Hayley Stark (
everylittlegirl) wrote in
tushanshu_logs2013-12-07 01:47 pm
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Entry tags:
(no subject)
Characters: Hayley Stark & Clark Kent/Superman [CLOSED]
Date: Today, evening
Location: Hayley's suite
Situation: Hayley wants to show Superman her new Kryptoniteby attacking him in a totally innocent way and then realizes it's Clark.
Warnings/Ratings: PG for violence
Hayley took a deep breath and let it out slowly through her mouth. Just because she felt things like this were necessary and maybe even enjoyed them for that reason, that didn't mean it was ever easy. Aaron, Jeff. They really did haunt her in a way, though not the way Jeff would have led her to believe, and this was her first attempt at justice since coming to the turtle.
She curled up more tightly in the closet, the lead box hidden between her stomach and thighs by lumps of jacket gathered in her lap. The girl was strategically positioned, hiding half-beneath a rack of clothes in the back corner of the closet in her room, the best way she could think of to force the man close to her. She would only have one chance before he knew what she was doing, before he could get away and know to never return here.
She knew Jor-El might never speak to her again and that the other heroes might come after her. But Superman was a villain. Any single individual with that much power who refused to allow the weak a way to challenge them was a villain; Batman was anything but weak. Originally she had toyed with the idea of trying to kill Superman, but, as Jason had said, what difference would it really make when they just come back again? Now, she had no intention of trying to kill him, only of teaching him a lesson. That he didn't have any right to control her or the others here. That he wasn't invincible.
The girl hoped her voice would carry out the half opened closet door and the slightly cracked window. At least she had made certain that her neighbors were all gone for now, hence the timing. Now was her only chance. Hayley contorted her voice with fear and sadness and forced tears from her eyes, pulling her legs closer to her in order to almost completely surround the box. Then she called out.
"Superman!"
Date: Today, evening
Location: Hayley's suite
Situation: Hayley wants to show Superman her new Kryptonite
Warnings/Ratings: PG for violence
Hayley took a deep breath and let it out slowly through her mouth. Just because she felt things like this were necessary and maybe even enjoyed them for that reason, that didn't mean it was ever easy. Aaron, Jeff. They really did haunt her in a way, though not the way Jeff would have led her to believe, and this was her first attempt at justice since coming to the turtle.
She curled up more tightly in the closet, the lead box hidden between her stomach and thighs by lumps of jacket gathered in her lap. The girl was strategically positioned, hiding half-beneath a rack of clothes in the back corner of the closet in her room, the best way she could think of to force the man close to her. She would only have one chance before he knew what she was doing, before he could get away and know to never return here.
She knew Jor-El might never speak to her again and that the other heroes might come after her. But Superman was a villain. Any single individual with that much power who refused to allow the weak a way to challenge them was a villain; Batman was anything but weak. Originally she had toyed with the idea of trying to kill Superman, but, as Jason had said, what difference would it really make when they just come back again? Now, she had no intention of trying to kill him, only of teaching him a lesson. That he didn't have any right to control her or the others here. That he wasn't invincible.
The girl hoped her voice would carry out the half opened closet door and the slightly cracked window. At least she had made certain that her neighbors were all gone for now, hence the timing. Now was her only chance. Hayley contorted her voice with fear and sadness and forced tears from her eyes, pulling her legs closer to her in order to almost completely surround the box. Then she called out.
"Superman!"
no subject
Kal looked around the room with his eyes a translucent blue before he actually saw her and approached. He had honestly not been expecting her to call him ever again, not after the way their last conversation had ended. Not after the way every one of their conversations ended. She seemed to want to find everything Superman said wrong, out of principle, simply because he had powers. And her obsession with Kryptonite...
He guessed if she called out for him she must have really needed it, but now she was playing hide and seek?
"What's wrong?"
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She made her voice intentionally scared and broken, running a hand through her hair and playing the role of the innocent and victimized little girl perfectly. Although not entirely in character for her usual self, the threat of death so recently after her own really would make her react in nearly such a fashion. She hoped he would believe that.
"Please. I can't go through that again." Hopefully his hero complex and ego would distract him from the thought of a potential threat from her. After all, the victim is rarely the perpetrator. "You know I wouldn't have called you if it wasn't- if I wasn't.."
Trailing off, Hayley remained where she was in the closet. She didn't know the extent of his abilities, but trusted that he should be able to find her from her voice if nothing else.
no subject
"It's fine, there's no one here but you and me. I checked." He hovered closer, opening the door of the closet and crouching in front of her. "What did you hear?"
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Any sign of panic or fear is gone from her features. All that remains in her expression is anticipation. Mischief and satisfaction rest in the undertones of her voice as she whispers to him, meeting his gaze head on. "I heard you like playing god and trying to save everyone."
The smallest smile tugs at the ends of her lips. "Busted."
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He doesn't realize what's happening until it's too late. He doesn't even hear what she she's saying at first, the shock of the radiation too big and too sudden.
His knees go instantly weak, not able to suport him anymore with the added weight of the girl around him. He falls to the ground, and for a second he thinks someone - whoever it was Hayley had heard, maybe - attacked them from behind. Panic is clear in his eyes as he frantically fights against his weakening body to stay alert, to keep on thinking. If he's in danger Hayley might be as well.
(So close, so close to him and bigger than a bullet. And it had taken him less than an hour to lose consciousness back then, with Batman by his side.)
But the only people who knew about Kryptonite were those from his world and-
It hits him by the time she's finished talking, finally processing what she's saying even if his brain has a hard time registering her as a threat. Maybe he shouldn't have dismissed her anger.
"Why?" He grits out through his now dry lips as confusion replaces the fear from seconds before in his eyes.
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"Relax, I'm not going to kill you," she mutters, rolling her eyes at his fear. Then she crouches down in front of him, taking his expression in. "Don't you see? Everything can hurt us, but there's only one thing that can hurt you. And you made sure no one could have it. You wanted to feel safe. You were willing to put every other person here's life in the hands of a crazy old Bat. And he failed. He failed and two people died."
Her voice is genuinely upset by the end, edged in desperation. Because she really does want him to understand. He has to understand why this is so important or it's all in vain. "No one should be invincible, Kal-El. Not even heroes. You have to know what it feels like, to be afraid.. so you won't make the same choice next time. Everyone should feel safe. Not just you."
no subject
The dismissal of Batman stings, but for now he ignores it. Bruce can fight his own battles.
"I'm not invincible" He says, forcing himself to speak clearly through the pain. "I have been hurt, many times over. I have been close to death-" A pause. And then, through gritted teeth: "I died once, saving the world."
When he looks up at her again he doesn't really look angry. If anything, he looks disappointed. "You don't know anything about me, and yet look where we stand. Are you sure you weren't the one who wanted to feel invincible by making Supeman kneel?"
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"What? You died, thus you must be a saint and a martyr?" She replies with all the skepticism and mocking of a teenage girl. The expression dissipates with his look of disappointment, replaced instead with something longing. If only he could understand.
"I know enough." Her eyes narrow slightly as she leans in. "I'm every person who was ever hurt.. or died.. or suffered because you thought you knew better what they needed. If you won't feel the guilt, then you can feel their fear, and sense of danger, and pain."
no subject
His words are still hissed out, trying to keep his anger at bay but noticeable relieved when she pulls the Kryptonite away even only a little bit. He can still feel it, feel how the land that was once his parents is now twisting his body and killing him second by second but at least he can now think past the pain.
"I hear every heart stop beating, every last breath, every-" A pause as he catches his breath, something he isn't used to doing. But his memory and perfect recall mean he can indeed remember every last person that died because he wasn't fast enough, smart enough, powerful enough. Every person that died because he wasn't there. He remembers the time he had to decide saving the whole space station so it wouldn't crash on Earth instead of a single astronaut's life, and he remembers the look in the man's face when he realized Superman wasn't going to save him.
He remembers Jonathan dying of a heart attack while he saw a city grow in the other side of the planet. He firmly closes his eyes, not sure if the way his eyes sting is because of pain, anger or something else.
"I can see life leaving a body and the black hole it leaves behind, Hayley. A permanent reminder of my failure. Kryptonite has been used time and time again to stop me, Kryptonite has meant I was lying on the floor half-death while people died around me. And you think- what?" He forces himself to look up at her. "That the only thing I care about is that it hurts me? That I need to be invincible?
You're afraid, Hayley. There is nothing like me in your world, and I understand that. But you don't get to use people's deaths as an excuse, as an example. You don't know me, and you can't talk for the innocents whose life I mourn every day."
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When he uses her name, however, it immediately forces a disconnect, an opposite effect of the intended. Her expression turns cold again. The talking needs to stop. Because he's clever and too good at talking down anyone from anything, regardless of what's right. She can see that now. "People like you can justify anything, Kal-El. But you really can't talk me out of this."
Hayley straightens, stretching to her full height. She extends the Kryptonite roughly toward him, only slightly closer than it was before she stood.
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He's compared her to Lex in his mind, many times over but he can see now how unfair that is. Lex never had the moral compass Hayley has, he never did anything for the good of anyone but himself no matter how hard he tried to convince himself otherwise. He'd had a whole year without Superman, a whole year where he could have saved the world like he had claimed he would if he didn't have Superman to plot against many times over... and all he did was spend the year underground to learn how to use Kryptonians spaceship to do as he pleased. Lex thought of Kal in terms like the ones Hayley was using, both Lex and Hayley saw him as a potential menace...
But Hayley believes in justice, believes in what's fair. Hayley is doing this because she truly believes what she's saying, she really thinks Superman doesn't know what loss, guilt, pain and regret are. And for that only Kal-El is to blame, because he'd just told and never shown, expected her to understand where he couldn't just because others had understood. And now it's too late. When she brings the Kryptonite he hisses in pain, body twisting as he finds it harder and harder to breathe as seconds go.
"Then do what you must when I pass out. But remember that it might take time, but a murderer always gets caught."
no subject
The words cut through her thoughts with the sudden recollection of a specific memory. 'A murderer always gets caught.' Clark had said the same words to her over apple pie in her suite weeks ago and they had meant very little to her then. Now, these words can change everything.
The girl immediately drops to her knees and holds the Kryptonite at arm's length again, staring at him. She brings her face down directly in front of his, tilting it to roughly the same angle and staring. She drops the box nearby. Her free hand shakes at Superman's shoulder with a new found panic. "Why did you say that? Why would you-"
The resemblance is uncanny. She doesn't know why she never noticed before, but now it's as clear as day. Suddenly she's scrambling backwards, grabbing the lead box and shoving the Kryptonite inside. It's secure within a few minutes, but the man's already unconscious. She shakes him again, then immediately stands.
"Shit." She calls out to the empty suite. Think. First, get rid of the Kryptonite. Then, talk to Clark. Superman. Whoever he is.
A moment later, she's at her console, sending a message to Bruce Banner. She'll be back before he awakens.
A few moments later
It takes him a few moments to recall what he was doing before he passes out.
"Hayley,,,?" He asks to the nothingness as he finally forces himself to stand up on his knees, barely a whisper. He can feel the Kryptonite isn't around, or at least not outside the box. And he really is alive, which is a good sign. But the last thing she said before she passed out...
"Hayley?" He asks again, more insistently this time.
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She pauses when she hears a noise from her place in the kitchen, in the middle of pouring a coffee. Hayley gently sets the items down and listens. As soon as she hears her name again, she quickly sets the mug down, ignoring the liquid that cascades over the side and onto the counter. It takes her only a few seconds to arrive in the room and she's immediately moving forward to try to support him, to encourage him up onto the bed if that's what he wants.
The girl doesn't really expect him to accept the help given her just attacking him and all, but she wants to try. After all, she attacked Superman and this is Clark and.. it's all very confusing, to put it mildly.
"Hey. I was worried you were dead. I didn't realize how fast it would work and it's not like I could just ask." There's genuine concern in her tone.
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"I'm having a hard time believing that. Or believing you won't try again now that you kno-"
A look of panic, but it lasts a second before he steels his face again. "If you try anything with her, anything, no amount of Kryptonite will keep me from tossing you to jail."
He doesn't need to specify who 'her' is. If Hayley Knows, she will guess it. If she doesn't he isn't giving her any hints.
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She frowns deeply at his comment about Lois. Her anger is clearly visible, even as she tries to force it down. The girl would like to say he should know her better, but it's not like either of them has been entirely honest with each other. Both of them have their reasons, but neither will entirely forgive the other for them. Or so she expects.
"I have no reason to do anything to her and I did exactly what I wanted to do to you. I don't have to 'try again.'" She makes the quotes with her fingers. "The only difference between what I had planned and now? Is that you woke up in my suite instead of on the street somewhere. And that's only because I know."
Hayley practically chokes on the last words. With all the spite she has come to feel for Superman, it's hard to accept that Clark is beneath it all, that one of the people she trusts the most here has been lying to her all along. "But.. wow. If you've been lying to me about this all along, then how do I know you aren't the one who killed me? I mean, he was wearing a suit too and obviously I can't take yours or Lois's words for it anymore."
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But he knows neither of these would help in this situation, and there's a way more obvious reason anyway.
"Because your killer also attacked Lois. If you don't believe I wouldn't harm you, at least believe I would never harm her." And then, as an afterthought: "She also knows, by the way."
He lets out a sigh, managing to simply sit down but not daring to push himself any further. He hides his face in his hands, unsure how to deal with this situation. It's weird how calm he is about the whole thing- he thinks he should be furious. Maybe he will be, later. But right now he's just- confused, and curious. And he also believes her when she says she's done everything she had to do- he's alive and safe in her apartment after all, and the Kryptonite is nowhere to be seen.
"...Why?"
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Hayley takes a seat after he does, sliding back a foot to lean on the wall and pulling her knees up to her chest. She wraps her arms loosely around her legs, watching him. It's not what she expects. Even knowing it's Clark, part of her expected to die now that he has reason.
"I meant what I said before," she admits, though her tone is infinitely sadder now. "I didn't know you were you. I thought- I never saw you show remorse or feel guilty and I've never seen you save anyone here. If someone besides the Bat Man had Kryptonite, maybe the other guy and I wouldn't have died. Maybe Lois wouldn't have even been attacked. I wanted you to-"
It's so hard, trying to explain to doting Clark the venom she feels for Superman. "Superman acted like he was perfect. Like he was this paragon of virtue and a towering example of what we should all be. He expected respect and to be listened to, like he had earned it. And maybe he did- maybe you did, where you were from. But not here."
"I wanted you to know what it felt like to be powerless and afraid. So that you could maybe even begin to empathize with the rest of us about what it's like to be vulnerable. So that you would reconsider, about the Kryptonite." She pauses. "It's not here, by the way."
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"I never mean to come across that way." And he doesn't, he will never tell someone they need to act like he does. He gives his reasons, he discusses, he argues when someone says something he deeply disagrees with. But the moment he shoves his opinions down people's throats he will stop being a superhero. And he doesn't remember doing anything as Superman but offering protection to Hayley... and telling her there's only one person he trusts with Kryptonite and it's not her.
"I'm not a paragon of virtue nor I believe myself to be. I'm just an alien with Superpowers that gets made fun of because I stop to get kittens down from trees. I have saved people here, by the way, but I'm not about to make a list for you because even if I hadn't I do not need to justify myself in front of you.
There's a lot of people who didn't know me at all. People who also got killed- and let me point out that your murderer isn't Kryptonian so the green K wouldn't have done anything to stop him. My point is: you don't see the others obsessed with Kryptonite- or obsessed with attacking me, in the cases they didn't know about it. I have other weaknesses as well, weaknesses I have shared with others." Magic, electricity... the list isn't long, but it's there. He's also going to make sure Hayley never knows of his other weaknesses now.
"There's also other people with my power-set in this place, and others with no powers but a similar attitude. So I'll ask again.
Why? What did I do to make you so angry? What did I do make you do this?"
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It will take her quite some time to realize how little it's actually his fault. That although it was his powers that killed her, it wasn't him. That the pedestal she put him on, the image of him she created in her mind, the caricature of justice she saw is all of her own making.
Although it crosses her mind, she's not ready to admit that his not being there feels like a betrayal, because that would mean admitting to relying on him in the first place. She does blame herself for being stupid and weak enough to trust him, for the vulnerability that allowed her to be killed, but this isn't about her. So she tells herself. It wasn't about hurting him. It was about making him understand.
"I already told you," she mutters, not afraid of looking like a petulant teenager right now. The girl lifts her gaze to look at him. "Why did you lie to me?"
She knows what he'll say. How he has two identities to protect the people he cares about, how people that find out get hurt. How he lost someone because the wrong people found out who he is. It's the same answer she hears time and again from every so called superhero and she disagrees with it as much now as she did the first time she heard it. The supposition that they know what's best, an assumed authority or credibility with no mind to their own faults and demons and weaknesses. It's demeaning, disgusting, and unfair.
no subject
It feels weird, to be telling her this when he's still feeling the effects of the Kryptonite all over his body. He isn't sure he isn't going to puke yet he's here talking to her about his life. Ridiculous.
"My parents adopted a kid they found in the middle of the cornfields because they hadn't managed to have a kid and they were reaching old age. They raised me the best they could, they taught me to be the man I am today. Even when I started developing my powers they persevered. Eventually I left to face the world on my own, but they are still living in Smallville." Or were. Pa died of a heart attack not long ago. He's not telling her that, not now.
"They live a calm life, they struggle with money so I send them some every month. They just got a new truck.
And I would rather keep some things to myself when talking to you than allow someone, anyone, to take their life away form them because they wanted to know Superman's parents, or get to me in some way."
no subject
Hayley trails off, not entirely sure what to say. Someone paying attention might notice the undertones of what sounds like guilt in her voice, the remorse she tries to hide away. The girl is still trying to figure things out for herself, still trying to understand. She feels remorse for forever ruining her friendship with Clark, but not for attacking Superman.
"I didn't know it was you," she reiterates. She knows it will do little to make him feel better given his attitude towards violence in general. But it's important to her, like maybe it could help.
"They were your powers." The response comes as an afterthought, answering the question he posed before. "They were your powers and you didn't even feel guilty. Or- He didn't. Superman."
no subject
"You attacked me with Kryptonite and yet you're the one scolding me. Do you even realize how wrong that is? I-" He stands up, almost jumping up from his seating position. He'll regret that later when his muscles are in pain, but right now he just wants out. "I have to go.
But first: I know the Kryptonite isn't in here, but don't think for a moment I'll stop looking for it."
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"You can use my console, if you need to call someone for help getting back." She offers, knowing just how angry she is. She'll make absolutely no effort to stop him if he moves to leave, but she has nothing to say to his comment about the Kryptonite. Now, with the potential of Jor-El or even Clark himself coming after her, she has even less reason to give it up. Not that she expects it. But there are so many other reasons she hasn't been able to work out just yet.
For her own afterthought, she adds, "I won't tell anyone."
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"... Thank you. There's a lot of people that will appreciate that. And I will ask why again, I want to know the reasoning behind your actions- Nut right now I'm pretty sure nothing we say will penetrate the other's skull." And as if he hadn't heard her offer to use her network he reaches for the door- stumbling, with a hand always on the wall.
But he finally reaches it.