tushanshu_logs | (no subject)

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(no subject)

Characters: Hayley & OPEN
Date: June 25th (or the next couple days)
Location: Hayley's sweet new digs or outside in the Metal Sector
Situation: Roommate shenanigans, Hayley coming out of hiding to be social again, whatever..
Warnings/Rating: None yet.

Hayley had done her best to avoid people for the last few weeks, trying to regain a more objective view of the situation and of her relationships. These friendships were getting harder to avoid and while part of her wanted to accept them, there remained a voice in the back of her mind warning her of the dangers of embracing these people. Moving had been a very unwelcome break in the monotony, but a joyous excuse for helping her in hiding away in a nice place and pretending she didn't exist. She kept contact, of course; it was the bare minimum required to keep anyone from thinking she had disappeared from the turtle.

Now, finally, boredom has overcome her and so instead of taking her food to her room and leaving for work at odd hours, Hayley was returning to a more standard routine. It meant she was more likely to run into people and to have to be friends again. She knew that and was slightly apprehensive about it, but the part of her that wanted those kinds of connections had inevitably won out and she found herself missing Bart and Kon and the others after enough time.

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There may have been a flash of anger at the way she had asked that question. He didn't appreciate it, he may have left her and come back changed, but it didn't mean she had to be a bitch about it. Not about something like death.

"Horribly." He was short, and the anger that had come to his expression was low in his voice. He didn't feel like right now, there was no need for her to actually know how it happened. Maybe if she approached it different, after all he hadn't been a dick to her about it even though she'd attacked Kal.

But he was fine with moving on and leaving it, focussing on other emotions right now. Leaving that discussion for another time potentially.

"We were together for two years I guess and you got me. Damn."

"Then you know how it feels." She didn't blame him for being angry, regardless of the reason. Kon had understood Hayley better than anyone else left on this stupid turtle and she had understood him better than most, at the least. She wasn't sure if that was still possible with him being so much older and wiser now, cheating time in a strange way. Dying a horrible death certainly helped. It was something she never would have wished upon him but which she selfishly appreciated in that passive reach for empathy.

"I'm sorry." Not for what she said, but for his death. "You didn't deserve that, even if you're an asshole sometimes."

It was said without humor, but Hayley forced a small smile after to suggest that it was meant as a friend. His willingness to banter with her suggested it might be possible to get along again. Even though he looked like that.

"Anything cool happen while you were gone? Met your childhood hero, developed a new power, lost your virginity? It couldn't have all been bad."

And yet somehow he didn't feel great at the fact it was something they shared. He hadn't doubted that dying would be a horrible experience. Before he left, he'd already been told he was going to die and come back. But it's different knowing it and forgetting it when it actually matters. His death hadn't been quick. It had been long and brutal, painful to the point he was so broken he couldn't hold on any more.

"No one deserves it." No one good any way. No one decent. Even his enemies, they didn't deserve it because what they did, death was far too good for them. Death was the cheats way out for them. He didn't take it as a dig, it was true sometimes after all.

"Two out of three. Never had a childhood to have a hero so..."

Hayley kept silent on the matter of who did and did not deserve death. She wasn't entirely sure what Kon's views were but she suspected that they mirrored all the other heroes, that no one deserved to die regardless of their crimes and so on. It was something she never agreed with and she was trying to avoid that kind of fight right now.

"You stud," she teased, flashing a smirk. "Cassie? How old were you? What's the power? Why did you break up with her anyway?"

"Wow, wow calm down on the questions."

He held up his hands but played with a smile. It was sinking in with every minute that things were just so different now. It was also obvious that they were both working around it, trying not to leave things awkward, but not denying that they were.

"Not a lot younger than I am, she's really only one of two people I've been with and I was kinda too young to do anything with Tana. It just wasn't working with what we both wanted to do. I wanted t focus on life as Conner as well and she wanted to focus on leading the team."

She'd asked about his power and to be honest, that was something he was more than happy to talk about and leave the topic of Cassie alone. He stilled loved her and probably always would, but it had just happened for him so it was still fresh and still something he thought about. Though it was both surprising and not, that he found it so easy to talk to Hayley about it. So to get on with his power, Kon held a hand close to his mouth and blew out gently onto it.

His breath came out like a slow flow of smoke and wrapped around his fingers with the shimmer seen in snow. The longer he blew out against his hand the quicker the smoke formed into ice around his fingers. He stopped and clenched his hand into a fist and broke the ice off.

"Freeze breath. Handy for those hot as balls days when your drink gets too warm."

Hayley offered a tight smile when he told her to calm down. Although she knew it was meant to be a joke, it only exacerbated the awkwardness and distance she already felt with him. Her hands tensed between the door and her back, her shoulders somewhat joining them while hoping he wouldn't notice. She focused on his answers, trying to calm down as quickly as possible.

"I asked how old you were, not her. But I- it's not important," she replied lightly, flashing another disingenuous smile, one more sincere than the last but which Kon might realize still didn't quite reach her eyes.

Then he was showing off his power and, for a split second, Hayley was afraid. She immediately reclaimed logic and her trust in him, watching with sincere interest and curiosity. Her smirk was finally genuine when the broken ice fell to the ground and he commented on the ability.

"Cool." A beat. "I mean.. awesome, or whatever."

The more things he noticed, the harder a lot of this was actually feeling. Though he made a point not to actually focus on it. Notice it, acknowledge it, yes. But to let her know that he had noticed would just make things worse. Well, make them worse in a more obvious manner because it seemed that even slight actions and words were enough to make things more difficult. If he had been brought back here before the incident with Lex, then the chances were high that even though there friendship had been strong, he would have bailed. Would have told her to 'just forget it' and left through the window. But he was different than that now. Valued everything so much more.

"I meant me. Like a year or something."

Again that hadn't been such a simple thing. He'd been dead for a while, revived in the future and sent back to the present. So working out time was a little off, especially when the year he had been dead to others, had actually been over a thousand years and to him practically a blink of the eye.

Kon shuffled on his feet, a brow raised just enough to be noticed if she looked.

"That was terrible."

"Oh," she accepted. This time, Hayley didn't force the smile, watching him with a bland neutrality as she tried to think on the larger issue of their friendship - or whatever this was. She was never good with friendships. She had told him that more than once and yet somehow wasn't surprised that he was still here, trying, willing to put in the effort. It almost made her feel guilty that she wasn't as dedicated. Almost.

"I didn't mean it." The retort was swift, though not as entirely amused as it should have been.

Hayley pulled her lower lip between her teeth as she looked at him, shoulders relaxing as she simply stared at him. His words were reassurances that he was still the same guy, each joke and jest more evidence than the last. But he still seemed so much older, uncomfortably so, and the physical awkwardness between them just seemed to keep growing.

A million thoughts raced through her mind before she finally sighed, straightening from the door. "Don't move."

She slowly walked over toward him, clearly hesitant bordering on afraid the closer she got.

"Uh huh, sure you didn't."

It really had been terrible and Kon couldn't tell if she had meant it or not. Though to be honest it didn't really matter either way.

When she told him not to move, he couldn't hide his curiosity. He didn't know what she was going to do or why he was to be still, but the curiosity grew to concern as he could literally sense how she was feeling. The tension in the air was thick and he wouldn't admit to it but he could hear her heart. Hear that fear. So he did as he was told for her sake. Kon stood still, arms by his side and feet slightly apart like he had been before she spoke. He didn't want to frighten her. To be the cause of her fear, the reason her heart beat in such a way. Careful not to watch her, only look now and then so she didn't feel like she was being studied. Or the one being studied instead of him? He didn't know if that was what she would be doing.

Hayley started feeling a little better when she finally stood in front of him, even as her heart pounded for fear that he might change his mind. Logically, she wasn't afraid of anything he would do, but having asked him not to move, she was terrified that he would. Feelings weren't logical.

She reached her hand up and pressed it gently against the center of his chest, letting it rest there for a short stretch of silence. She stared at her fingers on his shirt as she did, rather than look at him, appearing almost confused. Finally she dropped her hand away as her brows twitched into anger, cocked back, and punched him in the jaw. It was halfhearted at best and she immediately uncurled her fist and began shaking her hand as if that might alleviate the pain of punching an El.

"It's not fair that you can all do whatever you want and the rest of us are just supposed to deal with it!" She yelled at him, although it was more with amicable frustration than any intense anger. Hayley's heart still pounded in her chest, feeling better about punching him and yet still unnerved. This was the closest to normal she had felt with him since his return, even as she glared at him and continued shaking her hand.

It was strange how much he had settled into the roll of Conner back home and how, halfhearted or not, his head turned with the hit slightly. It didn't hurt and he barely felt it, but his eyes had widened as he stared at the door where Hayley had been. The punch hadn't been expected, he knew she was angry, he saw it, heard it, felt it. But he hadn't expected Hayley to punch him. His posture dropped after she yelled at him.

He turned his head and looked at her. Nothing, he couldn't think of a damn thing to say to her. Nothing that would make the situation better. No words that would calm her.

"I'm sorry."

It was heartfelt. It was sincere and he meant it. It wasn't said to brush anything away. It was said because he was sorry. Sorry that he'd made Hayley feel this way.

Hayley frowned at him, with the way he turned his head, knowing he didn't feel the hit at all. She felt exasperated, afraid, and relieved all at once. The fact that he apologized, otherwise unmoving, only served to frustrate her more. Because she knew he was sorry. But sorry didn't really matter to her. Either what he did was okay - and she should forgive him - or it wasn't - and they were done. Hayley didn't like the games in between, especially dealing with the feelings that accompanied them.

She slowly turned the thought over in her mind. Kon was a good friend. He was a powerful ally and one who would definitely look out for her and protect her. If she insisted he leave her alone, he might, but she would have to explain it to Bart and Clark and possibly others. It would mean another El with an awkward history, another one to avoid. She hated the petty games of avoidance almost as much as dealing with feelings.

"Okay." Hayley wanted Kon as a friend. She wanted that reassurance of her darker aspects, someone who would forgive her in spite of everything she had done and would accept her all the same. It made her angry that she couldn't seem to find a way to keep him from abandoning her, hated that he was hot and vaguely like both Clark and her father. But she wasn't ready to waste all that time and effort, not when he was such a good one to have on her side.

"There's this guy from back home? He was a total asshole pedophile creep in the worst way. You kind of look like him sometimes." She lifted a hand to scratch at her hair, then dropped it again as she moved to sit on the edge of her bed. Noticing he remained still, she waved a hand dismissively. "You can move or whatever."

A beat. "I don't want to lose my best friend."

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