tushanshu_logs | so long as you come home at the end of the day [July, catchall, open]

Entry tags:

so long as you come home at the end of the day [July, catchall, open]

Characters: Raine Sage and OPEN
Date: mostly after 9th July, as attitudes will differ markedly before and after
Location: Many places: special mention for apartment in Earth, Healers' Guild in Water
Situation: lots.
Warnings/Rating: hold on to your feels, Raine's misplaced her husband. warnings updated as things change.

A | Healers' Guild | Open

Before the ninth, business is as usual; Raine is brisk and efficient. After the ninth, she makes a level attempt to throw herself into work, at the Guild long hours and busy more often than not. She may be found in her office, sometimes awake, sometimes passed out over her desk with the door ajar; down in Solomon's old laboratory space, sifting through his research; or with patients. She seems more tired, and she smiles less frequently, but she doesn't do her job with any less dedication.

B | park in Earth sector, later in the month | Open

When the familiar surroundings of her apartment get too much, and she's been nudged out of the Guild by coworkers, Raine walks, takes herself out to watch people and keep herself moving. Often she stops in a park, a little ways away from the more traveled areas, and sits to meditate, pale light glowing under her and at her fingertips. Focusing on her magic helps: it won't abide distraction, and she gives all her attention to the clean peace of mana and light, rather than emotion.

As a result, she will be easily startled.

C | Wildcard??? | Open

D | apartment | Sheena

Raine allots herself a few days, not so much to work through the loss as to try to hammer out the nuances of working around it. It may not be the best strategy, but it's what she has. She's not oblivious, all the while, to the food that appears while her remaining roommate disappears, but it takes her some time to actually catch Sheena in the apartment.

On Sheena's day off she taps on the closed door of the room, frowning slightly to herself. It's beginning to seem like Sheena's avoiding her, and if something's wrong with Sheena, Raine would prefer to address it now, before it becomes something worse.

[ooc; if you'd like to plot, hit me up via pm or

makaricrow. c: other than that, let me know specifically if you need Raine before the ninth for some reason, since her attitude and mood will differ drastically before and after.]

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He's a bit taken aback by how quickly she comes to the point, after the cautious small talk and eyeing another of their first meeting. Looks like she's made her choice already, though he wouldn't dare make a bet which one it is. Grief makes people unpredictable, he should know.

"I have." He leans forward, elbows propped up on the table. "If we are speaking frankly," he drawls, a hint of wry amusement lacing his voice, "I might as well note I still hold reservations to take a new Master. More so one from another world, whom I know nothing about except what she told me." He leans back, eyes narrowing at er. "I believe learning your artes would be worth my time and effort, but it's not worth letting you control my life, or my mind. Name a price for your teachings. I want a trade, not servitude."

"There's very little point in not speaking frankly, in this situation," Raine says bluntly. She tilts her head a little to the side. "If you're concerned about my background or character, you're capable of asking around about me on your own recognizance-- Sheena Fujibayashi may be helpful, as she's the only other person here from my world. I'm happy to answer questions within reason, as well, but if you can't trust me, then that will be of very little service."

She doesn't have the patience right now for careful games of speech, either. Servitude concerns her, but she supposes it shouldn't be surprising, coming from someone who referenced 'Supreme Leader Snoke' without a trace of irony or distaste.

Better, Raine thinks, to make some things plain right now. "Control is not what a teacher does," she informs him, frowning slightly. "I have no interest in controlling you, except inasmuch as it comes to making sure you practice self-control. I'll likely assign homework, which I expect at least an attempt at completing, as it will supplement your learning. I'll teach you about mana, and how to use healing artes; anything further is up for debate. In exchange..."

She considers for a few moments, then holds up two fingers, illustrative. "Two things. First, once you're capable of using healing artes, I'd like you to put in some time at the Guild healing, especially when we're shorthanded. It will give you practice. Second, and more immediately applicable, I want you to seriously experiment with using strong emotions other than anger. Are those acceptable conditions?"

He listens to her without interrupting, though Kylo feels like protesting when she tells him that a teacher doesn't control. He would beg to differ, experience has taught him otherwise, but telling her so would give away more about his past than he wishes to share.

It isn't surprising that she voices conditions, but the exact payment she demands dumbfounds him anyway. "You do realize that I don't have anything resembling a bedside manner, don't you?" he points out, brows arched. "I'm not saying it's unreasonable that you would have me work as a healer when I'm apprentice to a healer in the healing arts, but..." He grimaces. Well, when he puts it like that, there's no but. "I'll do it, just don't expect me to be particularly... cuddly." He'll try not to terrify the patients, that's the best he can do.

He regards Raine with some suspicion. "I'm not sure what you're hoping to achieve with having me experiment with the Force. I understand you're curious, but I don't know what there is to be gained from it." Yet if she wants him to experiment with the Force for her, he can't exactly refuse. "But it's an acceptable condition, as long as this means I owe you nothing else."

Kylo picks up his cup of tea, takes a sip. "And you can be sure I'll ask Sheena some questions about you. I didn't realize you know another."

She'd be happier if he did protest, honestly. That way she could establish what misconceptions he does have, and address them.

But there are more immediately pertinent matters to hand, and Raine's sure the chance to address those issues will arise as they go. "Then you can consider that something else to learn," she says, implacable. "You don't need to be solicitous, but patient will do. If nothing else, it will help your self-control." At least he doesn't argue the reasonability of it.

The suspicion is met only with a raised eyebrow. "Knowledge," she says. It's true enough, though incomplete; she thinks it's likely to benefit Kylo, as well, to learn to work with things besides anger. "I want to understand what I can of the Force, and how it affects both people and the world. Through that, I think, I can understand the nature of this world better."

She holds her own teacup between her hands, tapping her fingers against it idly. "It's likely Sheena's viewpoint will be somewhat biased, since we're friends," she adds, in the interests of disclosure. "However, we've known each other the longest." Discounting those people who are no longer here, and whom she is not thinking about.

So they were friends. That was good to know, if only so he wouldn't be complaining to either one about the other. "There's a certain irony to it, that two of the people I'll be seeing the most of are friends," he remarked idly, "it's easy to forget how small our community is." There were still so many foreigners he'd never spoken to, and yet theirs was a small world.

To Kylo, it served as another reminder that he couldn't afford even the slightest misstep. If only one person knew too much, the information would spread like wildfire. He had to stifle a wince as he recalled asking Sheena whether she was an interrogator. If she ever mentioned it to Raine... Yes, he had to be even more careful than he had been so far.

"I'll teach you what I can of the Force. I'm a teacher myself, of a sorts, I trained the other Knights in my order, and I'm hoping to win other Force sensitives as recruits here. Sharing my knowledge with you will be no problem." Especially as it would remove them somewhat from the traditional master-apprentice power dynamics, anything that did that would be welcome to him. "I've never before done theoretical teachings, though. The Knights of Ren have no interest in academic studies, only in practical application of the Force."

Kylo's lips twitched. "But I suppose you're going to tell me I should take that as another lesson in patience." Which, honestly, he knew he needed. Even Darth Vader had told him he needed to control his temper.

"There were many more of us, when fighting Malicant was a priority. Now..." Raine's mouth quirks into something that might be a rueful smile, certainly absent any real mirth. "I know most Foreigners by sight." And more of them disappear every day. She's lost too many friends.

There's another few taps of her fingers before she consciously stills her hands, and takes a sip of tea. "Whereas theory is primarily what I'm interested in," she says when she sets her cup down again. "Hm. Well, whatever you can convey will be useful." The more the better, of course, but perhaps other of the Force-users on the turtle will be more helpful on that front.

"Yes," she answers, wry, when he correctly predicts her response. "Patience is a useful skill."

"I expect I'm going to hear a lot about patience." His flashed her a wry little grin. "Just don't expect me to learn it by meditation, that has never done anything but feed my impatience to be done with it."

He put down his cup and leaned forward again, elbows propped up on the table. "Like I said, I will try to teach you the theories of the Force, though I can make no promises for quality. I did receive formal education..." He grimaces. "But that was a very long time ago." And not a time of his life he wishes to revisit, or has been thinking about often these past years. "We'll see what I remember of it. Ever since I joined Supreme Leader Snoke, my training has been more... hands-on. He teaches by letting you fail and suffer for your failure, till you are sufficiently motivated to succeed."

Kylo wonders what hers will be like. Being a Healer, it's hard to imagine her teaching with pain and violence, though... Who know. If he were teaching healing, he would consider it valid to injure his student, and thus force them to heal themselves, or suffer.

"No," Raine said, thoughtful, "My brother is too impatient for standard meditation, as well. I planned to revisit it when he's older. In the mean time..." She wouldn't be surprised if something of the same method worked, even if Kylo Ren was a grown man. Focusing the energy through something physical. "Are you familiar with a kendama? Something like a ball-and-cup game?"

Her expression narrowed faintly before she caught it and smoothed her face out, at the mention of Supreme Leader Snoke. As far as she was concerned no one had any business setting themselves up by that title, but evidently Kylo Ren still respected him.

Raine disapproved. "There's something to be learned from failure," she said, neutrally, "and sometimes pain is part of that, but typically I find that suffering doesn't do much but cause misery." She did draw a division between the two, at least. "I'm sure part of the learning process will be... adjusting to each other."

A game... She was suggesting he learn meditation through a game. Kylo's brows furrowed as he tried to figure out if he was being mocked. But when Raine just continued to speak as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened, he felt his suspicion that she was serious was proven right.

Kylo's confused frown only deepened. His gloved fingers twitched around thin air. "Yes, there is going to be a lot of adjusting for us to do," he agreed grimly, not even trying to hide how much this discomfited him. "You are very different from Snoke. Even the short time I had with Darth Vader here in Keeliai..." He fiddled with his half-empty cup. "It's going to be... interesting..."

Possibly in all the most terrible ways, if too much of her training reminded him of his time as a Jedi. "But I've dedicated myself to this path, and I don't shy away from training because it is hard." He sighed audibly. "If this is what you want me to do, I will try this game." Even if he had to grit his teeth. This was not the training a Dark Jedi had in mind.

She was entirely suggesting he learn meditation through a game. "It's an exercise in physical coordination," she explained calmly, not so much ignoring as not reacting to his obvious doubts. "One I've known even experienced swordsmen to have difficulty with. It requires focus and rhythm, and the rhythm becomes effectively meditative, eliminating some of the drawbacks of trying simply to sit and focus. I think Genis left one here; it will have some beneficial attributes, as well. Or I can have one made."

Either would work. And certainly there were other options for physical focusing exercises, but this was the one with which Raine was most familiar, and would have the easiest time teaching. They were already going to be fumbling with the student-teacher relationship; there was no need to add more complication if it was unnecessary.

"Good," said Raine, to everything else. She meant to be different, to challenge his pre-existing paradigms, which as ever faintly concerned her. "I appreciate your dedication. When does your work here leave you free?"

Have one made. That stuck with Kylo, driving home how serious she was about this. Both teaching him with this game, and just... all around teaching him. Making this really feel like the proper commitment it was. The entire arrangement still felt kind of surreal, though not quite as bizarre as studying with his long-dead grandfather had been. And a part of him couldn't believe he was actually going to do this.

If the Supreme Leader ever learned he had sought out not one, but two masters beside him... He shuddered to think of the consequences.

"Thank you, it's very kind that you would arrange for me to get this... exercise equipment," he said stiffly. Retreating into ages-old politeness seemed like the safest bet when he didn't know how to proceed.

He was so glad that he had the tea cup to cling to. "I think mornings would be best to be at your disposal. I usually work in the afternoons or evenings, this being a tea house." Kylo regarded her thoughtfully for another moment. "But I will arrange my schedule according to yours, if necessary." He inhaled deeply. "This is quite awkward, isn't it? I never thought... It'll take getting used to," he muttered, though they had both said that often enough already.

It sounded like he might as well be signing up for torture. Honestly. Homework and kendama exercises were not that bad a fate.

"It's my responsibility as your teacher to ensure you have the tools to succeed," Raine said simply. The difference in philosophies with his other teacher would be made plain from the start. "Mornings will do. A few days a week you can meet me at the Guild; it's safe to practice there, and I'm there early in any case."

Of course it would take getting used to, since they didn't know each other well, but awkward? Raine frowned a little, not quite seeing why it would be. "Because you're accustomed to a very different style of teaching?"

"Very different," Kylo Ren confirmed emphatically. He thought about it again, reconsidering just how much he should share. On the Dark Side of the Force you couldn't trust your Master, and certainly were not expected to love them, and yet he felt discomfited with the sheer amount of lies and lies by omission he had woven. It had to be that cursed old Jedi training still infecting the back of his mind, awoken now by Raine's far more Jedi-like training methods.

"We are harsh taskmasters," he said tentatively, "Dark Side training is best fueled by rage, pain and hate. The training methods... reflect that." He poured himself some more tea. Let her make of that what she wanted. But he kept watching her out of the corner of his eyes, and tried to sense for her mood.

She certainly wasn't pleased to hear that, and she was frowning more as she finished the rest of her tea. "I'm not unfamiliar with the concept," she said, slowly, "but it isn't useful for teaching." Not the way she did it. Intentionally causing suffering was the province of Grand Cardinals, and those who saw humans as inferior beings on a level with livestock, and Raine would not condone it as a teaching method.

She shook her head. "I find lessons stick better with a clear head," she said, firmly, "to say nothing of the moral issues. Yes; evidently your lessons with me will be very different from what you've experienced before." It would, she thought, probably be good for him.

"I have yet to see evidence that a student will be more loyal to a gentle hand than to a cruel one, or that it is more effective, but if that is how you wish to teach... It's your choice." It's not like he could force cruelty, or as if he wanted to put himself at the mercy of someone who didn't even possess the Force, let alone understood the Dark Side.

"I'll learn either way." He hesitated for another moment before adding, "I have experience with being taught both ways, though it's been a while." It would be uncomfortable to fall back into habits he had left behind him, but. He clenched his jaw with determination. He could do it. He'd faced his path in more gruesome ways than that to gain power.

"There's a difference between true loyalty and the fear of reprisal," Raine said, still frowning slightly. If he viewed her as soft-hearted, so be it. They could deal with the finer points of being soft versus being a decent person later. Kylo was going to be more of a project than she had thought initially.

Good. She could use the occupation for her mind.

"Ideally," she added, "I will be able to ascertain what method of learning works best for you with some trial and error; however, I doubt I'll ever be convinced of the utility of causing suffering as a teaching tool."

"And I doubt I will ever be convinced that your Jedi-like ways are stronger than those employed on the Dark Side," Kylo admitted frankly. For all the oddness, he felt better now knowing where they stood, more secure even in his new role as undefined as it remained for now. He had always known what he was to Snoke, but to Raine... Only time would tell, her mindset was too alien to guess.

"But while we agree to disagree we can still work together, and I am eager to learn from you." He arched his brows, a quizzical note to it. "Who knows, maybe you'll surprise me and I end up owing my true loyalty to you." It was a mere joke to him, and yet, four months ago he would have laughed at apprenticing himself to a healer. It was a disconcerting thought.

Hm. Raine would see about that. But she said nothing to that effect aloud, only inclined her head slightly, as though in mute acknowledgment.

"I'm sure we'll both be able to learn from our differences," she said at length, diplomatic. She did, after all, want to learn about the Force from him, even if they disagreed -- apparently significantly -- in methodology. "Do you have any other questions?"

He shook his head. "Nothing right now. I'm sure there will be many questions but... None that come to mind now." He put his empty tea cup back on the tray, though strictly speaking his shift was over. "Call me if there's a change in schedule, otherwise I'll see you tomorrow morning."

Kylo stood up, eager now to get out of here and move, practice forms with his lightsaber or even just take a walk... Just be in motion while he tried to process everything they had talked about.

Raine nodded agreement. "I'm at the Guild much of the time, now, so if you do have questions I'm not difficult to find. I'll let you know if anything changes, but I don't anticipate that it should."

If something did change, it would be the unexpected. In a moment, Raine finished her tea and stood. "Until then," she said, inclining her head briefly, and turned to go.

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so long as you come home at the end of the day [July, catchall, open]

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