tushanshu_logs | maybe I don't wonder why

Entry tags:

maybe I don't wonder why

Characters: Stephanie Brown AND YOU (also Bruce and Damian)
Date: 13th of February, after Steph's arrival
Location: All over!
Situation: Once more with feeling; by which I mean Steph is back and saying hi to a few people + fighting fog monsters bc why not
Warnings/Rating: Violence, Bruce, Damian, will update as necessary

It's disorientating, waking up again when she'd been in her suite only a few moments ago and for a second she panics before the presence of the kedan register, which - oddly, calms her down. Not that she trusts the kedan all that much, but she realizes what the whole thing means, including how groggy and weak she feels, so she knows better than to waste her energy freaking out. Waiting is easier, letting the kedan help her to the cart while she waits for the disorientation to fade.

Once it does, she asks the closest kedan which is her suite - laughs, because it's the same building as last time, although the room might be different - then thanks them for the trip before leaping out the back of the cart. She's still in her Batgirl suit, despite... not having been in it from what she remembers last of Keeliai, but that's something to worry about later. For now, it's much quicker to go by rooftop, and that's exactly what she does, familiarizing herself with the landscape as she goes. Things have changed, that much can't escape her, though she can't tell why, doesn't know what happened, which is more frustrating than anything, even if she knows there will be lots of explanations to come. Waking up somewhere other than the ocean means there's been big changes, though she isn't really going to complain, considering this option was a little more pleasant.

Anyway, what's most important is finding out who's still in the city. She checks for Steve and Peggy first, but their suites are empty or they've been replaced by someone else, and it feels a lot like her heart breaking.

She never even got a chance to say goodbye.

Sure, she left them letters, tried to tell them as often as possible how much they meant to her, and her last memory of Steve is tugging him into the water as she teased him. Her last memory of Peggy is telling her about it later, laughing even more as they combined forces to make fun of poor Steve, so they parted on good terms, she knew they were happy, but it still aches. For a few moments, she indulges the grief, breathing deep and blinking back tears, before wiping at her eyes and starting off towards Bruce's suit. Later, she can be sad about Peggy and Steve being gone, about them going back to their own separate lives where they can't be together anymore (and that hurts more than missing them does), but she should let Bruce know that she's back. She doesn't think he'll have been affected by her leaving like he was after Jason disappeared, the first time, but she... well, maybe he cared, just a little. Things had been better between them, after all.

→ Bruce

When she sneaks a look in Bruce's window and sees all the signs of him still being there, she lets out a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding. Fine, okay, maybe she's relieved that he's still here. She can admit that.

Still, apparently he's not home, which is frustrating, but it isn't the end of the world, she just heads out to see if he's at any of the safe houses she knows about. The first two she checks are long abandoned, but on the third warehouse she manages to find the security system still intact, and is even more relieved when she can actually access it. At least he likes her enough to give her access to his warehouse.

Of course, then she's inside, looking at Bruce's little collection of uniform cases, and all she can do is sigh.

"Really, Bruce?"

→ Damian

As soon as she's finished talking to Bruce, having gotten an update on who is and isn't here, the next person she needs to check on is so obvious it hardly even needs considering. She can't help feeling guilty about her absence, even though it's not something she could control; Damian would have taken it harder than Bruce did, maybe. For all his anger and bluster, she knows he cared about her, that they were something almost like family, and she knows that kids tend to take it a little more personally than adults do.

She owes it to him to see him next, to let him know that she's back.

Bruce tells her where to find him, and it's easy enough to slip back across the rooftopts until she's at his suite. While she could use the front door, she's still in her uniform, so she sticks to the shadows and gives on the windows a light rap, before stepping back to wait.

It occurs to her that it's a little tricky to breath, her chest is a little tight, and she realizes that it's nerves, because she's worried that Damian might want nothing to do with her. After she left, he might think it's better not to get attached again, to cut her out to save getting hurt.

And she doesn't want that to happen.

→ Open: the night of the 13th

Maybe she should take a break, grab something to eat and get settled back in her apartment, but she's feeling restless, too out of touch after how much Keelia and Tu Vishan has changed while she's been gone. Relaxing seems impossible, so she heads out again. Without the need to be anywhere in particular, she can take more time to relearn the lay of the land and adjust to the changes.

The fog makes all that a little difficult, and it's a little unsettling but she knows why it's there, between Bruce and Damian's explanations, so it's just... something to deal with. As much as she just wants to take the night to stretch her legs - despite having no memory from between her disappearance and arrival, she feelings almost as though she's been asleep for too long - there are problems to be addressed. Apparently the mold can be washed away, which is easy enough, so she spends a little time focusing on that. Batgirl can reach places some people might not be able to, even if Keeliai always did seem to have a large vigilantes and/or superhero population.

It saves her from having to think about everyone else she needs to tell that she's back. She'll do it... later, when she's had some time to settle in. The reunions with Bruce and Damian were enough for one day, when she's dealing with the loss of Steve and Peggy as well; she just needs a night or so to take care of herself before she has to deal with any more intense emotions.

So when she runs into the creatures that seem to have sprung from the mold, she's almost a little grateful for the opportunity to move and fight, despite knowing she shouldn't be thankful for this corruption clinging to Tu Vishan.

But it's something to think about that isn't Steve or Peggy or Bruce or Damian or how damn long she's been gone, so she throws herself into those fights with a little reckless abandon. She's sure they're not human, not really alive, so she doesn't hesitate to kill them. And for all that she's grateful for the excuse to fight as hard as she can, she certainly won't turn down any help offered.

It's going to be a long night.

→ Dick

The suite she's in feels empty, too blank and new even though she's started filling it back up with little personal items, even with Andy making herself at home. Somehow, it's worse that it's the same building, the constant reminder that she was here and then wasn't, that she's lost so many months. It feels almost like she's haunting herself, but with the fog outside, she can't exactly spend all her time outside, so she finds a compromise.

Today, that means she's found herself at Damian's suite, having waited until Bean and Midii left before letting herself in with the key she borrowed from Damian while he's in the bottle city. She knows Dick is still home, but that's fine, she's gotta run into him sooner or later, so for the moment she concerns herself with a mug of coffee, a book, and Damian's couch.

When she hears someone else moving about the house, she speaks up in favour of letting Dick stumble upon her, since she doesn't want to startle him, "There's more coffee in the pot, if you want some."

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She really has only the minimal training for telepathy, so she's not quite prepared for having another person in her head and sending emotions her way. But she's trying to keep herself focused, burying the sadness over missing Steve and Peggy and the worry she has over the state of Keeliai. Luckily it's easy enough when she can that Damian is glad to have her back, and with Taraja sending good vibes her way.

(She tries to think thank you in return, but she's not quite sure how the whole thing works.)

"I think knowing she's happy says a lot, too," Because sometimes Damian needs to be reminded of things like that. If he's responsible for caring for Taraja, then it's important that she's happy; that's how he can tell if he's doing right by her.

At the question, she shakes her head, "Never got a chance."

And if she's had minimal training, Damian's had even less. Outside of Deadman, that is, and later Talia and Deadpool controlling his body, talking using his mouth... Yeah. Damian's composure is pretty fake, but he's trying. Like he said, he finds the hatchling's well-being more important than his own.

Judging by the bouncy wave of pleased energy, Steph's message to Taraja is received.

Judging by the slight sinking of Damian's shoulders, the compliment... is slightly less so. Damian still doesn't really think about things in terms of 'happy,' so he worries that he wouldn't be able to tell, if he's doing something wrong. But that's why Dick's living with him, among other reasons, and that's why he's asked Jack for help with Taraja, too. It's just - complicated.

But he brushes by the worries as lightly as he can, nudging the hatchling to show Steph an image of the younger boy, small size, dark skin, and bright eyes and all.

"He is... now eight years old, coming from a world where ant-like aliens attacked the Earth, and he was trained to be among the force against them. Strategy and tactics, not actual combat. He is brilliant. An older friend of his, commander, about my age, was here for a while. When Wiggin disappeared, I offered Bean the option to stay here. It seemed..." Right. "The only thing I could do. He sometimes stays at his own suite - which is in Father's building - but, other times, he comes here."

Beat.

"And Grayson generally occupies the top floor. This one is from our world, but from earlier than either of us, or than Father. Definitely much earlier than Father." As small pause, in the update of his circumstances - the information may be redundant, but it seems like a start, on updating her.

And, then, a tiny note of whining creeping in his voice, "I have also been vaguely threatened with a karaoke night."

The trick to Damina - to all Bats, really - is to watch for the little gestures that they can't quite control. It's not something she necessarily learned from Cass, but having a best friend who read body language certainly helped Steph know how to pick up on those little cues. So she sees the sink of Damian's shoulders, but she won't push it right now, not when she's just gotten back and the mood in the room is good. Maybe later, when Taraja isn't around, she'll bring it up again.

"I'm sure he appreciates it," Being able to stay with a friend, or at least an ally, she isn't sure where exactly that relationship falls. The news about Dick isn't surprising, so she nods, "Are we talking a few months earlier, or a few years?"

Because there's... her. And she's already had the you're supposed to be dead conversation once; she'd rather avoided it a second time. Although that's another thought she tries to keep distant from Taraja, just in case, focusing instead on the mention of karaoke.

"If you're looking for an ally, you've got the wrong girl," Like she wouldn't help drag him to karaoke. Like she wouldn't be the first up on the stage.

">Tt.< That was a warning, not a request for assistance."

About the karaoke night. Because, really. Moonbounce.

... which gives him an idea for something interesting for Taraja. He'll have to talk with Rayner about it.

"Grayson is from very shortly after he took up the Cowl." He considers this. "I do not believe he would have been aware you have become Batgirl. I recall the change of costume was rather confusing, early on."

That was a long time ago for him, wasn't it. Damian blinks at the realization that he's been Robin for over two and a half years, now.

"You know me too well," But she sounds more pleased than annoyed by that fact, especially considering she can't quite hide her grin despite ducking her head.

The answer about Dick's timeline helps, though, because she can feel her shoulders sinking with the realization that she's going to have to go through all that bullshit again. And she doesn't even have Babs to back her up this time. She tries to keep the wave of bitter disappointment to herself, even as she nods to let Damian know she heard him. She just isn't sure what to say that wouldn't let all the disappointment out.

He doesn't mean to smirk at her...

... but the expression is there, anyway. He also places in front of her a sandwich and salad, with a mug of broth coming up after a moment.

He'll peel and slice fruit, while she eats those, for dessert.

Food time.

The smirk is fine, it makes her shake her head at him as she accepts the food, suddenly feeling a lot hungrier than she was a couple of hours ago. With the uneasy feeling from her arrival has passed, it almost is like she hasn't eaten for month.

"Thanks, kiddo," She takes a bite of the sandwich first, chewing and swallowing before she speaks again, "I heard Tim's here, is he behaving himself?"

Making it about Tim is a purposeful move, because while she isn't keen on picking sides in that conflict, Damian has made a lot of progress, and if Tim is still antagonizing him, she won't be impressed.

Damian picks a forkful from his own salad, then turns again, to make the significantly greater quantity of food for Taraja. Which involves somewhat more kelp, too, even if he suspects it is not the right kind of kelp. One of these days, he'll ask Rayner to make an air bubble for the two of them and see if they can reach the ocean's bottom and seek for other kinds of kelp, maybe the kind that Asti eats.

But that is... not for right now.

Instead, he shrugs.

"He has not seen appropriate to contact him, as he had not while he was here initially. The other one was... decent."

"I guess that's better than it could be," It's wry, but the attitude still isn't directed towards Damian, and if anything there's still some lingering bitterness over the fact the first Tim never contacted her, either.

">Tt.< " Yeah, he's not exactly all that enthusiastic to discuss it, but it's not vicious. Just sort of. Tired.

Damian gives a chance to change the topic... with his usual grace and tact.

"Is waking up in the palace different than it was, out in the ocean?"

Which is, among other things, a way to say that he hasn't had to experience it, as in, he's stayed sufficiently out of trouble to not need reviving. That's useful information, right?

Changing the topic is fine by her, she just wanted to check how the situation was without going through a third party like Bruce. And maybe she wanted to subtlely let Damian know that she's in his corner, when it comes to the animosity between him and Tim.

"I think I was a little more groggy in the palace, it's more disorientating 'cause it feels like it happens quicker. The beach is a slower process," She's not sure if maybe it's just different because she'd already been in Keeliai, but waking up in the palace felt like more of a shock.

And... he gets that, though it certainly helps that she sought him out, to get the message through. Also that he's had some more time in which to process all the information that he has. To process what he knows about people, to process what it means that they've gone away.

To appreciate them, even. At least in concept.

"Ah." He settles a large basin of greenery out for Taraja and settles back across from Steph, thoughtful.

"That might have something to do with Eshai's absence, too, of course."

"I can't say I expected that one," She'd realized something was wrong when she first arrived, but had been too groggy to think on it too much, until Bruce's file had outlined the events.

It's so strange to think about, like a vital part of Keeliai is missing, nevermind that Steph never liked her.

"She expected it least of all," Damian says, a little grumpily. He'd come to respect her, a little, but this is something he disagreed with her at their first encounter, at the first Audience. He'd asked, what would happen with what she brought them for, if she were to fall on the line. She'd said that it wasn't possible.

He shakes his head.

"I do not know anyone who can tell what her absence has done, to the shields around Keeliai. I do not know how vulnerable we are." With a nod at Taraja. "How vulnerable they are."

"Do you think Tu Vishan would know?" Not that communicating with him is easy, even if Steph read Bruce's files about people experiencing dreams from him; the whole thing is still a bit weird to think about.

But if it's possible, they should make an effort to find out more, for the sake of the little ones.

Damian's face, rare as that is, smooths, some of the tension draining away at the thought of Asti. It's been months, since he visited the boy's dreams, but Damian remembers it clearly. And, Steph can probably see, trusts him.

"He probably would, yes, but I do not believe he has visited anyone, since then. I have asked people that I know to try and ask him, if he comes to them." He thinks that some of the others will actually think to ask. Probably. "He is probably the only one who can answer such questions now."

Because Damian doesn't know about the other native magic user, after all.

That's reassuring, even if she doesn't know all the reasoning behind it, clearly the thought of the turtle is a good one.

"Is there any way we can start a conversation with him?" She doubts there's a way, but it can't hurt to ask or to toss ideas around while they're just catching up and eating dinner.

Damian pauses, and his eyes linger on Taraja.

"Perhaps. Other than making sure of regularly sleeping enough to dream, that is."

But he is loath to use the young creature as an experiment. Possibly, she is too young, and attempting this might hurt her.

"It might be something to look into, the more we know about all this the better," She doesn't miss the look at Taraja, but if Damian won't make the offer then Steph won't push it. She doesn't know the situation well enough to ask about whether the turtles would be able to help.

"Or it might be something that causes irreversible damage to one of the fifteen young creatures, the likes of whom have not been born - hatched, I know, Taraja - billions of years, judging by the effect the attempts have had on adult, or nearly so, members of other species. And she is too young to make the decision herself."

Which results in an unmistakeable mental impression of sulking coming from her, at which Damian sighs, and offers the food he's prepared for her.

"Not yet. Asti must be aware of the new additions on his back. He probably will visit somebody's dreams, before it becomes... critical."

And then they'll be asking him about everything they could think of.

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maybe I don't wonder why

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Good thing you're psychic and understand what I mean through my typos...

surprise i'm a witch

Witches are awesome. Also, where did these four days go?

i ate them

Ohhh nom nom nom!

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