Hayley Stark (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
everylittlegirl) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
tushanshu_logs2014-10-03 01:50 pm
everylittlegirl) wrote in tushanshu_logs2014-10-03 01:50 pm
Entry tags:
(no subject)
Characters: Hayley Stark & Clark Kent
Date: A few days after the deaths
Location: Clark's suite
Situation: They haven't spoken since Bart and Kon left. Time they did some catching up.
Warnings/Rating: None
There was no specific catalyst to Hayley's decision to visit Clark. No startling epiphany or dramatic reveal. It was a day like any other days in this God forsaken place when she opted to take the detour home from work in the evening. The last time they really spoke was when Lois left. Then there was Bart and Kon and everything happened so fast that Hayley had all but locked herself in her room for weeks. Solomon was helping her to ease out of that, helped her to take care of herself when her powers went awry. She didn't need Clark. But for some reason she refused to acknowledge, she kept feeling drawn back to him.
And so it was that she showed up on the doorstep of his suite, shifting from one foot to the other before lifting a hand to knock. As soon as the sound left the wood, she realized that Kon's goggles were nestled on top of her head and wondered if she should remove them, hide them. But she didn't want to. Hayley tugged at the sleeves of her red jacket to alleviate her anxiety, then wrapped her fingers around the strap of her messenger bag as she waited for him to answer the door.
Date: A few days after the deaths
Location: Clark's suite
Situation: They haven't spoken since Bart and Kon left. Time they did some catching up.
Warnings/Rating: None
There was no specific catalyst to Hayley's decision to visit Clark. No startling epiphany or dramatic reveal. It was a day like any other days in this God forsaken place when she opted to take the detour home from work in the evening. The last time they really spoke was when Lois left. Then there was Bart and Kon and everything happened so fast that Hayley had all but locked herself in her room for weeks. Solomon was helping her to ease out of that, helped her to take care of herself when her powers went awry. She didn't need Clark. But for some reason she refused to acknowledge, she kept feeling drawn back to him.
And so it was that she showed up on the doorstep of his suite, shifting from one foot to the other before lifting a hand to knock. As soon as the sound left the wood, she realized that Kon's goggles were nestled on top of her head and wondered if she should remove them, hide them. But she didn't want to. Hayley tugged at the sleeves of her red jacket to alleviate her anxiety, then wrapped her fingers around the strap of her messenger bag as she waited for him to answer the door.
no subject
He didn’t hide; he didn’t go out of his way to avoid people. He still got groceries- less and less as time went by, since he didn’t really need to eat. He still took care of the radio, and obviously kept an ear out just in case someone needed him. The S-shield on his chest stood for ‘hope’, and after he’d finally got to meet his father he was more than ever determined to be worthy of belonging to that particular family.
But he definitely didn’t look for people, either. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had a conversation with someone, an actual conversation that wasn’t small talk or chit-chat. He’d been determined not to let Lois’s loss hit him, but it wasn’t just Lois anymore. It was Hal and Barry, it was Galatea and Mark and Kaine. It was Bart. And it was Kon, who was going home just to die saving the world. He wasn’t quite ‘done’ but he was getting there.
So it was a surprise to hear someone knocking. He didn’t bother trying to see who it was, he’d learned his lesson the moment the powers started doing crazy. So she got to see his eyebrows rise up when he opened the door and saw her.
“Hayley?” A glance up the glasses said they hadn’t gone unnoticed. Kon must have left them behind when he left, or outright given it to her- his father had given her the cape as well, hadn’t he? He wondered if he should leave something behind for her, in case he ever left.
And promptly berated himself for giving in to that line of thinking. He was still here after all.
“Come in, did you need anything?”
no subject
"Hey, I.." She started, anxiety evident in her tone. Hayley glanced back over her shoulder, grimacing, wondering if this was a terrible idea. Then she closed her eyes for a second, working up her courage, and turned to look up at him again. "I want to talk about them. With.. you? With you."
no subject
“I’m always here to talk if you need it, Hayley. About…” Them. He suddenly understood why she’d been so vague. There really was no other way to say it, no other to make it any less painful. “About anything you need to talk about, just say the word. Do you want to take a seat? Something to drink or eat?”
Really, he was just fishing for ways on how to make the whole thing more comfortable for her.
no subject
Hayley had to choose between feeling anxious or angry and it was always so much easier to focus on lashing out than sitting with her pain. She wanted to punch him, push him, blame him for everything that was wrong with her and every bad thing that had happened since she arrived here. Yet she couldn't bring herself to do it, to take things that far. Instead, she reached up and balled her hands into fists in her hair, pulling just enough to feel the tension without ripping her hair out.
no subject
He was familiar with it, even- familiar with how people reacted when they lost someone important. He would get to see Hal, Barry, Bruce, Diana… Kon and Bart. But he’d lost Mark, Kaine, Galatea, Steve, Percy… and everyone else not from their world forever. And he knew, whatever he’s feeling, Hayley had it even worse since she had no one from her world in the turtle. He had to handle it with care.
“When I was a newborn, I lost an entire planet. Not my parents, not my family, not even my guild. My species, my history, my people… gone forever.” But he knew it was hard to process such a big loss. So he kept on going.
“In my line of work you lose people constantly. I’ve lost friends. I’ve lost family. I lost a woman I loved once. Back at home I had just lost my best friend, my father and the uncle I’d thought I’d lost forever all in the span of a couple months. And then I got here and I got to see my best friend again only to lose him. I got to see my biological father, someone I never thought I’d get the chance to meet, just to lose him later.”
His hands were trembling as he reached for some herbs to make himself a tea. He didn’t even want it; he just needed to do something with his hands.
“It’s not just people. I had to see Smallville, the place I was raised into, destroyed once. Metropolis, my city… I’ve almost lost Metropolis more times than I can count. I was hated sometimes, because of things I did- sometimes because I had made a mistake, sometimes because I’d been under some influence or another. It doesn’t make any change when you see the hatred on people’s eyes.”
He shook his head, reaching then for some water to boil.
“Thing is, I’m not calm. I’m not calm at all. But over the years you eventually learn to keep certain things to yourself. You learn to cope with loss and... keep inside, I suppose.”
no subject
"When Lois.. disappeared, I told you I hadn't really lost anyone I cared about before." She replied softly. Hayley knew she was being more open and vulnerable than she had been with pretty much anyone since Bart and Kon left. Clark was the only person remaining whom she could be honest with, even if it was uncomfortable for her to be. In its own way, this was selfish too. A selfishness she hoped he would allow her.
"Now.. I know what it's like. And it sucks." It was an over simplification, but it perfectly captured the situation. Except then she couldn't stop herself from continuing.
"And I don't want to keep it inside.. and I hate that everyone just keeps going on and living their lives like no one disappeared when so many people have. I don't expect the world to stop or whatever and I know they're not dead, but- I don't know. It kinda feels like they are and I doubt I'll ever see them again and knowing that I'm going to forget when I go home? It's worse. I wasn't sure before, but now I am. It's definitely worse.
"I don't want to forget, Clark. I don't want to.." Hayley trails off, sliding down the door until she's sitting on the floor. She presses her fingers to her face and, feeling moisture there, digs the heels of her hands against her closed eyes, trying to stop the tears there.
no subject
"Hayley-"
But then he turned around, actually looked at her- and left everything he was doing to almost run by her side. Hayley was strong, but maybe she’d been strong for so long she didn’t know what to do with her feelings in a moment of weakness.
“I’m going to hug you, okay? If you’re uncomfortable with it, you just have to tell me.” And he wrapped his arms around her as he said so, a hand right below her beck as he pulled her closer.
sorry for the tense swapping
"I don't want to be alone," she admitted in a ghost of a whisper, something she knew Clark would hear.
fff didn't even notice
“I wish I could say I’m here for you, but I can’t promise that.” He didn’t break the hug, speaking in a tone only barely above a whisper so she could hear it. “But I can promise as long as I’m here, you will never be alone.
You know the true me now. You know I am not nearly as open as some people might think, it takes a while for me to be a hundred per cent open and I am actually quite distant to most people that aren't my direct family. But my door is always open for you.”
<3
"Can I stay for awhile?" She asked softly. As she began to calm, her muscles relaxed and her hands loosened and then fell away from his shirt. But she remained beside him, against him, reveling in the security of it and simultaneously warning herself that it was false hope.