tushanshu_logs | Coming clean about a few things

Entry tags:

Coming clean about a few things

Characters: Kon-El (

tactile_telekinesis) & Hayley Stark (

everylittlegirl)
Date: Backdates to 8th March
Location: Hayley’s suite
Situation: Kon wants to talk to Hayley and tell her more about him.
Warning: None?

Kon had noted down Hayley’s address after he spoke to her over the inboxes. He hadn’t really known her that long but they’d spoken often enough that he felt comfortable around her. Bart trusted her, Kal had trusted her and that was enough for him after a while. After things had calmed down enough. There had been things about Kon that he didn’t just tell people, things that hadn’t had a chance to be said, an opening. He knew that he really didn’t have to tell her everything, and he wasn’t going to, but he did feel like there were some things she should know.

So he left his own suite in the Wood sector and took off towards Metal. When he was meeting people, it never took that long to reach the overall area, which he always saw as a good thing for two reasons. One, the person wasn’t going to be waiting for a long time and two, he could get a longer sleep in in the mornings if it was pre-planned. It was around forty minutes when he finally reached Hayley’s suite and knocked on the door, waiting for her to answer.

"Yo, Hayley!"

Standing there though, was giving him time to rethink whether or not he was actually going to tell her everything despite knowing deep down he would. Damn, why was this making him so nervous? Or was this just him being unsure.

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Kon would have had a lot to say if she ever did find the right time to ask him about the costume.

"Dude the jacket is the best! I've gone through so many of them though, it's like they're some kinda target for the bad guys, y'know? Lame doesn't even begin to describe it, so I don't wear it when I'm in costume, safer that way."

He grinned and took off his shades.

"Don't think you're gonna get of the hook with the costume. We'll get you in something."

Kon walked over, coming up behind Hayley, though he had approached from the side and then leaned over with the shades, slipping the lenses in place.

"You get used to the red. But these shades helped out with a lot of powers I didn't have. You got heat vision, microscopic vision and my favourite with x-ray. I abused that setting a lot on the beaches of Hawaii."

It wasn't a function he had used here unless he had to, and that was with the usual, peering through walls to find people or to check for weapons.

"The jacket adds a certain level of badass. I could totally see bad guys seeing it as a gauntlet thrown or whatever," she replied with a smirk, half teasing and half idly speculating. Kon was too proud of the whole thing for her to do much more than mock him a little.

Hayley tensed slightly when he moved behind her, lifting her hands to rest on his for a second as he put the glasses on her. Then she dropped them, looking around the room.

"Okay, first of all, could you be any more cliche? That's basically sexual assault or stalking or whatever." X-rays at a beach was not okay if he meant it. "Second? I think I need these more than you do. And third.."

She trialed off for a moment as she looked around with the glasses on, intrigued at the way the world changed through the lenses. After a pause, she continued. "No costume. I don't believe in your whole lying-to-the-people-you-care-about-and-making-their-decisions-for-them-under-the-guise-of-protecting-them thing that you guys like doing."

"I was a cliché. I knew it was wrong but I still did it, skeevey, right? I stopped using it for checking girls out though and here on the shell when I got them? Only used for checking that the coast is clear or that some gang member doesn't have a knife they're about to stab someone with."

People grew up and a lot had happened that changed him and how he acted. A lot of it for the best because when he thought on who he was, it wasn't always good memories on his behaviour. Kon walks around so he's stnading in front of her and shakes his head.

"I wouldn't ask you, or expect you, to lie to anyone. Costumes kinda held tie people in a team together. Like a uniform, that's what I'd see it as."

"Yeah, it is," she agreed. 'Skeevy' was one word for it. "So what changed?"

"And how do I..? Ah." Hayley shifted the glasses over to the x-ray setting, from the infrared, smiling at the view of the suite with the new perception. She had to focus to control the levels, intentionally looking to Kon's upper half and smirking. Objectively, he was actually pretty attractive and it wasn't something she only just noticed; it was something she generally preferred to ignore was all.

After another glance around, she slid the glasses off and blinked with the normal view. Offering him his red shades back, she rolled her eyes. "The whole point of a uniform is uniformity. None of your costumes even match, except maybe the whole primary colors thing. I'm not playing dress up to go fight crime just because it improves team spirit."

Hayley paused, smile slipping from her lips as her eyes caught on his chest. "Have you ever thought about getting your own symbol?"

"I grew up, found someone I was really happy with and then...realised it was disrespectful and that she'd hate me to keep being an ass."

He raised a brow as he caught her smirk with her looking at him and then slowly shook his head. Kon didn't feel the urge to move his arms and try and cover himself up, he'd always been pretty confident in how he looked, so he continued to stand there with hands on his hips. He moved when she offered the shades back and propped them on top of his head.

"Sometimes they help to protect you as well."

Kon fell quiet as he touched at the S shield on his chest. For him, there wasn't any other symbol out there. He didn't want his own when he had worked so hard to earn this in other peoples eyes. He found himself shaking his head again, slower and smiling a little as he did.

"No."

It was an easy answer to give.

"It's my family and it's who I am. I worked for it and I'm proud of it."

"Who was the lucky girl?" She replied with a grin, genuinely happy for whoever could handle Kon enough to change him like that. It sounded like she didn't force him to change, only encouraged him to want to change himself. That kind of thing seemed rare and even less long-lasting.

Kon's shake of the head only made Hayley smile a little more. They were all too similar in some ways. And yet entirely different in others.

"I told you I don't buy that whole fake identity thing. I don't need some costume to 'protect' and hide who I am." She misunderstands his meaning, assuming he's talking about masking herself rather than literal physical protection. Everyone she knows with a costume has powers, after all, and she knows the majority of them, if not all, are invincible or close to.

With the symbol, her mouth tightened again. Unconsciously, her mind made the unfortunate decision to lash out, still angry with Clark and wanting to remind Kon that he wasn't the same as his quasi-father. "Does Lex have a symbol? Maybe you could join the two."

"Tana. And I was the lucky one to be with someone like her."

She'd stuck with him through a lot of his own mess, gave him so many chances and then it had ended so quickly. There's a sad smile as he thinks about her, but it's brief as he moves on from that hurtful place.

"I meant more in a phys--"

He was about to go on and talk about how he had meant from physical harm. How some costumes, like Batmans actually helped to lessen the blow from peoples attacks. How some were made in such a way that they stood up to burns and rips. He would have spoken about how he meant what he said, about not asking her to hide but then she has to go and basically punch him in the gut with his guard down. His muscles tensed and his back straightened. Her words had felt like a punch and a slap, a stab and other actions that caused pain. He didn't know what to think, he had trusted her and told her who he really was and there she was, suggesting that he make Lex a part of him and he felt sick.

But instead of lashing out in anger, he took a deep breath in through his nose, held it for a moment before he let it out. He took a moment to collect himself.

"I'm just gonna assume that you didn't actually mean to ask that and instead just meant to think it."

Hayley's body tensed in response to Kon's change in posture, though it wasn't something she consciously recognized. Some small part of her had been hoping for a fight, for an excuse to yell at him about how terrible Superman was and how he could be so much more - but the rest of her knew she had made a mistake. She grimaced slightly with his words.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean- You're nothing like Lex, okay? But you're not like Clark either and you shouldn't be trying so hard to suck up to someone with his own issues." Not that she was biased and harboring her own issues with the hero or anything. "And, I mean, wouldn't you rather I say it than just think it? Isn't that basically why we're friends?"

Their honesty with each other, their willingness to disagree and to argue, those things seemed to make them friends more than anything else. Having mutual friends helped, but, at least as far as Hayley was concerned, she didn't really feel the need to pull her punches and watch her words as carefully as she did with basically everyone else here.

He would rather her say it than think it. But he'd been caught off guard that she was even thinking that and took it as a comparison. Kon wanted nothing to do with Lex, he didn't want the association anywhere near him even though it was impossible to get away from. But wearing something? That would be admitting it, that would imply he was fine with the man and what he did, or does.

Kon took another few moments before he could even move and sit on the arm of the couch. Bringing his hands up to his face and covering it as he rubbed them against it.

"I don't suck up to him. I know I'm not like him even though that's what I was created to be. I don't want to be like him, other than as someone reliable and good. I wear it because it means I belong, that I have people other than my team mates. That Kara is more to me than my donors cousin that Jor-El is more than my donor's dad. Wearing this also shows people that there's hope things will be okay, that if there's trouble then there's help. And Lex? He's nothing to me."

Kon sighs as he sits up, clasping his hands together and making the leather gloves creak as he does. He looked over at Hayley.

"I just didn't expect that. I didn't expect you to be angry."

Hayley thought about reaching out or giving him a hug or something like that, but it all felt fake - even the idea of it. A gesture void of sincerity was worse than no gesture at all. So she stayed where she was, pressing her lips together in awkward near embarrassment as he spoke. She listened. What he said on the subject mattered to her.

"You know Clark and I allegedly forgave each other, but it's not like we've really talked much since then and I wouldn't exactly call us friends. I mean, I try.. It's just.." She frowned, lifting a hand to scratch at her hair. "I don't really understand the whole family appeal. I guess I get wanting to belong, sort of, but I don't really get why your teammates wouldn't be enough."

A beat. "And he's not your donor. He's your dad."

It was the girl's attempt at a small kindness after trying to hurt him a moment before.

A hug would have thrown him off completely and worried him. It wouldn't have been something he would have been okay with simply given the situation and the fact that it would have been from Hayley. It just wouldn't have felt right after what they'd been saying.

He could understand where she was coming from and what she meant with trying. Even trying and forving, making it...it didn't mean that things were always going to be the same as before. It didn't mean that you would be able to treat it like it was. Something like what Hayley and Clark went through, it was hard. He knew that for Hayley, given the kind of girl she was, that it wouldn't be easy but he just didn't think she would still be so angry about it.

"You know, back home...I didn't really have anything. I didn't trust my team completely, I didn't think of them as friends, just teammates. My girlfriend was murdered, I had people I considered family but sometimes it was awkward and didn't work. Superman, we didn't really have anything back home either. But here, I had that family, I had that relationship of sorts."

He had said donor to make it sound as though the family thing was more important, that wasn't what he saw Kal as...and neither was 'father'. It wasn't a term he had thought to put with the man but if you thought about it, it was right. Kon had fallen quiet but he nodded and appreciated her attempt.

"Can you imagine me calling him pops? That'd be so weird."

It was Kon's understanding of how hard the situation had been for her, even as the antagonist, that was why they had even begun to get along in the first place. She appreciated it and some part of her clung to it, that acceptance of her darkness and anger that most people couldn't even begin to understand. He took it in stride. Well, maybe with some yelling, but they somehow seemed to come back to each other at the end of it.

"I'm sorry about your girlfriend." It was something that needed to be said. The girl clearly deserved at least that much from Kon's description of her. Beyond that, Hayley didn't know what to say. Some part of her resented his having a loving family, like she had resented Clark for the same thing, but she knew enough of Jor-El and Clark to know it wasn't exactly as sunshine and rainbows as her mind made it out to be.

"Maybe you should give it a shot," she said finally. The joke was easier to reply to than the heart of the issue.

He was sorry as well but it was something he didn't like to dwell on for long. It was always going to be something that would bring him down, that he hadn't been fast enough, that he was stupid enough to let her get in that situation. Kon appreciated what Hayley said though.

Kon also appreciated the different direction this took and he was more than happy to go along with it. To leave the Lex part behind, to leave the talk of Tana and home behind and he snorted.

"I think if I did, he'd have a heart attack or something and I'd just feel like a goof."

"Maybe a heart attack would be good for him," she replied with a wicked grin. It honestly surprised her that she was still so angry with Clark, not realizing it until it reared its ugly head and Kon called her on it. Hayley had wanted to go back to the way things were before and that was long gone. Instead, there was only awkwardness and a dismissal of her murder between them.

Then she paused before rolling her eyes, knowing that Kon wouldn't appreciate the remark as much as she did. "I can't help it, okay? Maybe we should go back to talking about costumes."

He wasn't sure what the smile he had was meant to convey. It just felt as though it was there and didn't really have any kind of emotion behind it. He hadn't appreciated it, but he refrained from commenting on it, believing that she could help it. But that the anger wasn't something that was going to go away, not for a long time, if at all.

What he would do though, is take the costumes subject and run with it because it was another thing to steer away from what had been said.

"I'm thinking you need like a three colour theme."

Hayley knew that Kon didn't like her comments about Clark. She steered the subject away because she had no interest in alienating her friend, but it would be an exaggeration to say she cared much about offending him beyond the damage it would do to their relationship. It was selfish, in that way.

"Or- Or I could just not wear a costume at all." She flashed a hollow grin to accompany the words. "What were you saying before though? Something about it being physical?"

"Or you could have like a mask on and tights and like ninja stars or something. We'd need to find someone that could show you how to use them though. I'm thinking red with some other colours. And a symbol. You need a symbol."

Kon was returning with a smile, though there was more behind it than there had been before.

It took him a moment to remember what he'd been saying and what Hayley meant.

"Oh yeah, when I said there sometimes used to protect you, I mean from physical harm, not to hide who you are. Like the materials can be used to stop a gun shot or absorb energy, that kinda thing."

"No ninja stars," she retorted immediately, practically cutting off his words. "Guns will work just fine."

She glared with joking suspicion at his smile before it became catched, a smile spreading slowly onto her own lips. He was obnoxiously entertaining, much like Bart. Less likely to keep her interested, but more likely to speak her language.

"Maybe I could be talked into wearing a costume if it was bullet proof or something equally awesome, but I'm not wearing one just to look 'cool.'" She provided the accompanying air quotes. "And a symbol? Can you not drag me into all of your cliches? Like maybe no primary colors either?"

"Guns?" Kon wasn't sure about guns. Some were pretty cool that didn't really have the ability to kill, more like disable. But he had a feeling Hayley meant actual guns. But then they were just as dangerous as the stars and he didn't want to suddenly say what she could and couldn't have. "No killing with them though. Unless it that Mal-douche."

Kon looked offended at the primary colours as he looked as himself, primary colours galour.

"We can totally work on a bullet proof costume, gotta be breathable and flexible. Ouch! Cliche? You know what to say to hurt a guy, huh? Fine, no symbol. But at least one primary. Even if it's subtle."

"Well, I have this, uh.. plasma something? I forget what it's called." Hayley dropped her eyes, feeling suddenly like the gun was something she should maybe be more careful about. But Bart already knew and she wasn't ashamed of it, so Kon could deal. "It's supposed to be able to stop pretty much anyone, no matter how fast or strong they are."

She met his gaze again. "Tony gave it to me after the whole murder thing."

With the colors, she rolled her head into a light shrug. "Oh come on, you know it's true. Every hero's costume I've seen here is all primary colors with some black and white thrown in. Can't I just have something in plain black? It's not like I'm a superhero anyway. I could add a symbol with some red in it, if that would make you feel better."

Kon wanted to see what Hayley was talking about. Not to judge it or anything, it just sounded really interesting. Something that could stop anyone? When Hayley looked up Kon was smiling.

"You know, that sounds pretty sweet actually. Have you tried it out or anything?"

The circumstances that she got it under however, were not sweet and he was reminded even stronger of what had happened. That Hayley wasn't your typical teenager, that she'd had bad things happen to her. Here. But he was glad there were others looking out for her.

"No no, it's cool. You've already said black's the way to go. Don't mind me."

He was acting hurt over the colours still but only playing with her. He didn't mind, or care what her costume looked like, as long as it was cool afterwards.

Huh. That was certainly not the reaction she was expecting. Unless it was a trap, approaching her with camaraderie in the hopes of her admitting to another attack or the like. She kept her expression the same sort of smile, though the sincerity behind it faltered slightly.

"No. I mean, I carried it around after I attacked Superman, in case someone came after me, but it's not like I have anyone to try it on." A beat. "Unless you're volunteering? But I don't actually know if it's just supposed to hold them in place or if it's supposed to knock them out."

"And oh no. It's too late. Black with a red symbol it is. But whatever I design, you have to make happen." The sincerity returned to her smile. The idea of a costume was still weird, but she figured she could make do.

Kon's eyes widened and he threw his hands up in front of him shaking his head. Even if it sounded cool, they both didn't know how it worked exactly and he wasn't willing to throw himself at its mercy either.

"I'll take a pass on that if it's cool."

He grinned as she mentioned a symbol, because it was useless to act hurt when the idea was good. Not like he could stop the grin from breaking out any way.

"Cool and done."

Hayley's smile became more devious when he immediately rejected the idea of being a test subject. While she wasn't actually interested in hurting him, the idea of testing her weapon was extremely appealing.

"It's not like it's experimental. It uses energy instead of bullets and I can control the strength, so the weakest probably wouldn't even bother you. And how am I supposed to know what settings to put it at if no one helps me?"

To the latter, she simply smiled a little. Then she set her coffee aside. "Can I try your jacket?"

Well he took after Superman in that magic didn't agree with him and energy? Not exactly the best of friends. So it wasn't something he wanted to test out even if it sounded pretty cool.

"You'll probably find a test subject some time. Just y'know not me."

He cocks his head slightly at the question and then watches her suspiciously for a moment. The jacket? That was a big ask but he slowly began to take it off. Kon held onto it for a moment before he held it out for her to take.

"Be careful with my baby."

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