tushanshu_logs | Open catch all introduction

Entry tags:

Open catch all introduction

Characters: Bertolt Hoover
Date: January 13th at first, then the second half of January for the rest
Location: He lives in the Water Sector, and is going to be mostly hiding out there unless someone drags him elsewhere. If you want him to be anywhere specific so your character can run into him, let me know!
Situation: Arrival, and then settling in. Wandering aimlessly around the city. Discovering technology.
Warnings/Rating: None presently.

The whole thing is very confusing. One moment he was sitting in a tree, listening as Reiner slipped again, forever drifting further and further away from him, and he with no idea how to get him back, no idea how to tether him back to himself. Then everything shifted, and for one horrible, confusing moment Bertolt thought he was turning into his warrior, letting the change take him, and terror spiked in his chest. That would be suicide here, the other titans would destroy him, even assuming he could transform now.

But he didn’t transform, and when the world stopped spinning and melting before his eyes, he was... somewhere else. He tried to listen as they explained things to him, but everything just sounded garbled and distorted, almost like they were speaking another language. One thing rang clear to him, though.

He is alone.

When they escort him out of the building, he balks a little at crossing the doorway. He’s a wanted criminal, a monster, a mass murderer that slaughters innocents, and going out in public, especially wearing the gear of another soldier around his hips, is like painting a target on his back.
 Except no one here cares. He gets an odd look or two, but most people just brush past him. Ignore him. Look through him like he’s not there.

And there’s comfort in that.

Still, he’s a wanted man, and Bertolt does the only thing that makes sense: he climbs. He’s hesitant to use the gas in his gear, not knowing for sure how full it is and not wanting to waste the time to check. He wonders, idly, if the soldier it used to belong to dissipated into steam when he pulled free from his warrior body, or if parts of him are still inside him. The thought makes him sick, and he needs to stop and concentrate on his breathing for a few moments.

He’s a monster. He deserves whatever happens to him.

When he reaches the roof, Bertolt settles on the edge of it, his knees tucked up under his chin and his arms wrapped around himself in a pathetic attempt at self-comfort. He watches the people moving down below, wondering if there’s anyone down there that knows him, that knows who he is, what he is. Wondering what they’d do to him if they knew what he’d done. Wondering why, when he spent most of his life trying to fade into the background, being alone and invisible now is so terrifying.

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Bertolt's eyes widen when Annie touches his arm, the places where she presses down feeling like they're going to burn through his sweater and into his skin, but then the moment is over and she's leading the way.

He stumbles a little when Reiner pushes him, but then gets himself moving, following along docilely. He doesn't protest when Reiner drops a coat on him, simply pulling it around his shoulders and trudging along.

It's a pretty lengthy walk from this sector to where they're staying in the Wood Sector, but Annie's already got a mind for the shortest route and she's aggressive about holding point and leading the way for now. She's no team player, never has been, but she's also slowed herself down to accommodate Bertolt's pace. She couldn't possibly be bothered to communicate that or indicate in any way, but it's clear to her that he's as broken down as she'd been when she first arrived. For the rest of the walk to the tree-filled Wood Sector, she'll ignore her comrades in favor of their surroundings.

Edited 2014-01-15 19:15 (UTC)

For a little while Reiner walks at Bertolt's side in silence, stealing glances at him ever so often. Part of it is giddiness, as if he continuously has to tell himself that yes, Bertolt is here, they are all here now, but part of it is worry. Bertolt looks terrible and he knows exactly why. He knows Bertolt needs food and drink and rest, but just as much he needs to know the situation here.

With a sigh, he reaches up and his palm falls over Bertolt's nape, covering it, as he leans his head close. "Sorry, I know you're exhausted. You can rest soon, okay? We just have to talk about some stuff first when we get back. About the mission and about this place. Think you can manage that?"

It's pretty pathetic how much that simple gesture relaxes him. Bertolt nods, some of the tension bleeding out of his limbs, and for just a moment, he leans his head against Reiner's. Reiner is talking about the mission, and covering the back of his neck, and that means it's the right Reiner now, his Reiner, the warrior and not the soldier, and Bertolt is protected. From whatever might come at them, he is protected.

He perks up a little when they get into the part of town with all the trees, and Bertolt looks around a bit. It's familiar here, at least, like the Forest of Giant Trees, and he wonders what else this city has in store.

"You should just tell him there is no mission and let him sleep," Annie points out when they're close because of all times to think to start talking, this is apparently exactly the right one in her mind. There wouldn't be any reason to make Bertolt stay up when they could just hole up in their current living space until such a time that he was rested enough to come to understand that literally everything in their lives had been ruined and they had failed completely.

She was dealing with that pretty well when all was said and done.

His hand tenses against Bertolt's neck, and the look he sends her is irritated. It is not that she is wrong, because she is not, not really, but he wanted to tell Bertolt in a different manner than that.

"Because he will definitely rest easy knowing that." He breathes out on a frustrated sound. "Just let me handle it."

Edited 2014-01-15 22:52 (UTC)

Bertolt's shoulder tense up again at Annie's announcement, and he looks to Reiner for confirmation. The look on his best friend's face tells him all he needs to know. They've failed. Their mission is over, because they botched it. They completed the first third, perhaps even the first half, and then everything went to hell.

And yet… he can't find it in himself to be too upset about it. Maybe he will later, when he's rested and eaten, but right now, the news just sits in the pit of his stomach like a rock. It's news he half-expected to hear anyway, ever since he and Reiner had shifted in front of everyone and gone rogue. He'd hoped Reiner would find a way to pull it back together, but it sounds like he hasn't, and that news, while terrible, is also somewhat relieving. That means there's no more pressure. They fucked it up, and they'll just have to deal with the consequences. At least there's no more uncertainty.

Bertolt looks up to the sky, watching some birds fly past. "There are no walls here."

A strange thing to say, given the circumstances, but that's something he's noticed. Wherever they are, they aren't penned in by walls.

"Something like that," Annie agrees quietly on the subject of no walls like back there, and only briefly gives Reiner a sharpish look. He could handle it all he wanted to, but Bertolt's reaction hadn't been that bad to her mind. They might as well get right to the fact that their entire existence no longer had meaning.

She gestures for them to hold back in the alleyway they'd walked down. After a moment, she walks out openly into the street. Only one of them needed to risk discovery near their current hideaway when making sure that no one was around to discover them, and she was always the best choice. Only after she feels comfortable does she cross the rest of the way to the tree-suite, unlocking the door and waiting for them to follow up behind her.

"They don't have titans here, so they don't need walls." It's an idle comment made to Bertolt as the two of them wait in the alley while Annie crosses over to their current hideaway. It's an odd thing to consider, this titan-less world. It means that everything they have ever fought for, every skill they were ever taught are suddenly, unavoidably, useless in this place.

Once Annie has safely crossed over to where they are staying, with no sign of attackers nearby, Reiner touches Bertolt's arm, pulling him along to follow. "Come on." And then, after a pause, as they are crossing the threshold. "Hey, you want something to eat? I swear, they've got so much food in this place."

Seriously, Reiner is feeling downright spoiled with how much food he has been able to eat since getting here.

Reiner might be able to dismiss their hard-earned skills so easily, but in the back of Bertolt's mind, he's already calculating. So there are no titans, and no walls. That means that what they've done is meaningless here, and they can blend in more easily. But he does remember being told there was a war on, and they do have the skills of soldiers. Soldiers, and warriors, and he wonders for a moment how the powers that be would feel about suddenly having three powerful, massive warriors on their side.

All those thoughts dissipate when he enters Annie's home, though, and he stops in the door, his mouth hanging open. It's so big. He's never seen a home with so much space in it before, and this is supposed to be for one person? Incredible.

He doesn't answer Reiner's question about food; he's spotted a couch, a huge, squashy, luxurious looking one, the kind you'd expect to see behind Wall Sina, and he starts lurching towards it, suddenly so tired he doesn't think he can stand any longer but not wanting to fall and upset his friends.

That's about when Annie is suddenly, abruptly tucked up against his side, and her hands grip his harness belts to help steady him. She's not going to say anything about it and she's absurdly tiny in comparison to him, but she didn't see any reason for him to hit the ground if Reiner wasn't able to keep him from being an idiot.

Even Reiner can't always anticipate Bertolt's stupid choices! And Annie's reactions have always been quicker than his. He's not going to make her lug around Bertolt's ridiculous weight alone though. Ducking in, he tugs one of Bertolt's arms around his neck, helping him over to the couch, and once he is seated, Reiner's quick to crouch down, helping him undo the buckles of his gear. They only have three sets of that, after all. Better treat it with care. That and it is not like Bertolt is going to be able to get any rest with the weight of it still strapped against his body.

"Hey, Annie, can you get him some water?" Food can apparently wait until a later date, but he knows Bertolt must be parched.

Bertolt had been bracing himself to hit the floor when Annie ducked in beside him, and it's half her efforts and half the shock that she'd made those efforts that keep him standing. Reiner's assistance helps too, of course, but Bertolt barely notices when Reiner moves in on his other side; he's too busy looking down at Annie in shock. He can't remember the last time she got this close to him, and her tiny, deceptively frail-looking body feels like it's burning next to his.

Once he's on the couch, he only manages to stay sitting long enough for Reiner to get the gear off before he's toppling over. The harness, ill-fitting as it is, will have to stay on for awhile longer, because grappling with all the straps is more than he can bear right now.

Bertolt makes a soft, muzzy noise when Reiner asks Annie to get him some water--he doesn't want any water, he's not thirsty--but that's all he can manage and who knows if Reiner is fluent in idiotese.

Reiner is half fluent in Bertolt's dialect of idiotese. As such, the muzzy sound has him making a no-nonsense sound in response, the sort that brooks no argument. "You're drinking that. I know you haven't drunk a thing since Utgard." Because that was how long Reiner hadn't drunk a thing when he had gotten here.

Reaching in, he pinches Bertolt's nose for just a moment. "Don't go to sleep yet. There's a couple of things you need to know first." At least this time his expression is somewhat apologetic. He knows Bertolt needs sleep. He certainly wants him to get his rest. But he also knows that being a warrior means that sometimes sleep has to wait for a while.

Meanwhile, Annie doesn't give a fuck about whatever nonsense Bertolt is trying to convince Reiner of. Or any crazy ideas anyone might have gotten from her actions. With him on the couch and not on the floor, she silently pads off to get a glass of water. By the time she comes back, she's already shed her coat somewhere along the way as well.

She doesn't exactly offer it to him so much as she comes over to the couch and holds it out in his general direction while she waits for Reiner to bully him into taking it. There's an odd expression on her face the whole while, something somewhere between curious and concerned.

Bertolt doesn't need to be bullied into taking the water glass! He weakly swats Reiner's hand off his face--he has about as much strength right now as a newborn kitten--and then takes the glass with both hands and brings it to his lips. He drains all of it in one long pull, then gasps when he lowers the glass. Whoops, forgot to breathe.

He looks at Reiner dully. Obviously he's not going to get any sleep until his friend is done talking, but that doesn't mean he'll be giving the conversation his full attention, either.

Reiner folds his arms, leaning back for a moment in thought. It is not like he wants to keep Bertolt awake for longer than necessary, and to that purpose, he mentally goes through the available information he has, trying to figure out what he needed to tell him right now and what could wait until later.

"First off, we are not the only ones here. I haven't seen him yet but Annie met Armin. He knows what we are. He said he was going to keep our secret, but obviously we cannot trust him. Normally I'd say we should kill him, but Eren is here too. He knows me and Annie are here and what we are. He took it about as well as you can expect."

For a moment he rubs his forehead. "Obviously we cannot kill Armin with Eren here. If we kill Eren, Armin will give away our secret. If we kill both of them, we'll likely fall under suspicion. I'm certain a few people must have figured out we are from the same world from our gear and all. We outnumber them now, so I don't think we have to worry about them attacking us while we sleep, if they could even find us. So... I guess for now, we've got a truce, if you wanna call it that."

"It's a stalemate," Annie adds as she sits down on the couch, settling in the corner where her long-bodied teammate hadn't managed to take over. She doesn't take up much space, though it's a little strange that she chose to sit there of all places. (Reiner in these past days, is probably more used to this new behavior.) "There's no winning here."

Of all the people that they had to deal with, running into Armin and Eren were two incidents that had done a number on her. She's not looking at anything in particular as she leans on the arm of the couch.

Armin. Why did it have to be Armin? Of all the betrayals, all the pain they've caused, it was knowing he'd disappointed Armin that hurt the worst. Bertolt hangs his head, averting his eyes from them, but nods once to show that he's understood.

"I won't bother them," he says quietly, and pulls Reiner's coat a little closer around his shoulders.

Reiner's eyes flick from Bertolt to Annie, then back to the brunet once more. They had all grown too close, hadn't they? In reality, the mission had failed the moment they had allowed the members of the 104th to creep into the cracks of their hearts and all of this, the entire fall out, was just a result of that fatal misstep.

Reaching over, he rests one hand on top of Bertolt's hair, lightly brushing it aside. "I know you wouldn't." For a moment the melancholy silence stretches, and it is more than Reiner can handle. Breathing out on a sound, he ruffles Bertolt's hair, the gesture as forcefully energetic as his grin. "Ah, nevermind. Don't worry about anything for now, I'll figure something out. I promise. I won't let you two down again."

There's a soft sound from Annie, almost nothing more than a quick inhalation of breath. That desire not to fail even more than they already have is something that she does understand, at least. One thing, though, that she's sure they didn't feel was that strange, urgent want to see Eren and Armin again. It was a prickling under her skin, a buzzing need, and it made so little sense that it's not too hard to disregard even if she can't ignore it.

Maybe it's just because she wants it over instead of hanging over her head, but there's no way to break this stalemate. She lifts her head, the corners of her mouth turned downward, staring at Reiner before looking back to Bertolt.

Bertolt wishes he had something clever or witty to say right now, but he's so exhausted and overwhelmed that all he can do is nod again. He doesn't share Reiner's optimism, or Annie's silence. He'll do as he's told, and observe. He's good at observation, at seeing things other people don't, even if he rarely has the courage to act on them.

He does have one question, though, and he directs it to Annie, even as his head sags, without his knowledge into Reiner's palm and his eyelids droop to half-mast. "We're still warriors?"

It's a two-fold question, one he hopes she'll understand. Firstly, do they still have their shifting abilities? Being somewhere between, he's not sure if they do. Second, is Reiner still himself, or does he keep slipping?

It's entirely the wrong question to ask Annie. Maybe if it didn't come with so much heavy weight attached for her personally, she might have read the right meaning into it. Instead, it strikes her as such a suddenly, inexplicably terrible question to ask her of all people.

A laugh escapes her before she can clamp down on the feeling that kept bubbling up within her. It's nothing like those flat, dry soft barks of derisive laughter that she made rarely when something really got her going. No, it's almost uncharacteristically giddy instead, but thankfully brief. "For all it does us when there's nothing left to fight for. We can't call ourselves that anymore. We have no right."

Even she looks shocked by her outburst when she's through. Her pale eyes are wide as she looks over at the other two shifters, and her lips part as if to say something more, but the words just aren't there.

At the outburst, Reiner's attention goes from Bertolt to Annie, mouth set in a line and his brows furrowing. It's not the first one of these outbursts he has witnessed, and he has a feeling it won't be the last one. What they had done is weighing heavily on her, too heavily, but for him to judge her for that would be an unfortunate tale of kettles and pots. At least she had always remembered who she was.

"Annie." His voice is soft, steady because he knows she needs him to be that right now. Which says all it does about the kind of situation they are in when they need the delusional guy to be the rock, but it is a role he still readily assumes. It's easier when he can shove his own guilt and inability down to the pit of his stomach to let it fester, so he can instead focus on theirs.

Shifting slightly, he reaches out, resting his hand on top of her head. "You're right, we don't. But we've already done too many things we didn't have a right to, stopping now won't make a difference." If only it did. If he could honestly convince himself that calling off their mission, calling it quits, could even come close to putting some right to what they had done, he would've done it. But it would not undo the thousands that had already died at their hands. It would not make the titans in the walls disappear, or the coordinate, or the needs of their people. They are still warriors, as unworthy as they are of that name, and warriors carry out their duties to the bitter (and it is oh so bitter) end.

Edited 2014-01-25 15:24 (UTC)

Bertolt shifts when Reiner does, so tired he's almost boneless, his eyes still wide from Annie's outburst. All right then, he knows at least a little of what he needs to know. They can still transform if they need to, and Reiner, at least now, is still aware of who and want he is.

He reaches out too, his hand only shaking a little, and touches Annie's knee with his fingertips. "We fight for each other." He looks at both of them, one at a time. "We've always fought for each other. There's no reason to stop now."

Open catch all introduction

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dear diary, the otp keeps happening

excuse you, sir, this is an ot3

don't ship-shame, Reiner only ships beruani

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