memoriesinsmoke: (distracted)
Liz Sherman ([personal profile] memoriesinsmoke) wrote in [community profile] tushanshu_logs2012-09-22 08:13 pm

(no subject)

Characters: Liz Sherman and Hellboy
Location: Hellboy's suite in the Earth Sector
Situation: Hanging out with some bad feelings and booze after a brief chat.
Warnings/Rating: PG, probably. Will warn if things change.

Hellboy is in a bad mood, but nothing about that is new. However, they're both in the same place for the first time in years, and while it's not necessarily new, it's definitely odd. It's been so long, and Liz is still working on getting used to having Hellboy around, again.

It felt like she had spent so much time getting used to not having him around, and then this happens. She'd probably find it funny, if it weren't so sad.

Either way, odd as this is, they're old friends. As far as she's concerned, friends should be there for one another... which exactly why she shows up at the door to Hellboy's suite with a bottle of liquor in hand.

"Open up, H.B. It's me."
histruename: (Don't like the sound of that)

[personal profile] histruename 2012-10-05 08:04 am (UTC)(link)
"That's the plan. I can wait until she's ready to talk, sure, but the way things have been going, I know it could get pretty damn ugly."

His expression darkens, still inscrutable as ever, but something flickers in that golden fire behind his eyes.

"Not too long ago I managed to piss off just about every witch in England, and I've been getting tossed between worlds ever since. I'd be kidding myself if I thought this wasn't connected."

He doesn't regret for a minute what happened on the Sabbath, but this is war on an even more personal scale than he's ever experienced before. He has no idea what the hell he's gotten himself into.

And even worse, after six years with not so much as a letter exchanged between them, Liz has been thrown into it too. If something happens to her because of this, he'll never forgive himself.
histruename: (Rum)

[personal profile] histruename 2012-10-06 04:33 am (UTC)(link)
"Yeah."

That's really all he has to say. The small stuff doesn't bother him. It's the big stuff that gets under his skin and eats at him from the inside out. He knows he's running from things you just can't run from, but as long as he can still fight, you bet your ass he'll fight like hell. And what he can't fight? Well... he has his own way of dealing with that.

Speaking of which, he'll take a deep drink from that bottle, now. He's done thinking about this crap.
histruename: (Distance)

[personal profile] histruename 2012-10-06 07:07 am (UTC)(link)
"All right."

He'll get right on that. He's not much in the mood for talking anymore, with all these thoughts about witches stirring through his head. And thoughts about witches leads to thinking about other things, and he'd rather just kill it before his mind goes any further.
histruename: (Looking)

[personal profile] histruename 2012-10-07 12:30 am (UTC)(link)
He looks up, his expression inscrutable as always. But for the very few people like Liz who know him better, there's a grim shadow cast over his features, pain hidden somewhere in that golden fire behind his eyes.

He doesn't say anything, waiting for Liz to continue her thought.
histruename: (Solemn)

[personal profile] histruename 2012-10-07 02:30 am (UTC)(link)
"Sure." He'd never forget that. How could he? That was over thirty years ago, but he remembers it like it was yesterday. She was just a poor little kid, holed up like some science project in that fireproof room. All she really needed was a friend. All she really needed was someone who wasn't afraid, and Hellboy had seen a lot of things far more terrible than a firestarting little girl.

The memory feels like yesterday, but somehow it's also like looking back on another life. So much has changed since then, and it hurts to think about the changes that have happened within himself.

It's easier to remember the old days than think of the future, get lost in the way things used to be. That's why he was staying with Harry. That's why it's both helping and killing him to have Liz here with him. She haunts him like a ghost out of old memories that never stops reminding him of how different things have become.
histruename: (Unhappy)

[personal profile] histruename 2012-10-07 06:36 am (UTC)(link)
"I don't doubt that, Liz. Not for a second." And if that's what she thinks he's upset about, well... Maybe he should clear some things up. "But it's not that."

He looks away, falling silent again. He doesn't even know where to begin.

"All my life I've never dealt with what I am. I did my job, I kept my head down, and I ignored everything else. And you know what? Life was good. I liked not knowing.

But after the thing at the Cavendish house, that old wizard had put the bug in my ear. I started sniffing around, looking for answers. And I got them. But I didn't believe it.

Not until I saw it for myself."

He raises the bottle to his lips, taking another long pull. When he speaks again, his eyes are on the floor, his voice only a low rumble.

"Now I can't get it out of my head."

That thing. That thing made out of his blood. That thing he's meant to become. It hasn't left him since the island. He sees it in his dreams, feels it crawling under his skin, and drinking seems to be the only thing he can do to fight it.

He knows he's still being vague, but he's always had a hard time letting Liz in on the full story. There were a lot of things he told Abe and Kate that he chose to keep from Liz. Mostly because he knew Liz was always dealing with heavy stuff of her own. But now, with only the two of them and everything that's changed between them, he figures he owes her at least this much.
histruename: (Brooding)

[personal profile] histruename 2012-10-07 07:51 am (UTC)(link)
He feels bad enough telling her this much, but he has to. How the hell else is he gonna explain himself? Make her think he's become some kind of drunkard by choice? No. He couldn't do that. Not to her.

"A monster. Nothing but a goddamn monster."

And it's changing him. He can feel it pushing him farther and farther away from the person he's always tried to be.
histruename: (Burden)

[personal profile] histruename 2012-10-07 01:44 pm (UTC)(link)
He just stays silent, still looking at the floor. The empty bottle hangs loosely in his hand.

He wants to believe it. He really does. And for a good chunk of his life he had himself convinced it was true, but now... Now he's not so sure anymore.
histruename: (Unhappy)

[personal profile] histruename 2012-10-09 08:23 am (UTC)(link)
The gesture takes him aback, and for a moment, all he can do is stare into her eyes. He knows she means it. Like she said, they pretty much grew up together. She's like a kid sister to him, and she'd know him better than anyone. But she has no idea what he's seen. She has no idea what he feels crawling around inside of him.

"Yeah..." His eyes trace back to the floor. He already regrets telling her. Maybe it would've been better if he just let her think he was a drunk. But if he's really honest with himself, he knows there really was no good way to go about this. He just hopes he made the right decision. And most of all, he hopes he can trust Liz not to make a big deal out of it. That's really what he needs. It's okay for people to know his secrets. After all, it's just his life, but he hates being worried over, and he hates worrying other people. Especially Liz, who's always been a little fragile, who's always had plenty of other things to worry about.