tushanshu_logs | [Closed]

"You don't have to spot me, I've got cash for myself," Mako answered easily enough, before placing his hands in his pockets. His posture said that despite everything, he was at ease, significant around her, since they'd been so guarded recently. This was a change both of them needed, and it made it harder to ignore the feelings he had for her than he thought it would.

It was one of the few times he didn't care, though.

"It's not bad there, you know. I like it-- a lot less fancy and overpriced than anything in the Metal or Fire Sectors. And the people are..." he pauses as he considers how to say this. "... Less noses in the air." Wait. "--Not that I'm saying you or Asami are that, you know, just... uh, you know what I mean."

Well, that was an awkward way to end that sentence.

Seeing him actually being himself was something she didn't get to see too often recently. Glimpses of it from the palace's pool that showed her the future weren't her, so just right then was enough for her to sidle up next to him casual as she pleased.

Still, she couldn't keep the single laugh out of her words. "I think I know you meant the kedan." When Mako wasn't his cool, collected self and almost tripping over his own words was one of Korra's favorite facets of him. Her feelings for him were always just beneath the surface and she fought to keep them there.

"I can't do the nose in the air trick too well. But if you want, I could try and give it a shot." Completely teasing because she knew just how much of a disaster that would turn out to be.

"That's alright, I'll just take your word for it," he replied quickly, and then pushed the door open for her. "After you."

He could walk them over to the park where the stands were, and maybe, just maybe, they could talk more. There were still some things that he wanted to ask her, though he was still screwing up the courage to just ask plainly.

It's not that he wanted to break from their previous conversation completely, but he thought they could both use a break from it, too.

"Ah-thank you, sir." Said with a smirk and she waited until he was through it so she could just lock up for the night. Anything left out she would just come in early and pick up or let Ryou handle.

When she saw the stands, Korra lowered her hands from the top of her head and sniffed at the air curiously. "Oh wow, that does smell familiar. You weren't kidding." That food made her stomach growl, the appetite she built up earlier wasn't helping either.

"Come on!" she went to grab his arm so she could move them along faster.

He let his arm be grabbed, picking up the pace a bit. Which for him really just meant taking longer strides, but details. He was more familiar with this place, and the one thing he appreciated was that, honestly, it was safe compared to some of the neighborhoods that he'd been in.

When they got to the stands, he let her pick out what she wanted first. He knew he probably wasn't anywhere near as hungry as she was. He could take his time making up his mind while she went ahead.

At least the stand owner recognized him. That was pretty impressive.

Longer strides was exactly what happened since Korra was noticeably shorter than him. The atmosphere of the Wood Sector was different from Metal and it was easy for Korra to tell.

As soon as she was able, Korra was taking practically two of everything. Her hands were slowly getting fuller and she actually had to hold a bag of steaming dumplings by her mouth.

She nudged Mako with her hip to get his attention. "Gibth ne a habd."

Somehow, he wasn't surprised when suddenly she had more than she could handle all at once. He stared at her-- and being in a particularly good mood did not stop him from giving a baleful, 'are you kidding me' stare at all the food she was trying to buy at once. But he could help her out, at least.

She was as bad as Bolin, though. That definitely didn't escape his notice.

He took one of the bags, and then placed his order. He already had the cash out, and he could go ahead and cover her while she wrestled with the fact that she didn't have three hands, even though she apparently had two stomachs.

Payment and greeting out of the way, they were gonna have to find a place to sit. And there were plenty of places-- and the good thing about the Wood Sector, that was the one advantage over Republic City? You could see the stars at night. So, just about anywhere would do.

So he just picks one of the grassy hills. "Over here, c'mon."

As soon as she was able to talk normally, she gave a quick thanks and made her load more manageable. All she did was give a winning smile once they were paid for and take a bite out of some meat on a stick.

Korra was in a good mood and she was happy to follow Mako out through the stalls and over to a grassy hill. It was a bright night thanks to no clouds blocking off the half-moon and stars.

"Here, I'm not going to eat all this by myself. Even if it does taste and smell like home." She got two of everything for a reason and handed Mako half of her food stuffs. Using some of the napkins the vendors included, Korra spread out a makeshift cloth to put their evening meal on.

"This is way more than either of us can eat," Mako comments, before taking one of the dumplings. There's at least some relief that she'd never intended to eat all of that by herself. He glanced upwards, staring at the night sky, mulling over what he wanted to say next.

Well... he may as well just say it.

"Korra..." His voice sounds less sure. "... What did you actually see? In Kithika?"

Something that may have resembled the word leftovers escaped her full mouth and she swallowed her food to follow his gaze upwards. She was about to take another bit, but stopped just short and continued looking at the stars.

It might have even seemed that she didn't even hear him.

"Another life." She finally said after almost a full minute of silence. Then Korra took a drink from one of the fizzy drinks, ice cold at her touch. "All of it; at once." Her tone went down an octave and she nibbled at a steamed bun.

"Like Bolin, did," he said. It wasn't a question, so much as him verbalizing exactly what he was thinking, allowing her to hear him process the information, however small it was. He was quiet for a long minute, though he tried to hide it with eating. But it was obvious that he was mulling things over.

What had happened to him and Asami had been one thing. It had been, in his opinion, needlessly brutal and public. There was no hiding exactly what they were seeing. How dangerous bending could be.

But Korra and Bolin were more subtle. Bolin was easy to pick apart, Mako didn't even have to ask the question, he'd revealed everything about what had happened in that other life with the barest of prompting. Both then, and then later at his suite. Korra was different.

Mako only had what he'd put together based off her amazement at him even being alive and her bending. He knew something had went horribly wrong, to a point that he couldn't even make complete sense of it.

Looking up at the stars, and then back at her, trying not to over press his luck... "What happened?"

Korra looked up at the stars for as long as she could. But the question made her remember the other life that was now living parallel next to hers in the back of her mind. The night sky was the one thing that she could look at back then. One of the things that she could endlessly look at while in the compound and not feel restrained while doing so.

"When I was four, the Order of the White Lotus found out I was the Avatar." It was the only time where her memories overlapped and she said it simply enough as she took small bite of her steamed bun.

"But I overheard my father and Tenzin and how they wanted me to stay locked in at the compound. Not to let me go anywhere else." In what had actually happened to her, Korra could at least go home and visit her family from time to time. "So I didn’t let my mom and dad visit me. Said it would distract me from becoming a fully realized Avatar."

Something she wasn’t proud of, even if it wasn’t technically her. Korra paused and took another drink.

"My first teacher is still Katara. She was the best teacher I ever had." Said sadly as Korra looked over at Mako. "The only one after she taught me everything she knew. She passed not too long after that." When exactly that happened, Korra didn’t say and she just continued on.

"Eventually I figured out a way to get out of the compound and I found Naga, right before they found me. I couldn’t keep her." Korra brought her knee up and put her arm atop it. "I watched them kill her."

After swallowing hard, she finished the rest of her bun.

"After I mastered Earth, I had my firebending test to see if I was a master of Fire. Katara wasn’t there to let me pass like she was back home. I had to stay at the compound until I mastered it completely." A pause before she spat out. "I hated it. I hated being there. So I did work on Fire and the restraint they wanted me to have on it. That’s why I got to the advanced level."

She rubbed her eyes with her hand and then let it rest over her nose and mouth.

"I was seventeen when Tenzin came to teach me airbending at the compound. But he said he couldn’t stay and that it might have been months, or longer, before he could instruct me."

Korra set her chin on her arm and glanced briefly at Mako, her voice quavering slightly.

"I’ve had enough. Breaking out was my only option and I took it. They trained me too well and I don’t know how many there were, but I know there wasn’t anyone left at the compound after I left for Republic City."

There was more, but that thought was hammering down on her trying to keep the memories from getting blurred, and the thought that she would have done something that extreme in another life was a thought that had been haunting her since Kithika.

Edited 2014-03-15 03:55 (UTC)

"Hey," he leaned over and placed a hand on her shoulder, gentle. She sounded like she was trying to work through the memories completely-- and there was a lot that was different. But that wasn't her, as far as he was concerned. That life had nothing to do with the girl that was in front of him. "That wasn't your life."

He scooted a little bit closer, before continuing.

"You don't have to tell me, but trust me. Whatever happened that lead to that isn't you. Not anymore than whatever led to Bolin being an equalist isn't him."

He needed her to believe him when he said it, even if it didn't seem like the most helpful thing he could have possibly said, it was the only thing he could really offer her.

"Something like that... sounds pretty shocking though."

When she felt his hand, Korra looked over at Mako and nodded. It was something she had told Zatanna that same thing, but she knew how hard it was to believe that when you were that person for a full day. When those memories were just as real as your own.

"I know."

She gave a single laugh that almost sounded like a cough.

"When I got to Republic City you helped me out, you know. I wasn’t even there for ten minutes before I got attacked by Equalists. We were doing all right together, and I didn’t even know your name. When more of them showed up and we got outnumbered, I thought that was it, but Bolin showed up and helped even it out. After we fought them off, we all talked and Bolin talked you into letting me stay with you guys. I didn’t have a place and pro-bending was shut down because of the Equalist threat getting worse in the city. You promised to help me when I said I’d put a stop to it." She took a sip from her drink. "I met Asami in that life too. She hit me with her moped, but we managed to get along and become friends. No one’s ever been nice to me the way you all have."

"I went to Air Temple Island so Tenzin would teach me airbending. If I was going to take on Amon, I wanted to have all four elements. But he just tried to talk me into going back to the compound, and he freaked out when I told him there wasn’t one to go back to. We shouted at each other and actually had a real fight. But he left to see to the South Pole to see if I was lying. After that was when Amon started making bolder moves and started to take out the police force with Equalists weapons and mecha tanks. He took Lin’s bending away too. He even sent a challenge to me over the radio."

This was the first time she spoke about any of it and she wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not yet.

"I wanted to take him up on it, but not the way he was expecting. You, me, and Bolin got some Equalist uniforms so we could sneak in." She gave him a quick, wan smile. "Your idea. But it didn’t work, Amon was a step ahead of us and almost took away our bending. He tried to take away yours first and I almost stopped him, but he bloodbended me without even moving. Asami saved us. She overhead the plan from her father and came just in the nick of time to get us out. We all went back to the apartment so we could plan out how to take the next step. It was a good week, just staying with friends and, well, with you too."

She sighed and looked back up at the half-moon.

"But that didn’t last. We decided to split up and try to get information on Amon’s next big move." Korra was keeping her throat straight so it would be easier to talk. She didn’t want to think of what happened next, not when her memory had it vividly at the ready.

He listened as she explained, and the differences between what had actually happened and what she suddenly remembered were... confusing. Confusing was a good way to put it. The Equalist movement he remembered was never, for lack of a better word, violent. Just a lot of frustrated non-benders that Amon had played for fools. This movement she was describing was a huge difference from the one he remembered.

He can't even manage much of a reaction when she tells him about his idea, and how it didn't work. It just seemed so foreign to him that he could only vaguely imagine his own motivations, but it explained why he couldn't talk to Korra while she thought that was her reality. Every one of them seemed different. Her, Him, Bolin, Asami... Hell, even Amon.

When she did pause, he could put together what had happened based off of her reaction, and for some reason, he didn't want to hear about the inevitable, even if it wasn't him. Hearing that you died, even in some alternate reality, or fantasy (because who knew if these were actual memories, and not just something the statues planted in their heads) was disturbing.

He wouldn't stop her from saying if it helped, but he was dreading those words coming out of her mouth as much as she was dreading saying them.

Another squeeze of her shoulder. "You don't have to."

Telling Mako everything up to that point was taking its toll and she had done her best to keep it together, all over a life she knew wasn't real; yet it felt just as real as the one she had lived. Including what he already knew and what she was dreading talking about.

The thought was there and she tried to wipe it off and she even nodded to his offer. She put her hand on his and squeezed. Just that contact, knowing that he was right there and none of it was real should have been enough for Korra to let it drop.

But every time she ran up and slid from stopping too soon, falling back onto the ground; to where Bolin was tied and bound next to-

"Amon left you there." she said through the tight knot in her throat that had been growing since she started answering his question. "Bolin was next to you." Being forced to watch, she remembered what Bolin told her after they were in a better state to talk.

"Mako, you weren't," she took in a shuddering breath and tried to clear her throat to speak clearly. That ultimately failed, her mind wouldn't clear and the image of his body contorted, misshapen and broken wouldn't leave her mind and she brought bother her knees up to her and buried her face in her arms.

This was a weakness she didn't want to have from a life she didn't want to know about, and worst of all he was right next to her, so it just felt stupid to be like this over it. No matter how real it was to her.

Worse was that she couldn't even hold him to reassure herself that he was there. That was the whole point of them talking, so they could continue what they had been doing. Simply being friends.

"I'm sorry. It's, I know it's not what happened."

"It isn't," he agrees, a little lost. Inside, he couldn't help but thank her for not going into extreme detail. He didn't want to know, and as she'd started talking, how much he didn't want to know hit him in the form of a growing pit in his stomach. But that still left him stuck on what he could do.

It didn't matter, in the end, though. He wasn't going to listen to his own instincts on this. His hand moved from her closer shoulder, and to her other shoulder, so he could pull her into a hug, for the second time that night. She needed it, and he wanted to reassure her that he was there.

This was a mess, and part of him regretted asking about it in the first place, since it felt like all it had done was hurt her.

"Don't worry about apologizing, I asked you for what happened." Said softer than he really meant to. But he tended to do a lot of things he didn't mean to when around Korra.

Stiff at first, Korra loosened up after she heard his tone. The words weren't nearly as important as the way he said it and she took what she needed just then, hugging him back tightly. That physical reminder, having him there alive well, drove out the memory that had plagued her since she started explaining.

"Thank you." It was quiet, barely above a whisper and practically lost into his scarf. Korra waited until her breathing was clearer before straightening back up. She bought some extra time by looking at all the food she had brought up with them.

"Anything we don't finish, you can just give to Bolin, right?" It was a horrible play at changing the topic, but Korra wasn't at the top of her game just then.

What was surprising was that it was a little hard to let her go. But when she tried to pull back, he didn't stop her, and instead moved to create a little bit more space between them. He ran a hand through his hair, and then leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees.

"Yeah, Bo will clean up anything we don't finish," he replied easily enough, glancing at the food that was already starting to get a little chilled. Bolin probably wanted some food like what he could get at home anyway, Mako was going to have to make a note to grab something from this place for him at some point.

He recognized the topic change for what it was, and tried, for the most part, to keep it going.

"The real question," he said a little more confidently, cheerfully, "Is why you got all this stuff for us in the first place."

He glances at her with a somewhat subdued grin. If she wanted to move on, he wanted to, as well. But it was hard to drop the thread of everything they'd been talking about, just like that.

She was glad to have that change go over. If there was some way to separate that other life from her memories permanently, she would do it. But his tone had some pep that she could ride on and she began to start eating again.

"Hey, I just got done working out. I'm pretty hungry." After finishing off that fizzy drink, she pointed a pair of chopstick at him that held a piece of cooked chicken. "Besides, you said you haven't had dinner yet. So this should make up for it."

She rubbed her chin looking at the food, eager to keep what they just started going. "Which one's your favorite of what we have here?" Then a pause before: "Besides the one you ordered."

"Yeah, but we're two people." Pointing out the obvious with a gesture. "You and Bo could probably get through this, I guess." It was an odd sort of compliment, before he took one of the "chicken" kabobs in an obvious answer to her question.

He took a bite of it, seeming like he was still thinking over a very serious dilemma. If they'd had some fried noodles at that stand, he would have been set, but the kabob would do. "Kind of partial to the... whatever this is." The meat was something he'd learned not to ask too many questions about.

"What about you?"

Calling it 'whatever' did make Korra grin; she wasn't nearly shy to learn about where the meat came from. Her iron stomach was unrivaled, for the most part. "Yeah, he did beat my record at Lai's in the Earth Sector. I thought I was the only one who could eat ten pounds of cooked shrimp." Between her and Bolin, they could probably out-eat anything.

In answer, she grabbed a small carton and unfolded it; a small bit of steam rising thanks to the heat being trapped in. It had rice and Keeliai's closest equivalent to roast goose mixed in with pork. "Out of what they had, this works great!" There wasn't a lot of meat to be had at Air Temple Island since they were all vegetarians, so Korra was really enjoying the meat selection the city had to offer.

Now that she had her mouth full of food, a good feeling in her stomach that had nothing to do with said food, Korra raised her eyebrows slightly. "Can I ask you something?" The way she said it, her unsure tone, was hinting at it being related to what they just hugged over.

"Sure," he replied, his tone neutral. He didn't know what she wanted to know, but he wanted to make sure that he was ready for it. He figured, of the two of them, Korra needed some sort of stability more than he did. Whatever it was.

Korra actually wait until she was done eating her mouthful of food and looked at Mako as she thought about how to phrase her question. But she needed an outside view, not just her own. She was biased and she didn't want to be, which of course was hard since she had experienced the raw emotions her other life had.

"What do you make of- her?" she paused because it was weird to say, but he was there when Korra was that person for a day. Of course it wasn't any kind of life she wanted to be a part of, but if things happened differently,

that was Korra. What could have been...

He paused, mulling over the answer. He wasn't sure what he could say-- he knew immediately that she wasn't the Korra he knew. And she knew that he wasn't the same Mako that she knew. They were set to clash from the beginning, just based off of that fact itself. It wasn't an easy question to answer.

"I don't know, Korra," he admits honestly. "It was one day." But he knows that isn't a satisfying answer, even as he presses his hand to his forehead.

"We weren't really set up to get along. My brother's freaking out about me still having my firebending, and then she's talking about how I'm dead, and it's really obvious to me how every single thing I'm saying is somehow proving her right in her mind." He gestures a bit helplessly, and then finishes with a shrug.

"There's no real good answer for that. You're different people, with different circumstances, and no matter what my opinion was, it wasn't going to change that."

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