tushanshu_logs | As your feet, they touch the ground

Current Music: Watch The Sky For Me

Entry tags:

As your feet, they touch the ground

Characters: Korra (

alphatar), Open
Date: June 9th, Late evening
Location: Brazen Turtle (Center of Keeliai)
Situation: Doing her job
Warnings/Rating: N/A

With the recent bombings and need for the kedan to have safe housing in the foreigner’s former suites, business at the Brazen Turtle has taken a dip. Food isn’t easy to come by, though the bar managed to get enough to serve its patrons. As barback, Korra’s tending to the bar since the drinks don’t need too much stocking.

Overhead is the scale model of the Starship Enterprise she had gotten Jim for Christmas and it has her attention when there’s little to no customers. At a simple, sullen command it flies sporadically or circles over the bar where she’s at. Depending on her mood, something that’s she’s distracting herself from by wiping down the bar, even if it doesn't need it.

The ship's lights and occasional sounds are soft, but poignant as always.

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A night Korra wouldn't forget, it was the only time she had fun, gotten in trouble and learned something valuable all in one day. But she wasn't ready to have a repeat of it, not after she made her promise. Though she had been tempted while she was working the past four days.

"Have you had the omichron mix?" Korra put a clean, white towel over her shoulder as she gave Zatanna a polite smile, obviously there was a catch. "The non-alcoholic version I mean." Her tone's anything but sullen anymore, seeing Zee was always a reminder that not everyone she held close was gone.

"I have absolutely no idea what that is." Although she grinned at the non-alcoholic specification. "Sure. Give me one of whatever it was you just said."

"One O-mix coming right up." Korra said it with a bit of a ring in her tone as she turned around to take bottles down from the rack to mix with, and she put her hand on one for a moment before moving onto another one. Almost made a mistake on the non-alcoholic part.

"Did you want something from the kitchen too? The chef could probably use a wake up call." Once she had what she needed, Korra turned back to the bar and got a glass out from under the bar. "On the house." Zatanna didn't come for the meal or the drink, so Korra looked at her expectantly as she started making the drink.

"Maybe in a little bit. I'm not really hungry right now."

Korra was partially right. She wasn't there for the food or drink...although she was definitely curious about whatever it was Korra was concocting for her now. It was easy to see why the young Avatar had gotten the job. She certainly had the right demeanor for it.

"So...how've you been?"

Considering Korra's state of mind the last time they spoke--over pasta--Zatanna figured her concerns were warranted.

Once Korra had the drink all set, she popped open the small umbrella to put it in the drink. But her hand stayed steady in the air at Zatanna’s question, and Korra’s eyes settled on the effervescent, lavender liquid. A little over a year ago, Korra would have said she’s settling in.

Now she couldn’t escape from the continual disappearances of people she liked and cared about. The numbers kept growing.

Releasing the umbrella, Korra put the drink on a folded napkin and slid it over to Zatanna. She couldn’t lie or hold it in like she did last time. That was unfair to her friend, and if she was honest with herself, it wasn’t fair to herself.

Her voice dropped to a low mumble. "Jim’s gone." As was Bro, but Korra was trying to handle each empty space they left behind at a time. She looked down at the bar after wiping off a drop of the drink that was spilled. "I don’t want to be here by myself."

Taking a deep breath, Korra looked back up at Zatanna and her voice was back at its normal volume. "The bubbles aren’t like soda, it’s a really smooth drink. The kedan like it."

Her shoulder slumped. Of course. Hadn't she just gone through this with Jack? He'd lost Clara. She lost Kyle. And now Korra lost Jim...so soon after losing Mako.

"You're not by yourself." Instinctively, her hand reached out for Korra's. Giving the older girl's fingers a gentle squeeze. "I'm still here. And I'm not going anywhere. Promise."

It felt like she was alone, and Korra was looking at her hand when Zatanna squeezed her fingers.

Then her face hardened and she snapped out. "You can't promise that! Mako couldn't, Jim couldn't, Kyle couldn't, Bro couldn't, Julie couldn't, Zuko couldn't, Leo couldn't, Toph couldn't-" She had to stop. The list was big and she could go on, only it would have made her feel worse.

Putting her hands on the bar, Korra hung her head and let a harsh breath out of her mouth. That she maintained her composure since Jim left up until now was a testament to how much she actually did listen to the starship captain.

When she looked back up, she sounded tired even though there had hardly been any work to be done at the tavern. "I can't promise it either."

You do realize it's a promise he can't keep?

Superman's words to her, the day she confided in him about Jack making the very same promise to her. Because she'd asked him to. Korra wasn't asking now, but she felt compelled to make it anyway, And her response to Korra now was the exact same one she gave Superman:

"I don't care." It wasn't the reassurance of the promise itself. It was the reassurance that he wanted to promise. That he would keep it if he could. The sentiment meant far more to her than anything else. "Besides...just try and stop me."

She was too tired to get angry about it, and that was saying something considering it’s Korra. "Promising that just makes it worse when it does happen."

I know.

"Hasn’t anyone promised you that and just end up leaving anyway? They don’t get a choice." The only reason she wasn’t begrudging Mako and Jim’s recent departure. They wouldn’t have left her here if they could have decided for themselves.

She hoped so anyway.

"It's not about the fact that they have a choice or not, Korra. It's about the fact that they care enough to want to stay."

"A lot of good that does for either of us. I'm stuck here with a monster trying to destroy everything and Mako's back home at the time I left, and he's going to stay that way now until I get back home!" She's had too much, the last disappearances were the straws breaking the arctic camel's back. That anger burst through the emotional fatigue and erupted right out of her mouth.

"I didn't ask to be here! I didn't want to have to face Amon again! I didn't need to be dragged into someone else's war when my world needs me! I didn't have a say in ANY OF THIS!"

She threw the towel at the door with enough airbending behind it to fly right through it into the kitchen behind. "And wake up! We have a customer!"

So Zatanna might have instinctively ducked when Korra threw the towel, the tips of her hair just barely getting caught in the windy backlash of her bending. This...was not how she had pictured their conversation going. So, basically, business as usual. One would think she'd learned by now....

Though, to her credit, this time she didn't fault Korra for getting mad. She didn't yell back. She only waited until it looked like the coast was clear before daring to peek up and over the bar.

"I told you, I'm not hungry right now. Really. I'm fine."

The rattling of pots and pans could be heard as Korra seethed while she glared at the door. After a minute she turned back to the bar and was about to get a glass of water for herself when she saw Zatanna peeking out. Korra was still angry and she couldn't simply turn off her emotions, it wasn't that easy. That and she had been slacking in her meditation and the control techniques she learned from Bruce from what felt like ages ago.

"You can take it to go so you can have dinner later." She was trying not to flop back and forth between anger and depression. "It's just, everything is just getting more difficult." And there wasn't anything that was going to be good enough to wipe away all that's happened.

"Fine."

Once she was sure Korra wasn't going to throw a towel at her, she returned to her seat, leaning back slightly.

"Are you telling me there's not one good thing about having come here? Not one?"

"One thing? It could be five things, but there's still a thousand bad things! There's no balance." Something she started to care about the more she stayed on Tu Vishan. "We just get the worst and have everything happen to us and hold on to the one good thing we have. And it's not even our home or our families."

She slammed open the glass rack under the bar and yanked a glass out to pour herself some ice water, or it became ice water as soon as she was done pouring.

"That one good thing isn't enough anymore."

"Korra..." Not for the first time, Zatanna simply didn't see it the same way. How long ago had she confided to the young Avatar that she was actually on the fence about even wanting to go home (yet)? "You don't mean that. We're here to help, remember? That's why they dragged us all here. Voluntary or otherwise...we're making a difference."

Shouldn't that count for something?

"I can't spend the rest of my life were I don't belong helping a world that isn't my own! What about my planet? I'm the only person who can keep balance in it, I need to go back to save it. I've seen my future. If Evandau can stop me, then he can take care of that monster instead of having me do it."

The water's enough to give Korra a brainfreeze as she drinks it to cool off, but she simply increases her body temperature at the back of her throat to finish the glass.

"Nobody said we would be here for the rest of our lives, Korra."

...was that literal steam coming out of her mouth?

That's steam.

"And no one's telling us we aren't. I've been here for a year, you've been here longer than that! Do you really want to stay here for years trying to figure out how to stop that thing?"

"I..." I still don't know. Her shoulder slumped. "I don't want to fight any more than you do."

"Not like we can do anything about it." Except be angry apparently, but right now Korra would take what she could get. "I'm just sick and tired ofnot having a choice on what's going on and not knowing if the next day someone else is going to be gone or if I'm going to wake up at home."

She went quiet. Almost eerily so. Her expression blanked, eyes staring at Korra, unreadable for a long moment. As if she were trying to gauge her words as carefully and precisely as possible:

"Now you know why I want to think more about the present than the future. And make every day with the people I love who are still here count."

"I'm running out of the people I love. I can count you guys on one hand." Her tone was terse, but not nearly as much. Especially since she lowered its volume. "Mako probably would have said 'Ignoring it isn't going to make it go away.' or something."

The smell of cooked rice was filling the bar, and Korra headed off towards the kitchen door to tell the chef not to cook any meat. Something she'd gotten used to between hanging out with Zatanna and formerly living with Aang.

"I just hate this whole thing."

"All the more reason to keep the rest of you close."

Even Korra's mood wasn't enough to sway her of that opinion.

"You don't have to hold back because of me, Korra. If you're going to eat, and you want a steak or something, I promise I won't be offended."

Since the cook was going through all this trouble...and Korra was currently dealing with certain abandonment issues...she wasn't about to take her food and run. Even if she wasn't hungry, she might as well nibble a bit.

"I haven’t eaten anything yet." Said a bit off, as if it was something else’s fault instead of hers. Eating had become a random occurrence for Korra and she gave a sigh before heading over to the kitchen again to have her meal be made as well.

She came back with Zatanna’s plate and set it on the bar along with the napkin wrapped utensils. "Sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you. I mean, I did then, but not now." Not the best apology, but maybe she could get points for trying.

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