tushanshu_logs | august rushes by like desert rainfall

Entry tags:

august rushes by like desert rainfall | open, with starters

Characters: ~~Eyebrow Squad~~ Gene, Jackie, Deon, and you!
Date: Throughout August
Location: Keeliai and the rest of the shell
Situation: August interactions for Eyebrow Squad.
Warnings/Rating: None initially, but subject to change.

A. [Gene] House Iron Dragon | backdated to July 18 because I'm a rebel and I can do what I want | closed to Pepper and Tony

Gene is quite intimately familiar with Tony's birthday - being that that's the date he'd accidentally the alien apocalypse, and all. He's determined to get Tony a better sort of present this year now that they are on speaking terms (and considerably more than that). And he has enlisted Pepper to craft a small surprise party for Tony, because he has had absolutely zero experience with birthday parties whatsoever.

So he has a present, but he's a bit at wit's end trying to deal with this strange animal known as a 'party'. Luckily, Pepper's got his back.

B. [Gene] Sky Sector | early August | open

Gene's seemed pretty preoccupied as of late - though with things in Keeliai being how they are, who could blame him? His mood's brightened considerably since leaving Zeshora in their wake, though, and he's back to being as chipper as he usually is. Which is to say, not especially, but at least he won't bite your head off if you look at him the wrong way.

He's taking down notes from time to time, but if you try and read over his shoulder, you may not be in luck. Unless you can read Mongolian script, of course. Hey, some people here can read Chinese, and a whole lot can read English. There are some notes he'd rather keep to himself instead of sharing with any nosey parker lurking somewhere over his shoulder.

C. [Gene] House Iron Dragon | mid-August | closed to Tony

Oh look, an arrivalversary party.

Gene just can't seem to avoid the damn things these days - birthday parties and now a (small, personal) party to celebrate the anniversary of his and Tony's arrivals in Keeliai. Tony arrived a year ago (or two) and Gene arrived two years ago (or three), and as a result Gene at least is one of the longer-tenured Foreigners around.

He doesn't feel very special as he sits at the table in the kitchen, waiting for Tony to wake up.

D. [Gene] Raine's House | mid-August | closed to Raine

Anton's advice had been welcome, but Pepper was still...well, Pepper. And Raine knew more about Gene than almost anyone, so he'd decided to pay her a visit and ~~beg~~ ask for advice. He's arrived at the home she shares with Solomon, and hopes the necromancer isn't in, mostly because he just does not have the mental energy for dealing with Solomon right now. He knocks, a little unsure all of a sudden.

OOC Note: If you want another starter, please hit me up over at

Chatvert and I'll pull something together for you! :>

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Raine is, unfortunately, correct. Gene's doing his best to look fine, and he even smiles at her when she opens the door. Not a creepy smile, either, but it does look a little shy.

"Things are...things," he says, both cryptically and tautologically. "Do you have a minute?"

A smile is a start; at least, Raine thinks, it isn't world-shatteringly bad, if he can still smile at her. "Yes, I have some time," she says. The theorizing she was in the middle of will keep. In a moment, she smiles back at him, a little but genuine thing. "Here, or would you prefer to go somewhere? I have tea..."

He's being cryptic. Her smile fades a little as she studies him, concern making a resurgence.

'Cryptic' is his bread and butter. Also, 'mildly ominous'. It's an old bad habit he hasn't quite managed to shake, even here.

"Here's fine," he says, his tone neutral, his voice maybe a shade softer than it should be.

Raine eyes him a second longer, but she lets him in, trusting him to close the door behind him, and heads for the kitchen table. "All right. Can I get you anything to drink?" she asks, attempting at least for a moment or two to be a polite host. Right on the heels of that, though, she adds, "What brings you here?"

"Tea?" he asks, stepping in and closing the door behind him, as expected.

Gene hadn't expected her to maintain the facade for long, and truth be told he's grateful for it. He can't abide dancing around the issue like he'd feared he might have to do.

"I was wondering if I could ask you for some advice."

"All right." Since he hasn't specified iced, despite the heat of the day, Raine takes him at his word and sets a kettle on to boil, paying it probably less attention than she should. While that's starting, she gestures to a chair at the table, leans against the counter nearby and fixes her gaze on Gene, curious.

She's not sure what advice he could want. Something to do with Tony? ...or perhaps Pepper? "I'll certainly try my best," she says with a nod. "What's the matter?"

ICED TEA IS THE PROVINCE OF THE MORALLY BANKRUPT so Raine made a good call there.

He sits down at the indicated chair, trying to run over the words he'd wanted to say again. "I don't like asking for advice, but you've helped me with something similar before." That's a nice way to say 'you found me on the verge of a public freakout and talked me down'. "You know Pepper, right?"

"I know Pepper," Raine says. This time her smile's a little wry, mostly because the ways in which she has gotten to know Pepper are unique. Shopping. 3D printing. Armor experiments. She's fond of Pepper, really.

And the fact that Gene needs advice about her says that whatever awkwardness Pepper's still working through, Gene is likely feeling. Or experiencing for himself. "You don't have to deal with everything by yourself," she murmurs, more passing comment than injunction, and shakes her head. That's not the point. "Has Pepper done something unusual?"

She will not, in fact, be telling Gene that Pepper stopped by for advice about him.

Haha! Why would she do that! That would be awful!

He shakes his head. "No. I mean...nothing unusual for her." Which is another metric entirely. "I'm just..."

Then he exhales.

"I don't know what to do around her. Sometimes she's acting like we're friends again, sometimes she gives me that...that look, like I'm a m--" Don't say 'monster'. "--fiend, and I don't think she even knows she's doing it." It's always when he's doing something innocuous, too, like cooking; it's a look in her eye and sometimes the rest of her face, too, and growing up like he did you learn to monitor facial expressions for even minute changes, for a look of disapproval, a hardening of the eyes, a tightening of the lips.

He's not scared of her. But maybe he should be. Maybe he is scared of her, not scared of Pepper but scared of what she represents - a world that hates him, a world that doesn't understand, a world that had tossed him to the side long ago. For I have come to hate the world, this world that always hated me.

Raine can fill in the word he changed his mind about easily enough, it's hardly a mystery. And, having had Pepper's outlook on this very issue, she can advise with somewhat less guesswork-- even if she will have to step carefully to avoid revealing exactly how she knows some things, beyond studied logic.

"She's only been here since May, correct?" Raine says in a moment, thinking aloud. It's three months, give or take some. Enough time to adjust to some things, perhaps not to others. "I wonder. It may be that she's still having difficulty reconciling your past actions with the person she knows you to be now."

That is not at all the voice of experience. Really. Raine thinks briefly of Bakura, and sighs. "Short of bringing the issue to her directly -- which may or may not help -- I don't know that there's much more you can do, besides give her space and continue to demonstrate that you won't hurt anyone." There's a pause, while she thinks over the merits of adding something more, and then, more quietly, "I wonder if living together is helping or hindering."

Gene nods at her question. It seems like Pepper's been around longer, but maybe that's just the fact that it's been downright nice having someone else from home around. She'd slotted back into their lives comfortably enough, he'd thought. But then, if he really thought that, he wouldn't be here, would he?

But he laughs a little. "She's not alone in that. So am I." Though his issues are more in the realm of self-hatred for the selfish boy he'd used to be, and remorse expressing itself as self-flagellation. He's reasonably sure that's not a healthy way to atone. He's also reasonably sure he doesn't care.

"So just...keep doing what I'm doing, huh?" He exhales. "She'd seemed fine with living together, before, uh...before we told her. About us."

And boy, had that been fun!

Pepper had said she was fine with it. Now Raine has to wonder if that's contributing, as well. Additionally: "Is it... possible she may have had feelings for one of you, before?" she asks, as delicately as she knows how.

It's certainly a complex dynamic, and Raine won't be entirely surprised if it's just that Pepper can't quite grasp how Tony can forgive Gene enough to begin an intimate relationship-- but she won't be surprised if Pepper had feelings for one of them, either, nor if they were completely clueless about that.

She's worried about Gene, too, the way he's talking about himself, but she can't handle everything at once. "You're trying your best to make up for the past," she says. "Aren't you?" She still doesn't know exactly what he's done, true, but Pepper said enough to give her a concerning picture.

Gene stops at that, and thinks for a moment. "She did seem angrier at Tony than at me...oh God." The horror finally sinks in and his face visibly pales.

He scrubs at his face to bring some color back to his cheeks at Raine's question, and the fact that it buys him some more time is purely incidental. "I am," he says, sounding chagrined and genuinely remorseful. "Though I'm not certain I'm believed."

Raine watches this reaction with no small amount of sympathy, mostly because she knows something like that feeling. It's odd, to think there's something a friend has hidden from you so well. Especially when someone outside the situation can then point it out to you as simply as if it was nothing.

"It's possible that's complicating matters, as well," Raine fills in, almost apologetically.

The kettle whistles, interrupting whatever she'd been about to say about him making up for things. Raine startles upright, turns away to go about the business of measuring tea leaves and pouring water. She sets the tea to steep, the small pot steaming gently on the counter between her and Gene. There's no strange smells coming from it, or at least not yet-- tea is one of the things it's more difficult for her to get experimental with, fortunately.

"I think," Raine says. Stops, considering carefully what she's about to say, before forging ahead anyway. "I think it worth noting that it is possible to believe that someone is making that effort, and not trust them. Trusting someone doesn't mean believing they're a good person; similarly, it's possible even for good people to do terrible things, when the situation is right." She maintains a fairly even tone throughout, perhaps a little grave. "Even if she believes in your heart, it takes time to re-forge bonds of trust."

Gene shakes his head, and keeps quiet while Raine fetches the tea and pours. The only indication that he's aware of her return is that he takes the cup and stares into it while the tea steeps. He looks up when she begins to speak again, staring at her with eyes that are almost haunted.

"How can I expect her to trust me again? Not just for what I did, but for..." He puts the cup down, waves his hand vaguely, as if to say 'for stealing her man'. Though, it's not like she'd put her name on him or anything. Finders keepers?

Raine gives him a curious look; she has not quite managed to fill in the 'stealing Pepper's man' part. Tony is more or less an adult, and can make his own choices.

"Give it time," she says in a moment, quiet, entirely serious. "Pepper is... she believes in the better nature of people, I think." She quirks a smile. "Sometimes she reminds me of a student of mine, actually. But my point is that I believe she wants to believe in you, but that things are still too raw for her." Gene's been here a long time. Years. Longer than Raine herself.

"It may be that all you can do is wait, and continue to be who you are now." Raine pours her own cup, taps her fingers on the side of it. "I'm aware that's likely not what you wanted to hear, but I do think Pepper will resolve things herself, or, if not, approach you about it directly."

She hopes.

If and when Gene tries the tea, he will discover that it tastes... weird. There's at least one flavor in there that just does not jive with the overall taste of the tea.

Gene frowns. "I'm not sure that wanting to believe in me will be enough. She did before - want to believe in me, I mean. And I paid her back with scorn and betrayal."

He picks up the cup again, drinks, and pauses. That's...is that oregano? Tea should not be tasting like pasta. He puts the cup down, a little further away from himself than it had been when he started. It's rude not to finish it; he'll keep drinking it. Slowly. In small doses.

"I don't know if continuing to be who I am now would help. Tony says I'm...good...now. But I don't know if I believe that."

It might be oregano. It might be a local spice that 'accidentally' got mixed in with today's tea leaves. Don't judge her.

Raine's quiet for a little longer, mostly because she's working out how to reassure Gene without breaching Pepper's confidence, or, in fact, outright informing Gene that Pepper has come to her about this matter. It's a delicate middle ground to tread. "It matters because she still does, despite that betrayal-- despite everything that's come in between," Raine says finally, trying to be gentle. "Your relationship can't be the same as it was. But that doesn't mean it can't be repaired, either. It will take time, of course, but... Pepper's still here."

In other words, she's still trying. Is willing to try. And that means something, in and of itself.

At his last Raine smiles tiredly, tilting her head a little to the side. "You're a good person, Gene," she says, simply, like it isn't even a question. "I know you've done things-- I don't know the specifics, but I can make some educated guesses. Even a good person, in the right situation, can and will do terrible things." And that was, entirely, the voice of experience. "Neither negates the other. What you do with your future is what matters."

He'll judge you if you continue to defile good tea, Raine!

Gene shakes his head, smiling a little bit, his expression as weary as Raine's. "People keep telling me that. What do you think the odds are that I might believe them one day?

"But no," he says, and takes another drink of the tea. "I wasn't a good person back then, when I did those things. I still doubt that I am."

It's hardly defiling. Unless you happen to place tea on a pedestal, in which case, yes, probably.

Raine sighs a little, but she doesn't immediately try to argue the point. Instead she changes tacks. "If you have verification from multiple independent sources, the chances that they're wrong are slim," she points out. She tests her own tea, pauses, gives it a curious look, but drinks it regardless. "What is it that makes you think you aren't, or can't be?"

She's straying from the Pepper problem, she realizes, but this may also be important.

He sighs. "Anton said that my life doesn't belong to me anymore, that it belongs to the people I've wronged. And I can't handle that. I can't give myself over when I've barely had the chance to live it myself."

And he smiles. "You see? Selfish, and bad."

"Gene," Raine says, reproving. She frowns at him over her drink -- not angry, more troubled -- and after another sip, sets the mug down and laces her fingers together. Where does she even start with that?

"This isn't just about Pepper," she says eventually. "Is it." As much as it's stating the obvious, they've both gone somewhere a little removed from the initial problem now, and it deserves explicit addressing. "It's true that the past can't be erased. The weight of the things you've done is likely something you will always carry, though the burden may lighten, with time, and with friends to help you bear it. That doesn't mean you're not your own any more; it's simply a responsibility. Like any other, it may be addressed or turned from as you will, but that choice, and its consequences, remain yours."

She's aware even as she's saying it that it isn't really... comforting, and she tilts her head a little to the side, eyes softening. "Being human doesn't make you bad and selfish, Gene. Only fallible."

Gene shakes his head. "It's...I don't know."

He sighs and looks into his tea. "Fallibility isn't...it's not something I was ever allowed to have. I can't be fallible. There's been too much counting on me."

"Gene," she says again, quietly. She's seen that -- the determination that one must succeed at all costs -- in a very different way, though it still took a great deal of a toll on the person who carried it.

"You don't have to bear all the burden by yourself," she tells him, a moment later, for emphasis. "And now is not then." They're obvious statements, she thinks, but sometimes the obvious needs to be put into words so people can hear it, approach the knowledge consciously. It can make a difference. "What do you do when you make a mistake?" It's a leading question, sort of, but Raine is genuinely looking for his thought processes as well.

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