tushanshu_logs | (no subject)

"You were close enough to him to make the connection, and to feel hurt from learning it. Would you have otherwise?"

The fact that she didn't comment on the other aspect is not surprising- even on Krypton the culture there focuses on the binary when it comes to how they relate to one another; Jor-El's once friendship with Dru-Zod before they ascended in their respective guilds was an oddity because they were of different families and were to be members of different guilds.

Hayley stiffens again, though there's much less panic than previously. She feels awkward and anxious, yes, but not afraid. No one has so gently called her out so directly and it's a strange experience. It's hard to avoid direct topics and she's already learned that he's not leaving unless she orders him to.

"Me being close to him has nothing to do with him being close to me." Enjoy that teenage logic, Jor-El. "And, okay, yeah, it kind of hurt, but only because I was dumb enough to trust him in the first place."

Then she drops her eyes, suddenly finding interested in the frayed edges of a small hole in her jeans. "I learned my lesson."

He will continue to do it until she says something, in his attempt to learn.

"Closeness is rarely so one-sided," he points out.

Edited 2014-01-01 06:29 (UTC)

Hayley laughs at that, looking up to him again. It's genuinely entertaining to her how naive he can be about people sometimes. For all the logic he has, his social skills are pretty lacking. "One-sided closeness is easy. Clark lied about who he was and where he came from. The one who lies wins."

She flashes a sarcastic grin. "That's one good kid you raised there, Jor-El."

It's a low blow and she knows it, but Hayley is past caring. He's too close to her own vulnerabilities not to take advantage of his own.

Edited (introspection) 2014-01-01 06:38 (UTC)

His skills with interacting with a human adolescent are perhaps limited, but it is a matter related to a lack of familiarity with humans in general.

Even as she makes the comment about Kal-El, it is apparent how little she knows- it is a comment that on Krypton, with the knowledge she has, were it shared, would have been damning and extremely insulting. Raising one's own children was an important aspect of Kryptonian culture. Had Kal-El been taken from Lara and him for any reason, it would have raised a furor. Whispers of defective genes would have run rampant. A child raised by a different house than that of their forebears for any reason would have been pitied.

Lara's worries for sending Kal-El away was hinged on the concern that it would be much the same on the planet they sent him to, had he survived.

"You are aware I had no hand in how well he was raised. That lies with your own people." His eyes level with hers. "They raised him as their own, and well." Even as he says it, it's a completely foreign idea to him still think on, much less say aloud to someone, and likely will remain so.

"Oh-kay," she acquiesces. "So he learned his deceiving ways from humans instead of Kryptonites- er, Kryptonians or whatever. That makes sense. So you're saying that you don't have the same inclination for lying and scheming as your conniving sort-of-human son and I should trust you, right?"

Hayley rolls her eyes a little, though she seems sincere about the idea. Then she stands from her perch on the couch and heads off into the kitchen to fetch her coffee. Now that their argument is more conversational again, she's less worried about leaving him alone for a minute.

"Do you distrust your own people so much that you are willing to make such a broad statement to prove your point?"

Hayley hears him in the other room and pauses in her movements for a fraction of a second. Then she returns to pouring her coffee, eyebrows raised and voice light to match even with the increase in volume to ensure he'll hear her.

"Yeah, I do."

His people, when they had traveled through space and made contact with other species, had been largely distrustful of them and were self assured of their superiority. To apply such a mindset to include one's own species seemed overly cynical. While he and Lara had hid her pregnancy with Kal-El, Jor-El had been open and vocal about the changes he thought their society needed to make to preserve themselves.

"Perhaps that is a matter that you should take into consideration first."

She thinks on his words for a moment, realizes what he means, and scoffs. Hayley returns into the living room with her mug of steaming coffee, setting it on the table to be forgotten for the moment. Taking up her seat on the arm of the couch again, she looks at him.

"I'm not saying there aren't good people. There are. Lots of them. But there are bad people too and it's better to assume the worst than to get.. well, killed or whatever." Although she acts like the mention of murder is off the top of her head, it's very deliberate.

"I can't help it that Clark turned out to be one of the liars."

"So you choose to assume the worst rather than hope for the best?" He steps forward, closing the distance between them until he is nearer, but not invading the outer boundary of her personal space.

"You say he is a liar, but have you yourself been fully forthcoming with regards to your actions?" Kal-El's explanation of Kryptonite and his current state made it clear that he would not willingly expose himself to the rock in any quantity.

"I mean, yeah," she replies immediately, as if assuming the worst is the most obvious answer in the world. His movement towards her surprises her a little, which registers on her expression, but she's not afraid. Hayley knows, without question, that if he wanted to hurt her, he would have done it by now. And she can handle anything else.

To the latter, she's less certain in her response. "Obviously I have. Is there something you feel like I left out? Because you can just ask."

Because she's been so honest and forthcoming thus far. Hayley knows it's a ridiculous request, but she's not about to admit to her own feelings and she still hasn't entirely figured out how she feels anyway.

With her sitting and his still standing, it weighs the discussion in her favor, if only in lending her a sense of security with the difference in position. Closing the distance between them limits that.

"If you have been, and you place such an importance on truth, then why did you choose to use deceit to attack him?" There is no suggestion of judgment in his tone as he asks the question.

Hayley frowns at the question. The answer seems so obvious that she can't help but suspect it's a trap. Why does he want to know the details of how she did it or whether deceit was involved.

"It's not like I could call him over and say, 'Hey Superman, I'm going to attack you now, so stay there, okay?' You and I both know he's way too fucking powerful for that." She tempers her frustration as it surfaces, voice mostly level. "I attacked him the only way I knew how. I never said that was honest. But I have no reason to lie to you about what I did. It's over and Clark's pissed and.. whatever, that's how it's going to be. I don't really get why you're still here expecting a different answer."

"Then you are allowing that under certain circumstances a measure of deceit is permissible." As he says it, there is the subtlest tilt to his head as he watches her.

"I appreciate that you have been forthcoming, Hayley." Including on things that he will need time to think on, and will need a better understanding of humanity to fully unravel. "Even if he is displeased now, it does not mean that he will remain that way in the future."

"No!" She huffs. "It's like that whole thing of like 'if someone killed your spouse, wouldn't you want to kill them?' And they think it's a trap because most people will say yes, but the whole point is that if I killed them, then I would expect to be arrested for murder. Like, yeah I deceived him, but that doesn't mean it was right. I'm accepting the consequences for my actions. He should too."

To the latter, Hayley rolls her eyes. "As if. If Clark forgives me for attacking him then he's as naive as he thought I was before all of this."

"There is little wrong with hoping for the better, when it gives you something to endeavor for and stride towards." He says it with all earnestness- it is something he truly believes, for one, and while he may have little understanding of the human adolescent mind, he is aware that if it comes off as anything else it will be less impressive than even the naive behavior Hayley believes Kal-El to display.

"Those consequences would be suffering from suffering from a minor bout of acute radiation poisoning." The gentle tone of voice is nearly contrary to his words. "But the specific actions on his part that led to those consequences?"

"Sure, he can hope all he wants, but that doesn't mean I'm going to suddenly change my mind and worship him."

Hayley resists huffing again. Instead, she turns her attention to her coffee and retrieves the cup to grab a sip. The action forces her to breathe and to think, trying to suppress her anger again. She sighs as she returns the cup to the table. "I didn't know he would get radiation poisoning. The attack was supposed to be the consequence. And I already told you what he did. Believe me or don't, but stop asking."

Whatever else may be the problem, she was still clearminded enough- and still on the defensive- that asking further would have to be dropped for the time being.

"It is a dangerous substance. I am not sure what you were expecting the result to be, if not that." And yet, if given the opportunity, he would readily study the material. Its particular effect on Kryptonian physiology along with the limited resources present meant that doing so would be unwise enough that he should not undertake it in the first place, however.

"I expected to bring him to his knees and for him to pass out, yeah, but not like, for him to be sick or whatever." It's a half mumbled response. Hayley does feel some measure about guilt about that, knowing he's Clark and that she's made him sick for who knows how long. No one told her that little detail. Not that she can really blame them.

Hayley retrieves her coffee again. Then, grumpily, she slides from the arm of the chair to actually sit on one side of it. Her eyes fall to her drink, and she glances to the chair across from her, a silent invitation for Jor-El to sit if he chooses.

The method in which she said it made her admission clear enough for his purposes. Knowing to what degree she intended her actions, and that she appeared to be contrite for the aftermath, at least, set him at ease.

The glance does not escape his notice- what passes for subtle body language here is closer to what he was used to on a regular basis on Krypton- and he accepts, taking the seat.

He watches her for a moment before he speaks. "While I will understand if you choose you keep your distance for the time being, you are still welcome in my suite."

Hayley frowns at him, his sitting the chair across from her giving her the perfect excuse and anger for her displeasure with him to take shape. For all their round about questions and answers, neither seems to be getting any closer to what they seek from the other. The only different is that Jor-El has infinite patience when compared with the teenage girl's.

"Why? I don't get it." The idea that she cold stay with him after everything was too unreal.

He has enough information that at a later juncture he should be able gain insight from her answers, but that will come with time.

"You did not attack him with the intent to cause lasting harm." It is true, if not the main reason he is saying it. What she has said so far has made it evident that Kal-El did nothing to precipitate it, and that her attacking him, despite her words of intent, was incidental to whatever true reasons there were instead.

He intended to learn more and keep an eye on her in order to discern them, and provide some measure of the security it seemed she felt she was still lacking.

"So now you want to make sure I don't hurt him again, right? Keep an eye on me? Kill me?" She thinks on that a moment, setting her coffee down again. "No, I don't really think you would hurt me. But I do think you would spy on me and tell them what I'm doing or if I did anything suspicious or where the rock might be."

Hayley frowns a little, disappointed with her entirely biased assessment of him. "I want to like you, Jor-El, but I don't know if I can ever really trust that you wouldn't throw me under a bus if your son wanted you to. Metaphorically, obviously."

"What we have discussed in the past or will in the future is not a matter that concerns him." By nature he is a private person- it played a large role and aided in Lara's pregnancy not being discovered- and even in the eventuality that Kal-El asked, he would not undertake the task.

"I don't believe you have any current interest in attempting to hurt him for the time being. I will not ask you where the Kryptonite is or for you to give it to me, but you must understand that it is not dangerous for only Kryptonians." Kal-El had informed him of that, the first time he mentioned the substance and its dangers. "You need to make sure that it is properly contained."