Joel barely hears Ellie's footfalls retreat from the room. He remains seated like he is, head in his hands, staring numbly at the floor. It feels like ages that he just sits there like that. Maybe it's only a couple of minutes. Maybe it's a lot longer than that.
Eventually, he lifts his head, drops his hands to dangle between his knees, eyes cutting over to the console. Slowly, very slowly, he rises from the chair and almost starts to make his way over to the console - but stops before he makes it not more than a step away from the chair. There's a strong pull in him to go over to the console, find that video, watch it again but--
No. No, he can't handle this. This is too… This is too fucking much. This has gotta be some kind of… some kind of cruel fucking joke. Some kind of disgusting, cruel prank. He squashes down hard, as hard as he can, on the sudden desperate rush of wanting, needing to see for himself that Sarah is alive. To find her, look at her, hold her. Hell no. No. Doesn't matter how much Ellie insists this is real, that Sarah is alive, there's no way he's going to risk going through having hope crushed.
He lifts his hand and rubs it over his mouth, over his beard, throws a glance towards where Ellie is on the couch. And then, he's heading for the living room, and he stops in the doorway, his eyes hard.
He opens his mouth. And suddenly, he's horrified to feel a lump forming in the back of his throat. He snaps his mouth shut again, jaw clenched tight.
"We're leavin'." He moves into the room, heading straight for his backpack. "We're gonna get outta here, find our way back to Tommy's settlement, just like I shoulda done ages ago."
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Eventually, he lifts his head, drops his hands to dangle between his knees, eyes cutting over to the console. Slowly, very slowly, he rises from the chair and almost starts to make his way over to the console - but stops before he makes it not more than a step away from the chair. There's a strong pull in him to go over to the console, find that video, watch it again but--
No. No, he can't handle this. This is too… This is too fucking much. This has gotta be some kind of… some kind of cruel fucking joke. Some kind of disgusting, cruel prank. He squashes down hard, as hard as he can, on the sudden desperate rush of wanting, needing to see for himself that Sarah is alive. To find her, look at her, hold her. Hell no. No. Doesn't matter how much Ellie insists this is real, that Sarah is alive, there's no way he's going to risk going through having hope crushed.
He lifts his hand and rubs it over his mouth, over his beard, throws a glance towards where Ellie is on the couch. And then, he's heading for the living room, and he stops in the doorway, his eyes hard.
He opens his mouth. And suddenly, he's horrified to feel a lump forming in the back of his throat. He snaps his mouth shut again, jaw clenched tight.
"We're leavin'." He moves into the room, heading straight for his backpack. "We're gonna get outta here, find our way back to Tommy's settlement, just like I shoulda done ages ago."