I don't wanna be abandoned

[andaway]

Characters: Clark Kent (not Superman) & OPEN
Date: July-8ish until Landfall
Location: TU-HAO (Clark's suite, and the radio headquarters)
Situation: Lois is gone. Clark is fine.
Warnings/Rating: Clark being an idiot?

Lois was gone, and Clark was fine.

They had both known it could happen, it had actually been really weird that they had both spent so much time together in this place. A lot had come and gone but they had held on, stuck together, they had been there for one another. But it was pretty stupid to assume it would be like that forever but he had hoped, because he always did, that maybe they could enjoy some years together in this place before ne of them got pulled back home and left the other behind. No such luck, and one morning he’d had to wake up and announce to the radio, to anyone that listened, Lois’ name amount the disappearances.

But he was fine.

Because she wasn’t Gone, the big G, the scary word. She had just gone back home, and that was all right. She had gone back to Perry, Jimmy, Cat and their actual journalist work. So Clark did his own work, and handled things as best as he could. Grocery shopping, work for the radio, try to keep up with friendships and such even if he wasn’t feeling like it at the moment.

Because doing otherwise, because mourning her would be egoistical, hypocritical and just plain wrong. Missing her when she wasn’t really gone meant wanting her back, meant pulling her back from their home into- into this. This war. And he wasn’t going to do that to her. So he went on with his day, a mask on his face.

So he was (mostly) fine.

Comments

[everylittlegirl]

Hayley stopped at his words, a collection of papers in her arms, turning to look at him. She couldn't tell if he was politely trying to get rid of her here at the radio or if this was a gesture that she should be accepting, an equal attempt at peace. After a beat, she shrugged, speaking as she turned to set the papers where they could wait for further attention.

"I'm glad you're still eating." It was a throwback to the words he had given her not long ago, when she was avoiding people, the ones she had told him to save.

[andaway]

He let out a laugh, obviously getting the reference- but he actually had to stop himself from telling her not to be parental. It would have been a joke, yes, but he didn't want to risk her taking it the wrong way. Both of them were kind of on edge around each other, and it pained him to admit he did, sometimes, also take her words in the worlds possible way.

"You'd be surprised how much I actually eat. But I eat vegan, I only have vegan food in the kitchen, so if you want something with meat in it we'll have to go out."

[everylittlegirl]

Hayley felt a sense of pride in pulling a laugh from him, knowing how distraught he was beneath the level facade. It felt like a talent. Or, at least, she had every intention of treating it as one and patting herself on the back rather than assume anyone he knew might elicit the same response.

"You pick the place," she replied, a simultaneous agreement to go out and consideration of his limitations. "I'm all for tofu and whatever, but why not meat? Is that like, some weird alien thing? Wait- Can you talk to animals? Oh my god. You're like a Disney princess."

It was an old habit, slipping back into that juvenile persona when she was nervous. Hayley was, at her core, still a teenager and she appreciated classic immature tricks like playing dumb and extreme hyperbole. They were fun, easy, and worked well.

[andaway]

He raised an eyebrow, as if confused- but it was hard to hide the amusement from his face.

“That’s actually the third time someone has called me that in the turtle, without any kind of prompting. Do I have the face of someone who’s going to randomly burst into a song?” But he didn’t give her time to reply- partly just in case she said yes, and partly because he didn’t want to explain he had actually defeated Darkseid by singing, once.

“But no, it’s a bit more complicated than that. I see the aura of sentient beings when they are alive, see colors and brightness and… “ He hesitated, looking at her as if trying to find the words to describe what he was seeing. “It can’t be explained if you can’t see it, like it’s hard to explain green to someone who’s never seen the color. “But when life is gone that aura turns all dark, and black, and it sucks everything around it.

It’s something hard to see. So I try to avoid it.”

[everylittlegirl]

It was probably for the best that Clark cut her off before she had opportunity to respond. Otherwise she would have said yes, might have explained how it had less to do with his singing and more to do with his baseless optimism or naive faith in humanity's automatic capacity for good. Now wasn't the time for any of those arguments. Hayley was all too grateful for the excuse not to engage in them and took the out he offered by explaining instead of continuing the potential joke.

"I never really thought of animals as sentient," she replied lightly. By the strict definition of the word, they very much were. She often considered the word to imply a higher level of intelligence or self-awareness, however, and didn't associate it with the majority of animals, particularly not those they ate. "So animals have an aura, but not plants. Is it all animals? Like what about earthworms or jellyfish?"

[andaway]

He shakes his head. "It's more complicated than that, it's not related to the nervous system. It's more of a general awareness? Plants do have aura, actually, it's just different. I really wish I could explain what I mean by 'different', but to make it easier let's say it's like different colors but not like that at all. When a lion dies their energy sucks me in, it's like a black hole. It sucks all happiness, it's... it's hard to watch, I just have to look away.

When I pick a tomato up the aura simply disappears? Not to mention it's also personal preference. I could drink milk or eat unfertilized eggs, they have no aura. It was my choice in the end, what I told you just..." A shrug. "Nudged it along a bit. Plus, I do need to eat."

[everylittlegirl]

Hayley sighed, not bothering to hide the frustration behind the forced exhale. No matter how much or how often she might try to ignore the stark differences between them, there was always something to remind her that she wasn't one of them, that she was a normal teenage girl to all their superpowers and that she didn't belong in their world. It was something that had been building over time, with Bart's insistence she not fight and Clark not getting why his existence was terrifying. Kon understood better than anyone else, but even he agreed he couldn't quite get it.

"You guys have your powers and alien thing and I'll never get it. Forget I asked, okay? You don't eat meat, so we'll go somewhere vegetarian." She knew it sounded more dismissive than she intended. The girl tried to play it off like she might an astronaut explaining the feeling of weightlessness, but she couldn't deny the slight bitterness at the back of her mind whenever she thought of the many separations between them.

"Any place in mind?"

[andaway]

Usually he'd push it. Try to make her understand, or at least try to figure out just what he'd said wrong that time when she'd been the one who asked. It seemed like she kept always asking questions, which considering his job he obviously approved of... but then she was never happy with the answers she got.

But right then at that very moment he was sad. Tired. Still processing the loss of his wife- except it wasn't a loss, not really, she'd just gone back home and he was not allowed to be sad which only made the whole thing even more exhausting. So he just wanted to share a meal with someone, without arguing. Without discussions, without getting metaphysical.

So he simply pointed at a food place nearby. "That's where I usually go. The Kedan don't really have a concept for 'vegan', not when the food is so scarce, but in there they mark what has meat and what doesn't in the menu so it makes it easier."

[everylittlegirl]

"Cool. So we can find vegetarian even though they serve meat," she replied, restating his point partially to ensure understanding and partially just to fill time and space between them. Hayley could feel the light tension that always seemed to ebb and flow around the pair, that built when they spoke of anything to do with his heroic side or her ambiguous attitudes, that waned when they both made the effort to keep things simple. Simple was easier, but she was beginning to hate it with him. It was false in a way that she didn't enjoy, too obvious to be a challenge.

She pursed her lips for a moment before turning to look up at him again. "I'm sorry, about Lois. I don't really know what it's like to lose someone you're close to like that, but.."

Again her gaze shifted away. Hayley only realized after the fact how telling it might be, if he realized her father was dead and how distant they were. Sometimes she wanted to tell him outright, to stop dropping unintentional breadcrumbs and just get it over with. But she couldn't bring herself to do it. Couldn't trust him enough. Not after his sneer in the bottle, the cutting words of hate. Possessed or not, he knew just where to stab.

[andaway]

"It'd be easier, if I'd lost her." He confessed, sighing a bit under his breath- and then automatically regretting his words.

"No, scratch that. It would not be easier, and I hope I won't have to find out what 'losing' her is like until we're old enough, happy enough with how our lives have turned to let it go.

But at least then I'd get closure, I'd know she's in a better place. Now it's like..." He chewed on his lower lip, a habit he'd never had when Lois was around. "It's like she's nearby, but I can't quite reach her. I can only wait and do my best to help those who actually have a chance to bring us back home."

Then he turned towards her again, a sad smile on his lips as he opens the door for her. "But it's a good thing, to know you haven't had to go through that yet. I knew it... pretty early, since I always knew my birth parents had died. You can definitely cry the loss of people you haven't known."

forever late due to hiatus; feel free to drop

[everylittlegirl]

Hayley was quiet as he waxed poetic about what it was like, to be away from someone he was likely intertwined with forever if you were the type to believe in destiny or fate or any of that crap. She had never known it and had trouble fully understanding it now, even knowing what he meant. She met his eyes when he looked at her before moving through the door and then pausing a split second to wait for him to catch up and walk beside her again.

"Sometimes it's better not to know what they're really like on the inside."