tushanshu_logs | I don't Wanna Battle from Beginning to End

Entry tags:

I don't Wanna Battle from Beginning to End

Characters: Valdis and Open
Date: Month of November
Location: Various
Situation: Various
Warnings/Rating: In headers

It felt like the walls were closing in. As if the sporadic mixing of the planes meant that the end was near. Valdis supposed it wasn’t strange for her to be there at the end, she’d just hoped she would find an end before everyone else did. There was nothing she could do to stop it, all she could do was live until it was over, one way or another.

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"The cultists, perhaps." A faint crimp in Raine's mouth. She shook her head, followed Valdis's glance around and then eyed the path ahead once more. "I... wasn't entirely aware one of your ghosts was your father. I know more than one person has encountered parental figures as ghosts."

And it was rather personal; but then again, making sure of Valdis's emotional stability might override the consideration of privacy.

"Considering the result was the death of their God, I still doubt they want a repeat."

Valdis continued to lead the way to the tea shop. Just around the next corner if memory served correctly.

"His visit wasn't exactly a pleasant one," she commented, relieved when the small shop actually was around the next turn, "Though considering he died by my hand, that's not surprising."

"Perhaps to change the past; but I think we should all prefer that chapter stayed closed."

It was for the best things like Malicant didn't appear to leave ghosts.

Raine perhaps should have been more surprised by the report of Valdis's father's death. She hesitated over a step, blinked slowly, and focused on where the shop was. She should have guessed something of the sort for Valdis's past, but she wondered... what sort of a death it had been.

In any case, it wasn't one she could change now. "Are you sure you're all right?" she asked instead.

"Devin stitched me up," she said, pretending to not catch what Raine was really asking about. The woman seemed surprised over the information, yet resigned to the fact that Valdis' history was filled with blood.

She walked inside the small shop to grab a table in the corner, where she could see the single entrance.

"What about you?"

"I wasn't concerned for your healing ability." As far as reprimands from Raine went, it was gentle. She trailed Valdis to the corner table, sitting and taking care about how she leaned her staff.

The query earned another faint grimace. "Only one ghost of note; but that was enough. I... hadn't thought I'd see my father's ghost, given that I don't remember him."

Considering that the weapon used was her own blade, it had definitely been a concern for her, but Valdis didn't see fit to inform Raine of that information. She leaned her elbows on the table.

"To be fair, the only thing I actually remember of my father is his death, and I didn't even remember he was my father at the time. It seems that the Death Plane is bringing back ghosts from a past that didn't matter."

She regarded Raine thoughtfully, "Was it a cordial meeting?"

"My father died of a fever," Raine said abruptly, surprising herself with the fact that the words were coming out of her. "Delirious. And I was eleven, at the time. He didn't know me, at first, nor did I remember him. So-- cordial. Eventually." It was stilted and awkward and the most personal she'd been with someone in some time. Especially someone who wasn't Kratos or Pepper.

She shook herself, and consciously didn't fold her arms. "But that past mattered. If I may-- what impact did your father's actions have? A significant one, even if you didn't remember?"

"I'm sorry," Valdis replied, her tone soft, "I didn't mean it like that."

She shifted in her chair to cross one leg over the other, "I don't remember anything of my life before becoming a Hound. So my only memories of my father are from when he first tried to kill me, when I encountered him during my Shadow Test, and a few nights ago when he tried to kill me again." She tipped her head, "He may have loved me once, before I lost my soul, but now he only considers me monster that must be destroyed. I'm not sure there's any coming back from that."

"I took no offense." Raine was mindful, too, that she ought to talk of these things more-- or at least think of them more, instead of pressing them away where she never thought of them.

All the same, she had rather deal with Valdis's emotional problems than her own right now.

"...perhaps there isn't," she admitted finally. It was difficult to look at such a thing and have anything resembling Lloyd's unbridled optimism. Raine didn't try very hard, in fairness. "I'm sorry. It can't be easy."

Valdis shrugged, "As I said, I don't remember him as my father, only as my enemy, so it's not as if it hurts my feelings."

The waiter came over and set down menus, briefly mentioned the specials and then went to pick up another order, giving them time to deliberate. Valdis didn't even look at the menu, her gaze staying on Raine.

"Would you tell me about your family?"

It was an admirable level of equanimity to come to with a missing past. Raine wondered about the health of it; but she herself was no model for dealing with lost memories of family.

She paid polite attention to the waiter, and was looking at the menu studiously when Valdis asked again. Her eyes flicked up, bemused but not entirely surprised. “You met my brother, I think,” Raine said, thoughtful. “I suppose I haven’t mentioned— I suffer from a form of trauma-based retrograde amnesia. I don’t remember much from before I was eleven.”

She said it evenly, briskly— trying to make herself remote from the emotions, and put the facts out there simply and quickly. It worked, to an extent.

"Yes, Genis," Valdis picked up the menu and skimmed it, "I don't think he liked me much."

Not that she blamed him, she and Raine hadn't exactly been the best of friends at the time. Her gaze returned to Raine, concern flitting through her eyes.

"I'm sorry, I had no idea."

She wished she had spent more time getting to know all the people she lived with, but this particular fact seemed like something Raine rarely shared. The two of them seemed to ave more in common with each passing day.

There was a quiet, wry smile. "Genis doesn't like many people, when he first meets them, and your mana does feel a little strange."

Raine missed him, that much was obvious. It was easier, missing Genis, knowing he would be waiting for her when she went home.

At Valdis's apology, Raine simply shook her head. "It's fine. I've... more or less come to terms with it. It simply means there isn't much I can tell you about the family to which I was born, and you've met most of those I would call family by other means since then."

"That's reassuring." Valdis smiled, recalling everyone that Raine considered family. She still didn't understand the healer's taste in men, but at least she knew better than to actually say it out loud.

"It seems we've both found family here. Something I never thought I would have, it's been nice."

"It's more than I ever expected." This was soft, not entirely to Valdis but aloud nevertheless.

Family. Raine had it, even if many of them had returned home.

She set her menu down to signify she was ready to order, and tilted her head slightly at Valdis. "Perhaps it's my imagination, but you sound a little bit final on the topic. Is everything all right?"

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I don't Wanna Battle from Beginning to End

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