pride and power had blinded her to her most serious faults. She had heard that sometimes you had to be broken before you could be fixed, if that was indeed true, then it was time. She had spent the months since Dante disappeared as a stagnant shell of her former self. She needed to let go, move on, and take an active role in her new home.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

The news that Wan had returned caused Valdis to drop everything she was doing and race to the Sky Sector. There were so many thoughts racing through her mind. He had left before she had woken from the coma and she had worried all month that he would sense the pain that she had been in through their connection. Not only that, but she had missed him terribly and part of her feared that he hadn't missed her. He had been there, in the Shadow Realm with Anton and Raine and Bakura. He had seen the monster that she held inside, what if he rejected that? She shook her head, he had not rejected her yet, she didn't need to fear something that hadn't happened.

"Wan?" she asked, breathless as she entered the place where he had Zuko had been living for the past few months.

Wan had returned not long before. The gardens were an easy landmark to find and one he assumed Zuko would be go to at some point. Wan could have stopped to use a computer, but that wouldn't have guaranteed Zuko would see it. And from what he understood, most of the houses were near completion as it was. He'd been puttering about, mostly just getting to know the lay of the land, when he felt Valdis' approach. Not from very far out, but it was still shocking to realize he could feel her a few seconds before she came into view and called his name.

It was for this reason that he stood there staring at her in shock for a long moment.

But his face split into a smile soon enough and he hurried over to draw her into a hug, "Valdis. You're okay. I was going to go to the hospital next."

Her sources were right, he was back, but his shock at seeing her was confusing and she made no move toward him until he smiled. Her fears were alleviated when he drew her into a hug and she hugged him back, finally releasing the tension she had been holding.

"It's been a process," she replied, "But, yes, I'm okay now. Thanks to you and the others." She took a deep breath, filling her nose with his scent, a comfort she had sorely missed. "And thank you for saving Gene."

At that reminder, Wan pulled away just far enough that he could put a hand to her cheek and rest his forehead against hers, "I'm sorry I couldn't help you then. I thought I could, but I was overconfident. I'm so sorry. I wanted to but Gene was dying and..."

He shook his head, then lifted it to look her in the eyes, "I'm sorry I had to choose him over you."

Wan owed her no apology, he had done nothing wrong.

"Don't apologize," she said softly, meeting his gaze, "From what I know and heard, there was nothing more you could have done for me at the time and had you wasted time trying, Gene might have died."

If Gene had died, everything might have been worse.

He broke the eye contact and pulled her close again so he could put his head against her shoulder and just hold her close.

"I know that. I do. But I can't help feeling that I let you down. I promised you to use our connection to bring you back if you ever got like that and I couldn't. I- I'm sorry. I'm glad you have the sword to center you. I shouldn't have rejected it."

Even if he didn't like it, he saw now what a mistake it had been to do so.

"And I'm sorry I wasn't here when you woke up, too. I needed some time."

"Wan," she said softly, wanting to look him in the eyes but sensing his need to just hold her, "I don't remember attacking Gene, because I wasn't in control at the time he was attacked. But Vergil told me that when he found me, I was in control enough to shift. If that is true, then whatever you did worked."

She hesitated for a moment, "I may not remember attacking Gene, but I do remember what happened within the Shadow Realm and anyone would need time after that."

His arms shifted so they were settled around her waist. She could pull away easier if she wanted to. He wasn't trying to impede any retreat she might attempt. But he did want to hold her, to have her there, to know she was safe.

Wan remained quiet for a few moments before saying softly, "Do you remember the name it called you?"

Now Valdis stepped back slightly to look him in the eyes, confusion on her features. "I don't."

There were many things that had happened that she wished she could forget, but the Void calling her by another name was not one of them.

"You were white. Your hound form was all white and you were laying there under the heads of that strange beast... Separate from the Void, but joined to it, too."

He turned his head to meet her eyes, "The beast, it called you 'Meira'."

The gem on her sword's hilt flashed brightly when Wan said the name, but its reaction was lost on her due to her own confusion. She knew that she and the Void were not one and the same, it seemed that the Void was almost parasitic in nature, but that didn't explain the change in color or the name that Wan uttered.

"Meira?" She repeated, shaking her head, "That is..."

The Archangel had once said something to her about someone named Meira, but it made no sense then and it made less sense now.

"The Void said many things," she replied, "You can't believe what it tells you." But she sounded uncertain despite her best efforts to be confident.

Wan watched her face carefully, tried to focus on what she might be feeling. He could feel her approach, but her emotions were still foreign to him. A connection they had that he might just try to strengthen later if he was able. For the moment, he had only her words and the way she reacted.

He shook his head, "This wasn't the beast spinning a lie. Well, it was said in the same sentence as a lie it tried to give me, but the name wasn't the lie. It told me that Meria, that you, couldn't hear anything I said. That the Void and you shared the same body, but were not the same person. And that I should speak to it, not you. Not Meria. The name wasn't a lie."

If she chose to believe him, and to believe the Archangel, then everything fell apart. If Wan focused enough, he might be able to feel the small amount of fear that had risen inside her, the fear connected to, not the name, but what the separation between Valdis and Meira meant.

"I have to go back," she whispered, mostly to herself but loudly enough for Wan to hear. "If the Void wasn't lying, then the Archdemon wasn't lying." And combined with what Michael the Archangel had told her, Malachi was in danger.

"Go back? Go back where?" He asked even as he felt a bit of fear creep into him. He didn't know if it was hers or his and it didn't really matter. Wan was concerned for her. Just what did she mean by that?

"My world."

She didn't want to go back, but she had left Malachi alone with Amos. She hadn't thought much of it until now, but now, with what Wan had told her. She had promised to protect the boy and she had failed.

"But you said you don't want to go back," he protested immediately. "Because you'll forget all that you've been through here. And I know that I have to go back eventually, but why does learning that name mean you have to?"

"I don't," she took a deep breath, trying to settle the fear, "but the demons claim to have created my kind," she replied, "And the Archangel once said that I was responsible for the death of someone named Meira. But..." She shook her head and laughed, but the laugh was more nervous than joyful, "This is all ridiculous. White pelts, angels, demons..." Except it wasn't, it made sense and that was terrifying.

She was responsible for the death of Meira. But she was Meira. Her soul was...

"It's not," he answered, keeping his voice calm despite the confusion. "It's not ridiculous. And you don't have to go back just yet. You have time to figure it out. When you're sent back, you and your soul will be returned to the point you were taken from. You don't have to go back yet. You have time. Here. You can use it."

"I was fighting an archdemon," she recalled, "Fighting him to protect the son of the Archangel who restored my soul, whom the Void calls Meira."

It couldn't be true, because if it was..."Wan...that boy that I was supposed to be protecting, I've completely abandoned him. How can I stay here when I know that he might be in danger?"

"Because time in your world, in all our worlds, doesn't move forward from the time we were taken from," he said, brushing a hand through her hair in an effort to comfort her. "I've gone back and come back. He might be in danger, but time here won't count against you in your world. I'm not saying you shouldn't go back. But you don't have to worry about doing it before you're ready. You've been given that gift by being pulled here."

Not that Wan was sure how to get back anyway, but he figured Milyn at least might know a way.

"I still have a lot of work to do in my world. And I know that it's important to finish. But I have been there and I have seen that when we are brought here, time in our world does not pass for us. We are returned to the same point we left and our memories of this world are gone. You won't get to remember us when you go back. But you will be able to ready your own heart before you choose to do that. So please, don't let yourself worry so much. Allow yourself the time you have here to steady your heart."

Time standing still on her world wasn't the most comforting idea, but the lack of immediate danger to Malachi did defuse some of her stress.

"I just..." She shook her head, trying to allow herself to be comforted by the fact that he as back. She seemed to lack a purpose in Keeliai, but she could not count on Wan to find one for her. "You're right, I know you are... and I don't want to forget."

The shock of Wan's reveal about Meira was wearing off, but now other concerns were rising to take its place. "You didn't feel any pain, did you?"

The question seemed out of no where and at first he was confused. He hadn't been injured by anything. Unless she meant the pain of not being able to help her, the ache of failure that had gnawed away at him. That had, indeed, hurt him. But he wasn't sure that was the case.

So he just shook his head, his confusion leaking out of him and telling her more than his words did, "No. None. I've been fine."

That was a relief. "Good," she replied, "I was concerned that you might have felt something through the connection between our souls."

The recovery hadn't been easy. She assumed that part of the difficulty had been in her inability to let things go, since it wasn't until after her talk with Bakura that the pain had started to fade.

That got an eyebrow raise, "I can feel things through our connection. But not at a long distance. I felt you when you were close to me, just before you called my name. Kind of like... well, it's not as strong as what I feel with Aang. Or what I felt with Korra when she was here. I could tell exactly where both of them were, what direction and how far away at least, when they were both here. With you, it's kind of a... an echo? I guess. Of that kind of feeling. Much weaker and I lose it quickly when we aren't near to each other."

He feel into silence for a moment before meeting her eyes, "But if you ever need to share your pain with someone to help you get through it, you can always call me near and I'll take some of the burden from you. Even if our connection is weaker on my end, I will do all I can to ease whatever you're going through."

He had no idea how much of a relief it was to hear that. And now she was glad that he hadn't been there, even if all he felt was a echo.

"It's better now," she replied. It was the truth, but even if it hadn't been, she would have said the same thing. There was no way she was sharing anything like that with Wan. "I was just afraid that part of the reason that you were gone so long was that you were trying to get away..." she didn't add the last part, 'from me'.

Thanks to You...

Wan | Sky Sector Gardens | CW: Feels

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)