It didn't, [Gene says savagely.] You wouldn't have forgiven me. You wouldn't have had a reason to. Look me in the eye and tell me you'd have done anything but toss me in prison. No. I'd gone too far. You'd understand, if you'd ever messed up that badly. You'd understand that I had no way out.

[Not even twenty and he's already screwed his life up beyond repair. Much to his horror he can feel tears starting to form in his eyes, and blinks them back.]

I did this to myself, [he declares. He's not blaming it on anyone else, like he might have done earlier, before he'd had the time or inclination to think on his sins.] I'm not content with ruining my own life, am I? No, I have to go and ruin everyone else's.