[Open]

[alphatar]

Characters: Korra, Finnick, Po, Bean, Dinah, Tony Stark (616), Amon, Sabriel, Jim Kirk, Damian, Toph, Lin, Jack Frost, Raimei, Enjolras, Kyle Rayner, Bruce Banner, Asbel, Aisha, Katniss, Iskierka, Richard, and OPEN (That means YOU.)
Date: Various dates throughout July when not conflicting with Korra’s time during the clueventure.
Location: Korra’s suite, Various locations
Situation: Fish, Training, Flying, and whatever else happens!
Warnings/Rating: Physical violence, PTSD, NPC death, blood, FEELS, maybe even some swearing.

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Closed, action;

[dustonmyfeet]

[Apparently Toph isn't quite as asleep as Korra had thought -- or, given that she currently relies on her hearing, she's easily roused.]

[In only case, it only takes a few minutes before the door to the meditation room slides open again and quiet, bare feet pad across the floor. Toph drops down not far from Korra, cross-legged, hands tucked into the the folds of her legs.]

Hey. [The word is quiet -- but for the moment there's only that one. It's a mark that Toph is here, the darkness stretching between them.]

[alphatar]

[Laying on the large cushion, arms cradling each other tightly against herself was Korra and she was sobbing quietly. Tears practically falling from the corners of her eyes as she whispered her apologies at first to names of the members of her teammates, then just 'I'm sorry' over and over. Her throat being stabbed by the emptiness filling her gut.

When the door was slid open, Korra's eyes were shut and she was in the middle of gagging on a word the word forced her stinging eyes opened. She had assumed Toph was sound asleep when she got back from the field mission assigned by Evandau.

Trying in vain to stop from crying, it only constricted her breathing further and widening that lump in her throat that made her words practically inaudible.]

I didn't mean to wake you.

[Korra shifted, clumsily into a sitting position and looked at Toph, her mouth twitching and trembling in every direction as tears rolled down her cheeks.]

[dustonmyfeet]

'S fine. [Toph, for her turn, doesn't move, doesn't change the direction of her eyes. She can't see Korra's tears, but she knows they're there -- has heard a lot of it. Her voice stays quiet, even.]

What happened?

[alphatar]

[That question forces a strong raspy exhale out of Korra. She was hoping that she could just fall asleep, forget everything, wake up to the morning and simply act like nothing happened. Something to, hopefully, never speak of again.

But denying Toph that wasn't something Korra could normally do, and it was utterly impossible right now with how she was feeling. Especially since Korra had been gone for weeks and she sorely missed Toph's company. Trying to steady her shaky breathing proved futile and Korra just started talking, her voice as uneven as her lips.]

We had to go out to a place called the Quarry, there were kedan that were going to kill each other. But we were-

I couldn't- so they all-

[Wiping her eyes with back of her hand wasn't having much effect before her voice just completely broke and jagged thrusts of indeterminable verbal emotion forced itself from her stomach and lungs.]

[dustonmyfeet]

[Emotions aren't completely easy for Toph. She was an only child, so there were no siblings to react to -- and certainly her parents didn't share their more complicated emotions with her. Exposure to working with other people's emotions came more from being around Aang, Katara, and Sokka, forcing her to both moderate her own and, on occasion, attempt to deal with theirs.]

[Normally she would feel like she should do something practical. When Aang was freaking out about facing the Fire Lord, she offered concrete solutions. Rock massage. Acupuncture. Things that were easy and involved her expertise.]

[It didn't feel like a concrete solution would work here, though. This didn't seem as simple as punching a punching bag or screaming into a pillow. This was delicate. Complicated. Suddenly she wished she'd listened to Katara more on this sort of thing.]

[Yet, as much as her own discomfort rose, it felt absolutely important, absolutely vital that she sit there then, confront what was in front of her.]

[It was one more challenge that she had to take head on.]

All . . . what?

[She has the feeling she knows the answer -- and isn't going to like it. A hand reaches out, brushes against Korra's forearm, then grasps gently.]

Hey . . . slow down.

[alphatar]

[As soon as Korra feels Toph’s hand, she reaches to grab her wrist. Not hard at all, in fact it’s the softest she’s ever touched anyone since arriving on Tu Vishan. With a gentle tug, Korra motions to pull Toph into a tight hug. It was unfair, Korra knew Toph was like her element. Strong, independent, and aloof. But it was impossible for her to not to seek consolation from her, not after something that devastating had jarred her mental well being.

Her words are breathy, shaky, and warbling in pitch as she does her best to speak clearly.]

There was a fight, two groups of kedan. I wanted to stop them, but two members of our team were already injured. So it was just me, Iskierka, and Ariadne. But if we left Raimei and Amelia to do that, then they could have been killed too. So we stayed. We hid.

They killed each other. All of them, and I couldn’t stop them. I’m the Avatar, I’m supposed to stop them. But I didn’t have my bending, I couldn’t leave our team. We had to do nothing. Just watch.

[The knot in her throat starts to constrict her breathing again.]

I couldn’t save anyone, I couldn’t do what I was supposed to do.

[dustonmyfeet]

[Toph's eyes widen sharply over Korra's shoulder. Hugged. She was being hugged. She'd been hugged by her parents before -- even occasionally by servants. Aang and the others too, during moments of happiness or mutual support. But never had anyone just hugged her out of the blue, pulled her to them like they were drowning. It startles her; her mind swims, pushed out into the water where she is blind.]

[For a few moments it's probably rather like holding a rock -- stiff, not at all soft. Then, slowly, her muscles ease. One arm loops under and then over Korra's shoulder, her hand lightly, uncertainly stroking the hair at the side of Korra's head. Her own mother used to do that when she was little, when Toph was sick . . . she remembers closing her eyes to it, feeling safe. Maybe somehow here, it will help too.]

[It takes another moment to absorb the words. She doesn't even know all the people Korra is talking about. The Avatar is still like a flood, the torrent of words and emotions rushing outward.]

You can't always . . . [She bites herself off, struggling against a surging sense of her own ineptitude.] Nobody could do what were supposed to do. We don't have any powers.

[alphatar]

[There is never a time Korra doesn't simply give her all into something. That includes the decision her team had to make and the feeling of failing all of what Korra felt the Avatar should be, no matter the circumstances. Trying to project that onto Toph did leave Korra with a sense of guilt, the earthbender was still only thirteen years old and the kind of consolation Korra needed was usually provided by an adult.

After Toph says that simple truth, Korra sobs into Toph's hair. Trying to speak had become too difficult, instead Korra just held Toph to her and focused on the strokes Toph offered as physical comfort. It took quite some time before her shuddering breaths allowed her to speak.]

I want my bending back.

[It felt childish, but Korra was sure Toph wouldn't hold that against her.]

[dustonmyfeet]

Yeah.

[It's a word of complete understanding, not judgment. After this experience, Toph knows what it is to feel worthless. Hollow. Gnawing, biting fear that she'll be left this way, never be what she was both meant to be and what she's made for herself. She's seen in the past couple weeks a glimpse of the life that could have been and tasted the surge of fear that came with it. And while she hasn't experienced what Korra has experienced, isn't expected to carry the world on her shoulders . . . she knows what it is to not be supposed to fail and realize how easily you could.]

[Her arms tighten a bit, actually holding the Avatar back.]

Korra . . . we weren't supposed to ever be here. You know? You weren't . . . You shouldn't ever have had to face this.

[Korra shouldn't have had to live up to expectations that weren't ever supposed to be hers in the first place.]

[alphatar]

[Those words struck a chord, Korra withdrew so she could look at Toph. She nodded and wiped the tears that had welled together at her nose, about to drop. Her eyes stung and she managed to stem the flow tears, wiping the wetness from her eyes. Her breathing was still erratic, but a lot less so than earlier.]

I’m just so used to having to do something.

[Taking a long, deep breath, Korra put her hands on Toph’s shoulders.]

Thanks. I didn’t mean to wake you Toph. You should go back to bed. I’ll stay here. I think I’ll be okay.

[She was lying and it felt wrong to do so, but Korra didn’t want to worry her friend anymore than she already had. The fact that she chose the meditation room of all places was a sign of that.]

[dustonmyfeet]

[Even without her bending, Toph could sense that one was a lie. No one got over something like that with a few words.]

. . . You know, if you really want me to go, that's fine. [Sometimes people needed their alone space. Toph certainly did. Her own venue of choice was an earth tent, cut off from the rest of the world.]

But if you're just telling me to go because . . . whatever, then . . . don't worry about it. [Korra could probably feel her shoulders lift in a shrug.] You said this place was pretty good for a nap, so scoot over and I'll stay.

[alphatar]

[Korra let out a ghost of a laugh at Toph’s words and caught her breath. The earthbender cut quick and to the point. Nodding, Korra let out a raspy] Okay. And scooted over to make room. Company was what the Avatar needed, especially since there had always been someone for her turn to for it her entire life. Words weren’t working too well for Korra and she was exhausted, but her mind was refusing to let her body to relax.]

I didn’t bring any blankets. [She croaked, warning her so as not to inconvenience Toph anymore than she felt she had already done.]

[dustonmyfeet]

It's fine. [Korra might notice that Toph had turned up the thermostat just a little. As the Avatar scooted over, Toph scooted in on the pillow too, finding a comfortable spot on her side.] Used to outside, remember? But I know where the blankets are if I want one.

Did you want one?

[alphatar]

No, I’m okay.

[Korra’s originally plan was to just pass out and hopefully wake up before Toph did. In her state, she hadn’t even noticed the temperature, but now that Toph brought it up she could feel the difference. Laying on her side as well, Korra looked at her friend and took another deep breath, it was much more even now.]

Thanks Toph.

[Whether or not she understood how much it meant to her to do this, Korra was really grateful. It was a rare time when the young Avatar would need to pour that much of their stress onto someone else.]

[dustonmyfeet]

[Toph wouldn't probably give all she had to everyone, either. But friends -- Korra included -- were important . . . and especially in this place, absolutely vital.]

Sure. [Toph listened to the release of breath and heard what it signified. Without even thinking about it, she echoed it, settling in, smiling faintly into the darkness.]

[alphatar]

[Still feeling a slight knot in her stomach, Korra reached out to put her arm around Toph and pulled her into a hug. Putting her head down so her nose was just shy of being tickled by her hair, Korra closed her eyes. The sound of her breathing calmly lulled her into a sleep she desperately needed.]