Oh my god. Yeah. Okay. This was going nowhere good in a hurry, and Pepper needed to be really careful of what she said and how she said it.
"That's not--" Pepper stopped and took a deep breath. There was anger in her tone now, but it was contained. "Okay, first: I'm just trying to explain how I feel and what I'm thinking and where my brain is going so that you can hopefully understand why I'm upset, because both of us are very obviously not mind readers. I'm really not trying to accuse you of anything, just tell you where I'm coming at this from. You're right - we're not in my world, but we're not in yours, either, so I'm trying to meet you where you're at but being in a relationship is a two-way street. So while sleeping with Eisso may not look like it has anything to do with me from your perspective, it does from mine and all I'm trying to do is say that and figure out how to meet somewhere in the middle."
Because she didn't want to lose him, not over this. They had to be able to find a way through it. Right?
She wrapped her arms around herself, somewhere between vulnerable and defensive. This next part was going to be more challenging for her to articulate. "Second: no, that's not what I want. I don't want to be a swap out for Eisso and I don't want to trade sleeping with you for just being with you." Her cheeks were starting to turn pink, and she glanced away. "I'm not-- experienced, Bakura, I haven't ever slept with anyone so I'm not good at talking about this, and honestly I think part of it is because I do maybe want to go in that direction with you and-- and have it be both. Not trade a relationship for sex, but both." God, those were actually words coming out of her mouth and she was so, so very glad they were in private and it was late and her dad was on the other side of the city. She actually looked a little shocked that she'd managed to say it at all. "But if that's not something you think is gonna work, then-- then I will do my best to stop letting Eisso being here bother me. I can't promise it'll happen overnight or that it'll be easy for me, but I will try. At least if I know you're still hiring her I can wrap my head around it."
no subject
"That's not--" Pepper stopped and took a deep breath. There was anger in her tone now, but it was contained. "Okay, first: I'm just trying to explain how I feel and what I'm thinking and where my brain is going so that you can hopefully understand why I'm upset, because both of us are very obviously not mind readers. I'm really not trying to accuse you of anything, just tell you where I'm coming at this from. You're right - we're not in my world, but we're not in yours, either, so I'm trying to meet you where you're at but being in a relationship is a two-way street. So while sleeping with Eisso may not look like it has anything to do with me from your perspective, it does from mine and all I'm trying to do is say that and figure out how to meet somewhere in the middle."
Because she didn't want to lose him, not over this. They had to be able to find a way through it. Right?
She wrapped her arms around herself, somewhere between vulnerable and defensive. This next part was going to be more challenging for her to articulate. "Second: no, that's not what I want. I don't want to be a swap out for Eisso and I don't want to trade sleeping with you for just being with you." Her cheeks were starting to turn pink, and she glanced away. "I'm not-- experienced, Bakura, I haven't ever slept with anyone so I'm not good at talking about this, and honestly I think part of it is because I do maybe want to go in that direction with you and-- and have it be both. Not trade a relationship for sex, but both." God, those were actually words coming out of her mouth and she was so, so very glad they were in private and it was late and her dad was on the other side of the city. She actually looked a little shocked that she'd managed to say it at all. "But if that's not something you think is gonna work, then-- then I will do my best to stop letting Eisso being here bother me. I can't promise it'll happen overnight or that it'll be easy for me, but I will try. At least if I know you're still hiring her I can wrap my head around it."