tushanshu_logs | you're standing too close to a flame that's burning

Current Music: "I Burn" - RWBY Season 1 OST

Entry tags:

you're standing too close to a flame that's burning | open, with starters

Characters: ~~Eyebrow Squad~~ Gene, Jackie, Deon, and you!
Date: Throughout July
Location: Keeliai and the rest of the shell
Situation: July interactions for Eyebrow Squad.
Warnings/Rating: None initially, but subject to change.

A. [Gene] House Iron Dragon | July 6 | closed to Pepper

Gene's been able to keep his emotions contained after his initial breakdown upon first experiencing the vision, but he can't hold that tide back forever on his own. At least he manages to keep it in until he reaches the house, and immediately goes into the kitchen to make himself some tea just so he has something to do with his hands (that isn't dig his nails into his palms so hard they nearly draw blood). But he doesn't finish making it; he's barely gotten the cup down when he's seized with another wave of grief and anger and frustration and guilt. It slams down a little harder than he'd meant it to, making a clatter, and he rests his elbows on the edge of the counter, his nails digging into his scalp, his eyes screwed shut.

B. [Gene] House Iron Dragon | early July | closed to Raine

Gene's been practicing a little - scraps of different metals were scattered across a piece of the kitchen he'd claimed as his temporary workroom. Some experiments had clearly been more successful than others, but there's a clear progression of his improving skill and finesse with the orange ring. Fine-tuning it had been the hardest part, and he wants to be especially careful when dealing with something as delicate as someone else's soul gem.

C. [Gene] Sky Sector | mid-July | open

Gene's seemed pretty preoccupied as of late - though with things in Keeliai being how they are, who could blame him? His mood's brightened considerably since leaving Zeshora in their wake, though, and he's back to being as chipper as he usually is. Which is to say, not especially, but at least he won't bite your head off if you look at him the wrong way.

He's taking down notes from time to time, but if you try and read over his shoulder, you may not be in luck. Unless you can read Mongolian script, of course. Hey, some people here can read Chinese, and a whole lot can read English. There are some notes he'd rather keep to himself instead of sharing with any nosey parker lurking somewhere over his shoulder.

D. [Jackie] Water Sector | early July | closed to Dove

Jackie's been keeping mostly to himself lately as he's been trying to figure out how to leave the Snakes. Today, he's walking by one of the canals, trying to relax in the most laid-back sector, when he sees someone familiar.

"Hey, Dove!" he calls out, hoping he's right.

E. [Jackie] Water Sector | July 6 | open

The vision had driven Jackie straight to a bar. He doesn't really know what he's drinking and he doesn't much care, just so long it gets those horrible visions out of his head. He knows, somewhere, miserably, that it won't get out, no matter how much vodka-analogue he tries to drown the memory in. It's seared itself on his neurons, and he misses Rio'era terribly.

F. [Deon] Metal Sector | mid-July | open

Deon's been a bit unmoored this month; what with the Stark Industries handover and that horrible vision of the baby turtles soon after, and of course Vincent being around and in the Hotel, he's been very jumpy of late. Definitely jumpier than usual. Nobody come up behind him, okay? It's undignified for a 6'2" man to scream.

G. [Deon] Sky Sector | July 18 | closed to Dr. Light

Deon had gone on a shopping expedition today, but his prize had been quite unexpected. The kedan hadn't seemed to know what he had, and was selling for a reasonable price, so Deon had snatched it up immediately, his heart pounding in his ears.

The laptop sat on the table across from him, bedecked with Tetravaal decals, and dead as a doornail. It had no charge whatsoever, and if it had even shown up in Keeliai with a charger, it had long since been lost.

He picked up his tea, and stared at the laptop. It was exactly what he needed, but he needed to devise a way to power it, first. And that is not his forte.

OOC Note: If you want another starter, please hit me up over at

Chatvert and I'll pull something together for you! :>

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Pepper only recently learned about the turtles from Skul, including that some of them had been victims of Malicant. He hasn't told her what had happened - maybe he didn't know - and now she would give anything to forget what she had just seen.

But she can't. It's like the vision has been burned into the back of her eyelids, playing over and over again, the screams of pain ringing in her ears. She's never seen something so horrible. She had been walking towards the kitchen when it hit her, and she found herself on the floor when it was done. Since then she's managed to make it to the nearest wall to lean against, curled into a shaking ball.

Pepper didn't hear Gene come in, but the clatter of the cup on the counter startles her, and she looks up. He doesn't look so good either.

"Gene...? Did you- did you see...?" She can't say it. Her voice is shaking.

It takes Gene a moment to realize that Pepper's here, too. He hadn't noticed her, as lost in his own grief/anger/despair as he'd been. He raises his head from his hands, looks at her, tries to figure out how to say what he wants to say.

"They died," he says, trying to keep his voice as controlled and atonal as possible, though anger still bleeds in around the edges. "They died, and we could do nothing."

Pepper recognizes that edge to Gene's voice, and it seems out of place in this house, where there is no armor between them. He sounds like he did when he found out Tony was Iron Man - betrayed, angry, sorrowful. Back then she was too shocked to recognize it, but now she knows what she's looking for. Slowly, she unfolds herself from her sitting position and moves closer to the kitchen, towards Gene, hugging herself.

"Is that what it was like? With Malicant, I mean," she says quietly, stopping a few feet from him. Before she had no reason to fear that long-gone evil. Now she does.

Pepper looks uncertain - even rattled by what she saw, to Gene's eye. He doesn't like that look for her. He's seen her angry, upset, and shocked, but never quite like this.

He nods a little, trying to fight the sorrow and anger back from his expression, and realizing that he probably doesn't have to. Pepper's already seen the worst of him, or close enough to it. "All we knew before was that they'd been killed. We saw their bodies, and Emperor Evandau's, strewn across the steps of the Palace like...discarded toys." He takes a shuddering breath. "We never knew how they'd been killed. Not like...not like that." The mental tang of fear from the baby turtles in the vision, still lingering, made his nerves itch, made him want to tear his skin to silence it, and the guilt. "We'd all been knocked unconscious for hours with Malicant's magic. There was nothing we could do."

If there was anything that could convince Pepper that Gene has changed, it's this. Gene had never been particularly open about his emotions, both as friends and as enemies. He had certainly not trusted any of them with how he was really feeling. She'd be more shocked if her nerves didn't feel numb.

"That's awful. Worse than awful." She looks down at the floor for a moment. "Skulduggery... he said they adopted Foreigner parents." Almost unwillingly, she raises her eyes to meet Gene's again. "Was one of them yours?"

Gene shakes his head. "No. Kalliel was spared that. I'm not sure why." The guilt still gnaws at him, the guilt, why was your turtle spared, why weren't you able to stop it, why didn't you do anything.

He turns back towards his tea preparations, suddenly unwilling to let Pepper see him so raw. This hurts more than it reasonably should to talk about; he thinks the talking is what's making it worse.

It feels like a knot has loosened in Pepper's stomach. It's still awful that any baby turtles died, but Gene has already lost so much. He had said it himself, in that helicopter on the way to Peru.

Gene needs to know he hasn't lost her either, even if she's still upset with him.

"Wait, Gene." She moves to his side, reaching for the mug in his hand. "I'll do it. Just sit." It's an order, but a gentle one.

For a moment, Gene looks like he's about to argue. But that's soon replaced with a look of weariness, and he nods, and gives her the cup.

He sits down without argument, the vision running through his head again on a loop. Why? Why couldn't they stop it? He'd never really accepted it in his heart that Malicant had brought the entire population of Keeliai to its knees and that there hadn't been anything anyone could do to prevent it.

So he sits there, fuming, as Pepper takes over.

Gene could have made the tea faster, what with his rings-o'-domestic-chores, but it's easy enough for Pepper to do it. Once the kettle is on the stove, she gets the two mugs ready with tea. It'll be a few minutes before the water boils, so she turns around to look at Gene, leaning against the counter for support.

She's not sure what to say right now. It feels a little awkward, sitting here and just talking to Gene when they're both so upset.

"Would you... tell me about Kalliel?" He doesn't have to, but she wants to know, from Gene's perspective as 'adopted parent', what one of the turtles was like.

He'd been about to make the tea on the stove anyway - it'd give him more time to calm down. Besides, he'd probably shatter the teapot with the heat if he tried anything so delicate while his emotions were a mess like this.

He looks up at Pepper, a little surprised by the question, before he obliges. "He's funny," Gene says after a moment with a little smile. "Really cheerful, too. Always looking on the bright side of things." His expression turns troubled. "At least, that's how he was the last time I saw him. The message he left seems to indicate that he hasn't changed very much, but...I hope he doesn't think I abandoned him."

Because he feels guilty for that, too, even though it wasn't his fault.

Pepper is glad he lets her deal with making tea, that he lets her do anything for him, quite frankly. He had a tendency to want to do things himself all the time.

Gene's smile is reassuring, even if it's small and fleeting. Amidst all the awfulness of the vision, it's a bright spot.

"He sounds...sweet. You must miss him a lot." She fiddles with the handle of a mug. "There wasn't anything you could do about the Dreaming, though. And if they're still getting in touch, they have to at least think that you would care to listen, or they wouldn't have left messages in the first place, right?"

It's a mark of no small degree of trust that he's letting Pepper make the tea right now. Not just trust that she won't explode his kitchen, either. He'd had to be self-reliant for so long that it was weird and alien to give up any of that independence to let his friends do things for him. Right now, he appreciates it.

"Yeah...I guess you're right," Gene says. Then he looks at her. "Are you okay?" He realizes he hasn't asked yet.

For a few moments, Pepper is silent. She stares at the floor and tugs at the hem of her shirt, trying to make the pinpricks at the corners of her eyes go away before she looks back up at Gene.

"Not really," she finally replies, shaking her head. "I didn't- people told me about Malicant. I didn't understand. Now..."

Gene frowns. Of course she's not okay. She hadn't asked to come here, hadn't asked to have the last terrified minutes of the hatchlings' life seared into her brain. None of them had exactly volunteered, true, but she hadn't been around for Malicant, couldn't have grasped the horror of such a being without seeing it firsthand.

He wishes she didn't have to.

After a moment, he gets to his feet. "Do you...want a hug?" he asks hesitantly, not sure if that's the right thing to say and not sure if he'll regret it.

When Gene stands, Pepper is more than a little confused. Add this to the list of things Gene Khan Did Not Do.

That being said, she could also really, really use a hug.

She nods and mumbles something inaudible before hiding her face against his shoulder and holding onto his shirt, trying not to cry. She may or may not be succeeding.

Gene freezes when she does hug him, burying her face in his shoulder; he holds his arms up out of her way for a few seconds, before gently, awkwardly settling his arms around her and patting her back like he's expecting to get bitten.

This is hard, okay?

"It's over now, though. We made sure Malicant would never harm anyone again." Cold comfort, after such a vision.

Pepper doesn't really care if Gene can't figure out what to do with his arms. He's there, and he's trying to make her feel better despite this clearly being unfamiliar territory. Gene cares, and he's comforting her despite how upset he is.

She pulls her head back just far enough so her voice won't sound muffled.

"That kind of pain..." She shivers slightly. "I don't think that goes away, Gene." It lingers, and it burns whenever it's recalled. Pepper releases Gene's shirt and wraps her arms around him, hugging him back. He probably won't ever say it, but he needs a hug too. "It gets easier to deal with, but it doesn't go away."

"I know," he says, bowing his head, his eyes closed. "It doesn't."

How much loss has he had to deal with in his short life? His mother, his friends, so many people he'd grown accustomed to here...and now the turtles, too? At least he hadn't seen his mother die. At least he'd been spared that. But the grief from the turtles' death is still too fresh, too raw, now that he's had to see them tortured and killed.

Pepper squeezes Gene a little tighter for a few moments, trying to return the comfort he had offered her. Her determination to make him feel better offers a balm of its own. She didn't pick the name Rescue for nothing.

"It's a good thing we've both got someone to awkwardly hug at times like this, huh?" She lets go of him and stands at arms length, wiping her eyes. The tea kettle had started to whistle, so Pepper turns off the heat and pours the boiling water into the mugs, trying to keep her hands from shaking. "Here."

She hands Gene one of the mugs, giving him a watery smile.

He is still confused by this whole hugging thing. But it is making him feel a little better.

"Yeah," he says, his own smile just as weak as he accepts the mug. "Thanks."

He is a little misty behind his glasses, but if she tries to call him out on it, he'll just deny it as a trick of the light.

It's almost like Pepper is seeing another person. In many ways it's true, but she had known this side of him existed for a long time. Even when he was at his worst, she always believed he still had good in him. Still, it's one thing to believe it and a very different thing to see it an experience it.

"You're welcome." She sighs tiredly and goes to sit at the table, pulling one of her knees to her chest. "This is so many different levels of not okay."

"You're telling me," he says, curling his hands around the mug. It's hot, but it's helping to ground him - and the mild pain is something he almost thinks he deserves.

After a moment, he lifts it and takes a sip. Still too hot to drink comfortably, but it is helping to shock him out of his funk.

"I'm sorry you had to see that."

Edited 2015-07-23 00:08 (UTC)

Pepper blows on her tea to cool it down, holding it carefully to avoid burning herself. She waits to drink it though; a burnt tongue will only add to her list of problems.

She turns to Gene, frowning slightly, head tilted, studying him for a moment.

"Why do you always do that?"

"Do what?" he asks, completely nonplussed, and sets down the mug. His hands are still curled around it for the warmth, and that helps ground him and keep him from slipping back into a despairing funk. Pepper doesn't need to see that from him. He doesn't want her pity.

"You apologize a lot for things you didn't do." Not that Gene doesn't have things to apologize for, but she's noticed a tendency that he seems to have developed in Keeliai. She takes a careful sip of the tea.

"And I know people use 'sorry' because it sounds a lot better than 'empathize' but it still kind of implies you're to blame, whether you mean it to or not."

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