Try to see it my way

[raavashing]

Characters: Wan, Aang, Zuko
Date: 08.07 just after this
Location: Wood Sector; Mu-Gai
Situation: Wan takes Zuko to see Aang
Warnings/Rating: Awkward Zuko and Tears

[Wan followed the pull on his soul that he figured was most likely Aang. He still couldn't tell Aang and Korra apart from each other - and they both still just felt like him - but Korra didn't live in the Wood Sector like both Aang and Wan did. And the second tug on his soul was further out. The closer to Mu-Gai they got, the stronger that tug felt and he knew he'd chosen the right one to follow.

Wan trotted up to the door and knocked on it while he turned to look back at Zuko.]

He knows we're here... well, he knows I'm here, anyway. He should be down to see us pretty fast.

Comments

[12goingon113]

After the feast, yeah. And then the next day he challenged me to a series of tests in order to save my friends from Creeping Crystal. But it only turned out to be rock candy.

[raavashing]

I'm not sure I'd like him very much.

[Because wow. Who does that to friends? other than Bumi]

[12goingon113]

I don't think Sokka liked him very much either, but I was really happy to see him once I knew who he was. He's the only familiar face I'd seen that wasn't a past life or a statue.

[raavashing]

[Wan's eyes drifted the side and he drank his tea quietly, feeling very guilty all of a sudden. Jaya wasn't exactly a shining pillar of human decency when they met after his banishment, but if he'd survived and Wan had had a chance to see him after Harmonic Convergence, he'd be pretty happy about it.

Wan set his cup down and put on a smile.]

Then that's what matters, isn't it? I'm glad you got to see him again and that someone from your time before the ice was still there to welcome you.

[12goingon113]

For what it's worth? I think the two of you would get along great. He's all about non-linear thinking and approaching problems from a different point of view.

[raavashing]

[Well, that was as good an opening as he was going to get.]

Speaking of different points of view... are you okay?

[12goingon113]

[Aang examines his own tea for a moment while he chooses his words.]

You brought my second biggest enemy to my front door without any warning. I could be better.

[raavashing]

I'm sorry.

[Wan bowed his head.]

I didn't know he was your enemy. He talked about you as a friend. But I should have asked first.

[12goingon113]

It's okay.

[He takes a deep calming breath.]

I should have known it'd only be a matter of time before he showed up here. Everyone...everyone says that he teaches me firebending. That he's good. I even thought he was good once...but then he turned on me.

[raavashing]

It sounds like he took a lot longer to figure out where he belonged than you did. I don't know why he chose to turn on you when he did, but he seems genuinely sorry for having done it. But... if you ask him not to come near you, he'll probably do as you ask. You really don't have to accept his apology if you don't want to.

...but you'll have to find a firebending teacher eventually. If you don't want it to be him, I could teach you.

[12goingon113]

Thanks Wan.

[His cup. Oh how he considers his cup.]

I know I have to learn firebending, and I know that no matter what as the Avatar I'm a firebender, but...I don't like it. Fire has hurt so many people that I love.

[raavashing]

It's hurt people I love, too. A great deal of that by my own hand. It's not the fire that's dangerous, it's the people that use the fire. You shouldn't let your dislike of what it's been used for get in the way of what it's really about. Fire is... it's the power of life.

[12goingon113]

[Aang shrinks down in his chair. He grips the cup tightly.]




...the first time i used firebending i burned katara.

[raavashing]

You probably lost control and did it on accident.

[Wan was quiet for a moment, to give that statement time to hang in the air. Aang like Katara way too much to have done it on purpose. But the silence would help make the comparison he was making more pointed.]

The first time I met Raava, I hurt her with fire. On purpose. Burning her was not the fire's fault. It was mine. You hurt Katara with fire. But it wasn't the fire's fault. It was yours. You're the one who lost control.

[He spoke gently. He wasn't trying to reprimand Aang. He was just trying to make it clear that blaming the fire for doing what fire does rather than the person who directed it, was a way of taking the blame off the one actually responsible.]

[12goingon113]

I was just me, though. I was careless being just me. What happens when I firebend in the Avatar State, when I don't have any control at all?

I don't want to hurt anyone, Wan.

[raavashing]

You learn to control it. That's all you can do. If you don't want to hurt someone on accident just by being you, then you need to work to control the power. And when you're in the Avatar State, if you're not in control, then Raava is. If you want to control that, then you need to ask Raava to let you have that control.

[TOTALLY EASY.]

[12goingon113]

[Aang swallows hard. All the things that Raava has done for him...through him. They were all scary and they hurt so many people, not including himself.]

...okay.

[raavashing]

[Wan's brows furrowed and he leaned across the table a bit.]

You don't seem like you want to try that. Why not? Talk to me.

[12goingon113]

[Deep breath. Slow exhale. Calming.]

Well...for starters that's not how it ever worked for me. And...I can't reach the Avatar Sta-...I can't reach Raava at all now.

[raavashing]

Well, I know Korra said you were cut off from Raava, but... what do you mean by it not working like that for you?

[12goingon113]

[He looks up from his tea.]

She never spoke to me the way she does you. She just always...took over. When ever I got too angry, or to hurt or...was hurt or in danger. It was like watching the world from the outside in.

It's just different.

[raavashing]

[Wan leaned back in his seat, thinking that over. He hadn't had a lot of experience with Raava and the Avatar State yet. Just the few times he'd entered it while on Tu Shan, but he didn't believe she would ever just take control for no good reason. And it didn't sound - from Aang's description anyway - that she did it out of malice.]

So... she was doing it to... protect you?

[12goingon113]

[Aang gives a little nod.]

Like when the storm came and Appa and I fell into the water. But there were other times.

[He looks away again, off into the distance that's only so far as his own memory. Each story that gets told makes Aang pull in on himself just that little bit more.]

When General Fong made me think he'd hurt Katara, or when I found out the Sandbenders had put a muzzle on Appa. But the first time I remember was when I found Gyatso's body.

[raavashing]

No. Hey... I just want to help, but...

[Wan stood up, moving so he could crouch next to Aang's chair and put a hand on his arm.]

Don't pull away. Please. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you more.

[12goingon113]

[He does his best to evade direct eyecontact.]

You're here because you want to talk to me about why I don't trust Zuko, right?