open!

[cowled]

Characters: Bruce Wayne and open
Date: During the mis-spell event!
Location: Lots of places in Keeliai.
Situation: Bruce Wayne is an octogenarian. This ends about as well as you can expect.
Warnings/Rating: Warning for talk of heart issues, so if this bothers or triggers you lmk and I'll avoid it in any threads we do.

Comments

[backinakidflash]

[Every noise Batman has ever made sounds irritated to Bart's ears. Why should today be any different?]

I don't know.

[Well, now he feels stupid. He tries to console himself by being an honest sort of stupid.]

It's better than sitting around doing nothing and expecting her to dig us all out of this mess. If she knew how to do that, it wouldn't have happened.

[cowled]

[Good. That was the answer he was looking for.]

Magic can be tiring, especially at her age. You could always offer to make her dinner.

[Which is not the same thing as saying 'go hit on her' because he's fairly sure she's taken in a way that makes his brain cramp if he thinks about it too long.]

[backinakidflash]

[He has a hard time believing that. Zatanna is vibrant. Vivacious. Bruce is probably concerned with her getting tired because he's tuckered out himself.

However, the suggestion doesn't get ignored. It's a good one. She's busy, and he's gonna be cooking anyway.]

I could be her Meals on Wheels, yeah. Not a bad idea. I can make the offer to anyone that's working long hours on it.

[That means you, Mr. Wayne.]

[cowled]

[This is why it's impossible to hate speedsters. For all their inanity, most of the ones that came down on the side of the angels are intrinsically good people. So while he remains scowling, it's... his slightly less judgmental edition.]

I'll live.

[Just in case you thought you were being subtle.]

[backinakidflash]

[... his face really has frozen that way. Huh. Okay, that particular idiom is possible.]

Sure you will. The human body can go for weeks without food.

[Provided said human is given water and is reasonably fit at the beginning. That one is probably a huge problem here, because Bruce looks like he could die in his sleep as early as this evening.]

I'm dropping off dinner at seven. I don't run with the early bird special crowd.

[He wouldn't know subtle if it mowed him down with a steamroller.]

[cowled]

[Sourly,]

You don't know where I live.

[Are you seriously telling Bruce the facts of the human body? Bart, honey. No.]

[backinakidflash]

[He'll tell anyone the facts of anything if it comes up. Why should Batman be immune? Besides, his exposure to Bruce's obsessive I-must-know-everything side is fairly limited and mostly seen through experience with and of Tim. In short, he has no idea it's a misstep.]

I'll send Tim.

[Send. Not 'weasel it out of', although there will be a strong attempt at that. Bart looks downright pleased at this quick retort. Ha, you thought you were escaping teenage homecooking, didn't you, old man? Not that easily. Besides, sending will be best. It won't get cold that way, and everyone can agree that cold pasta is the devil.]

[cowled]

Tim knows better than to side against me.

[Is he seriously getting into an 'I know you are but what am I' style argument with an aged-up version of Bart Allen? Yes. He is. And he's too stubborn to back down from it, to boot. Actual adult Bruce Wayne.

He coughs.]

I appreciate the -- attempt at being helpful, Bart. But I'll manage without your ['interference'] food.

[He's not about to admit that his system wouldn't be able to handle anything that Bart considers 'food', anyway. It's all prune juice and string beans from here on out, k.]

[backinakidflash]

[Suuuuure, he does. Tim has done everything you ever said. He's never been influenced by his friends or let them do something that Batman Would Not Approve.]

Uh-huh.

[He's only half-listening, but that's OK because he's disregarding everything Bruce says. Quite blatantly.]

You can't stop me on this one. I don't care what happens to it after the drop off.

[That is the most depressing existence to resign yourself too. What if they made a flatbread tomato pie, really light on the cheese and spices? Surely, that would be okay. Old people love tomato juice.

[cowled]

[He didn't say he hasn't, only that he knows better. Which, truthfully, he does.

Bruce gives Bart the veritable glare of death, and says nothing for a long time. Then,]

Fine.

[It's not a surrender, it's a tactical retreat. He has better things to do than waste time arguing over this particular conversational venue.]