tushanshu_logs

Current Mood: careful

Entry tags:

Open

Characters: Damian and Bruce Wayne, Robin (

demon_brat) and Robin (

hackingyoursensors), and also Robin (

demon_brat) and anyone!
Location: Here, there, and everywhere. Mostly rooftops, probably a lot in the Metal and Fire sections.
Situation: Meet Robin, if you wish!
Warnings/Rating: TW for child abuse. Because it's Damian.
A/N: Prose or actionspam welcome. Thread headers for Bruce and Dick, anyone else who wants to meet or talk with Robin, welcome after that!

It took Damian a couple of days after Grayson showed up to return to his, ah, usual levels of visibility. After that first conversation, he did his best to vanish out of sight, making sure not to fall into his usual patterns of anger at circumstances he did not welcome. Because neither Father nor Grayson would approve - his Grayson, this one had no reason to care - and the urge to not fail his Batman was suddenly double strong. Or, at least, more explicit.

Eventually, almost a full day later, he found his way to his Father's suite.

And the next night, and the one after that, he was cautiously back to patrol.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"About you? Not much. All I know is that your mother is Talia."

Which, realistically, isn't that hard for him to wrap his head around. Bruce and Talia did have a thing once upon a time. Maybe it just went farther in another dimension. Though he can't see Bruce and Talia settling down, not with Bruce still suiting up as Batman. Meaning the relationship is very, very complicated and Damian is caught in the middle. Kind of sad.

Damian nods, slightly - that is the question he meant Grayson to answer.

"Father - or the family he created - did not know about my existence until I was ten. And I have been trained by the League since I was three." Trained. Not raised. "I was not introduced to Mother until my eighth birthday... and my connection with her is now severed. So, no. I have not known anyone all that long."

And also, that is where his standards on weak and strong have been established. But he doesn't address that issue directly... yet.

That's... rather sad. He didn't entirely understand Talia's motives but, then again, he didn't know her particularly well. He'd been pretty early into his career as Robin when they broke it off and he's only met her since then when he and Bruce have gone up against her dad.

Damian grew up away from his parents, without even meeting his mother until what must be relatively recently (and then losing her not long after to... something) and knowing his father until even more recently. Dick may have lost his parents, but at least he'd had them for nine years. Damian had even less than that.

But if he's figured out anything about Damian so far, it's that he probably doesn't want Dick's pity. He was a lot like his father, after all.

"Knowing B, you'll have time to get to know people now. But, you know, you can miss people you haven't known very long. I've only known some of my friends for a few months and I..." It feels weird to admit this, but he's trying to prove a point "...already sort of miss them."

"I've talked with him more here than I ever did, back home." Beat. "Though part of that was by fault of my own anger." And Bruce's confusion, but Damian hasn't thought that far.

And his eyebrow arches over the mask (the mask that is more Nightwing than Robin, if he's fair, but he's not thinking about that). "I'm positive you can. You are accustomed to knowing people, to letting them close, to - to caring and being cared for. I was... taught," trained, "not to."

His eyes wander towards the Metal sector. Mother probably thought that people are expendable. Or that Father just went on after any loss, so he must not really care. Which... if not for Grayson's talks, Damian wouldn't know better.

Then again. If not for Grayson's talks, and later Brown's, he wouldn't know the difference all that much.

"And I was taught to strive for strength, not weakness. Such as sentimentality."

Again, he listens carefully. Maybe it's his so-called sentimentality at work, but he suspects that Damian might have this "weakness" more than he realizes. Maybe Damian did miss the Dick he knew and just didn't understand what missing someone felt like. He's never had the chance, and any sense of attachment or affection was evidently discouraged (maybe even punished) during his childhood.

"I never understood why people see sentimentality or kindness as weaknesses. Caring about other people instead of just wanting to conquer-- that can be pretty powerful. Maybe even more powerful."

He considers.

"But... do you understand what it feels like to be cared for now?"

Damian stares at him at the first part, then looks away, crossing his arms before his body in a gesture that's just this side of hugging himself.

"Why? Other than the facts that it's a distraction when you should be focused, a vulnerability - both to the people you care for and through them - a weight when you need to be agile and flexible, and all sorts of complications? It makes you act illogically, less than optimally. Maybe that's why."

Beat.

"The opposite doesn't have to be wanting to conquer." Crossly. Because, no, he doesn't. And it has nothing to do with caring, but what is needed... as he sees it.

The question, on the other hand? Gets silence, for a stretch.

"Maybe."

Yes. He does. Not because of his own flesh and blood, though. Because of people who shouldn't have, in the first place. And yet... they somehow did. Or faked it better than his Mother, anyway.

Dick shakes his head.

"Do you always act logically?" He says this without a hint of teasing.

"And I know the only other option isn't conquest. But it's usually the people who want to conquer who point out sentimentality as a flaw. Then again, I know a disproportionate amount of people who want to take over the world."

As for Damian's last question, his expression changes to a slight smile.

"I guess it's hard to tell, if you don't have much to compare it to. But if you're really his-- my-- partner, then it's not a stretch to say that he cares about you."

"I was supposed to conquer the world." His upper lip curls up, even if he doesn't look at the older boy. "And I try. Sometimes, somebody must." Beat. "And Batman always acts rationally, logically. Efficiently."

And, no, Damian still doesn't realize just how messed up the combination of these statements is.

But his voice does soften, at the end.

"It is not a stretch, no."

Well he wasn't expecting that.

"And the people who taught you probably instilled all of those ideas in you. Ideas that you know are wrong now. Or, at least, not always right."

Dick suppresses a sigh. "I know. He's always logical and does whatever it takes to complete a mission. No matter what." He sounds weirdly sad and defeated when he says it and not for the reasons Damian might think.

His voice softens slightly too. "At least I've been right about something today."

Damian raises a finger. "Not always right. They still made me a better fighter than almost anyone my age, with sound academic and artistic background, too. So they were not always wrong, either. If I see it anything but a vulnerability, I may change my mind."

May. That is how he thinks of it.

He frowns at the sadness, turning to look at Grayson again. "He is my father. Why would I be trying for anything less?" How can he? At least... he doesn't see what else there is for him to do.

Small head-tilt. "That was the first person he tried to teach me explicitly, you know. Don't anticipate. Adapt. Mostly in sparring, but then made it apply to everything." Damian lacks the right words. But the implication is that Dick'll get better at it.

"How would someone prove otherwise?"

He sounds genuinely curious. What would it take to prove someone who'd had the opposite ideology drilled in his head all his life to believe another ideology?

Dick looks confused at Damian's next statement, though. "Just because he's your dad doesn't mean you have to be like him."

He nods at Damian's last statement. "Pretty good words to live by. Though maybe that sounds a little boastful when I say it."

The question makes Damian think on it. Briefly. "I do not know." Not that he's aware, but if he knew how somebody could prove it to him, he'd be halfway to understanding it.

He's just... not there, yet.

He sighs. "I make me, I know, I remem--ber." Right. Wrong Grayson. "But there are few better examples, and it... it is complicated. Perhaps I do not have to be like him, but I want to. To be worthy of the name."

... and. Clamps his mouth shut. He doesn't need to say this, does he? And Robin - the other one - doesn't need to hear it.

Damian hunkers down a bit, then one corner of his lips twitches up. "Like that ever stopped you."

He (or perhaps someone else) must say that to Damian a lot. 'You make you.' Not bad advice.

"To be worthy enough to be Batman?"

Because why else would Batman have Robin if he's not meant to be a successor? Dick had assumed that that was at least partially why Bruce kept training him even after he'd gotten justice for his family.

Maybe smiling a little. "Fair point."

Just once, actually. But that was... well, Damian has a very good memory.

"Eventually." His fingers worry the edge of his cape. "Mother wanted me to be him, but better. Perfect. And take over the world. I think she didn't understand him very much, though."

Ah, Grayson. Maybe it's part of the idea, but the actuality... it'll be so much harder on everyone than you suppose.

Damian gives that a small snort. "Some things clearly do not change."

"Yeah, otherwise she wouldn't have raised you to rule the world. Pretty sure Batman frowns on that."

Maybe grins a little. "If everything changed, I'd be not me, not almost-not-me."

"Not as much as... other aspects of what she had trained me to do." Not nearly as much as the killing.

Damian pauses slightly, and then makes a face. Why does he have to be right so often? "I suppose."

Edited 2012-10-13 05:38 (UTC)

"Other aspects?" A tentative 'you don't have to answer but I'm curious' tone to his voice.

It's his job. He might also chuckle, just a little.

For some reason, Damian doesn't want to say assassin, not right now, not to somebody this young. And... he doesn't want to hide it, either - not from Grayson.

"I was raised by the League. What do they do? Father told me I was supposed to fight crime. I brought him the head of a criminal who had been about to kill some police officers. He did not approve."

If you think your encounter with this Bruce Wayne was bad? Think about that one. Just... think.

He startles. Damian might seem rough around the edges but he can't really imagine him going out and chopping off a guy's head.

"Of course he didn't!"

But once he gets over his surprise he amends his statement: "But I guess you didn't know better then. Geez, who teaches a kid to go around chopping off heads?"

Not that he's totally okay that Damian killed someone but he's a firm believer in giving people a chance to turn their lives around. If Damian's fighting the good fight now? That says a lot about his character.

And that wasn't, by far, the first time Damian's killed. Though it was just about the last.

"Mother," he spits in an answer to Grayson's question. Then, after a moment, adds, "Grandfather only wanted my body trained, he was not concerned with what I would choose to do, unlike her."

And that is a whole different can of worms.

Oh, and Todd does believe he's fighting the good fight, too. Maybe not the one here, yet, but the one back home. Where does that leave things, with the rules of the Bat?

Really, everything Damian says just compounds Dick's confusion. Okay, so his mother wanted him trained as an assassin-- someone meant to rule the world and strike down anyone who gets in his way. He understood the logic, as twisted as it was. But...

"What did Ra's want with your body?"

That sounds very, very strange. And a little creepy.

"It." Damian's teeth flash in a not-smile in the eerie light.

Then he clarifies.

"Eventually, the Lazarus Pit was not enough to keep him alive. But he wouldn't let go, and possessing other people... didn't work out that well for him. So it had to be flesh of his flesh, what he was preparing me for.

"He is currently inhabiting the body of the White Ghost, a son he considered... defective."

Did Damian look to you as younger than you, Dick? Let's say that he is a pro at creepy, his short life more than filled with the weird and the hurtful, and the nearly flippant way he explains this part of things (too angry, still, to be flippant, and the tension still leaks in his voice. Though not fear) might just provide an inkling about that.

Dick looks disgusted and shocked. The more Damian talks about his life, the more it sounds like some twisted nightmare. This? This was somehow the worst. Dick isn't and never will be a fan of Ra's but this is way beyond what he could've ever imagined Ra's would do.

"That's.... that's disgusting! I knew he was messed up but this is on a whole new level."

Damian is... a little surprised. By how strong the reaction is - back when it happened, sure, Grayson fought to protect him (or the Manor, whatever), but he didn't react anything like this.

But he just shrugs. "So aiming to be Father or Grandfather? It is not a very complicated choice."

Of course, it is more complicated than this.

To be fair, Dick is young enough that something like this is way more shocking than it probably will be when he's older and seen more of the depravity of the world. Not that he's sheltered: it's just a matter of probability and experience.

"Considering your options, yeah, it's a no-brainer."

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