tushanshu_logs | ( closed )

[So, there's quite an abundance of superheroes on the turtle now, ones of the green variety. Two versions of one of them, and still no sign of hers. Is it starting to irritate her? Maybe just a little, but she tries not to let it show. Besides, Shayera had more important things to worry about right now, one of whom involved green and just happened to be at her apartment right now.

And she thinks they're way overdue for a talk about certain things that got put on hold between bad timing when they came up, and a giant party. And Shayera Hol is not one to let things go. So that's why, when it seems like an opportune moment, she's coming up to Kyle, serious and ready for what's to come.] Kyle. We need to talk.

[Shayera's irritation, no matter how much she hides it, is always obvious to him. He's in tune with her emotions, and above all, he knows loneliness. He'd been here a month before Sora showed up and while it didn't make everything easier, there was still the joy of knowing at least someone was there.]

[Her overall mood combined with those words? Couldn't mean anything good. He looks up from where he is: flopped on the floor, just stretching his limbs out and making an imaginary snow angel.]

Sure, what's up?

[Said casually, but he's nervous.]

[If there's one thing Shayera can do, it's be blunt. She never dances around a subject, always charges in head first on any matter. And this definitely wasn't something she wanted to dance around. She takes a seat next to him, legs crossed,face straight and focused as it can be.] It's about what happened in Sinbrilee, when you helped me. More specifically, what happened with you.

[It's not exactly her place to pry, even if she is family. She usually just lets people keep to themselves, but this is different. They saw too much of each other not to pry.]

[Blunt's good. Very good, in fact, when one considers Kyle's typical avoidance of heavy subjects. Thinking she means seeing Parallax, he frowns.]

I thought we already talked about this...?

I meant when you helped me in the death plane. [She still kicks herself for being weak, even if there wasn't much she could have done to stop it. But this? This is something she can help Kyle with, and dammit she's going to.] You didn't want to talk about things there, and we're not now, so we're going to talk about it.

[He sits up. Great. Well, she'd said they were going to discuss it eventually, he'd just resisted doing it there and then when her mind was still shaping the Death realm.]

O-kay.

[He braces for impact.]

[She doesn't waist a second jumping right into the issues at hand. He's not resisting, and that's good. But she probably would've made him talk even if he did.] You saved me. And you did something probably no one else would have the strength to do, and I think I know why.

[She definitely knows why. She loathed, hated, disgusted herself for the longest time before getting over herself.] So believe me when I say you're not worthless.

[The stoic mask on his face dissolves as he listens, softens to care and concern. He'd been worried sick - seeing her in the cage, it had done something, snapped him. Pushed him towards decisiveness. Destruction.]

[Her words are just a buildup, brick by brick, and he can't see where she's going with this yet. So he nods. Lets her continue.]

[It's hard. Talking to people about problems like this, she's not used to it. It's confusing and challenging and often times, a huge mess. She wishes there was a way to word her feelings perfectly, but for now, she has to settle for stumbling over them.] Look, I could tell. That when you burned that fake you, it wasn't just for me. It was for yourself. A lot of it was, I bet. I've been where you are, that sickening feeling that you're just not good enough. No matter what you do, it won't make up for what you've done.

[No. This isn't about her. This is about him. She shakes her head to snap herself out of it.] But I'm not going to pretend I know exactly what you feel, because it's probably different in some way. But that doesn't mean I don't hate you hating yourself. I love you, Kyle, okay? If not for you, I'd be hating this place more than hell, and trust me, I've been there. I'd be a mess, a total wreck, a lot of things without you. Don't sell yourself short.

[Stumbling, that's the word. Walking on a minefield, blindfolded, hoping it'll all turn out for the best, when it's all just a ticking time bomb. It was true, that he hadn't ripped apart the fake just because it hurt her, but because it looked, and walked, and spoke like him. He tried, but the truth was, he didn't like himself very much, and everyone else? Did. It was an utter mystery.]

[A butterfly never can see its own wings.]

[He exhales.]

Nothing he - it - said was true. You know that, right?

[Love. Why does he have such a fucking hard time just taking when it's offered like that? (Not good enough. Never good enough.)]

I know. [She's always known. Her own mind tends to beat up on her more than everyone else does, and that same part of herself rejects it. It's like she's got her own little internal war to deal with. She fidgets with her fingers a little before answering him.] Here's my question. Do you know that?

[Shayera's not about to forget how it insulted him, too, pushed all the wrong buttons, angered him in just the wrong ways. Made him go that extra little bit further and release everything that was pent up before.]

[He looks up at her, raw, wounded. Eyes like a hunted animal.]

I'm not sure.

[It was him, and he'd never shied away from his own darkness.]

[She expected that. No one really knows what to think when their darkest side actually talks back to them.] Then I'll tell you what I know.

[She pokes a finger against his chest and keeps it there, for emphasis.] When I look at you, I don't see a coward or a kid playing hero. I see someone who's gone through enough crap to completely shatter a person, yet still fights back despite all the darkness. I see a real hero.

[What do you know? he wants to shout back, angry, vicious. None of you know anything about what I've done or what I deserve.]

[Except. She'd said the same thing to him, when he tried to tell her, and it's that which makes him reach over and squeeze her hand, desperate to draw on her strength.]

You mean that.

[He's shaking.]

[She'd have punched him if he yelled anything back. She was almost prepared to. Fighting for people who can't fight for themselves. It's not always about fighting. It's about giving them strength, being strong for others. Kyle can take all the strength he wants from her, she's giving it to him. Placing her hand above his should speak volumes enough.] Of course I do.

[Just a few words, stated as though it was one of the most obvious facts in the universe. They've both done things they're not proud of, and Shayera's not going to turn him away for anything.]

[He doesn't fight for himself, not unless he's pushed to that point. He never cared that much about his own well-being. Physician, heal thyself indeed.]

I don't... understand why. [A small, sad smile.] Then again, you probably don't understand why I think that about you, huh?

It's love, Kyle. Sometimes you just don't understand it. [She thinks back to the conversation with Aquaman. About faith in what you believe in. She might not believe in gods, but she has faith in Kyle above all else.]

[He hugs her, tightly.]

I think the universe might break if we did.

[Trying to joke...]

[She embraces him in return, a gentle hand rubbing his back.] It probably would. So don't try to figure it out, just take it.

[And she'll take his love in return.]

[Quietly:] That's... difficult for me.

I'm going to keep offering it until you take it. [So start learning.]

Your arm will get tired.

In case you haven't noticed, I've got strong arms. [Look, she'll prove it right now, she's picking him up.] Try me.

[FLAILING OMG THAT WAS SUPER UNEXPECTED WHAT DO]

Okay! Okay! Not trying you! Jeez, woman!

[Wow, calm your shit, Kyle, she's putting you down.] I'm not planning on this being fixed overnight. But you better work at it. If you ever need anything, I don't care where I am or what time it is, come find me.

OKAY APPARENTLY NOW IT'S AFTER MOVIE!HAL SHOWED UP

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