tushanshu_logs | October Catch-All

Entry tags:

October Catch-All

Characters: Katara, Open
Date: October
Location: Wood Sector mostly
Situation: Katara's Balancing Act
Warnings/Rating:Lots and lots of hurt feels

Katara, as of late, is stuck in a very tentative balance between her own healing and doing her best to be the strength of those around her. She's starting to wear thin and is far too close to breaking, but she's determined not to let it interfere with her aiding the others.

Stresses/Situations include:

-Physically, Katara has yet to heal completely from Zuko's fire.
-The entire poisoned Zuko situation. Her efforts to heal him have been completely ineffective, for which she feels personally guilty. She's having to watch him fall apart and can do nothing to stop him. There's no way to help him carry his burden except to let him hurt her, which, unfortunately for her friends and brother, she's willing to do. She is also battling romantic feelings toward him as well: this level of dedication to someone's wellbeing definitely has an effect on the heart, and she is no exception. The fact that they arrived together out of a particularly desperate moment back home also doesn't help. (Or does it)
-Though her own turtle was spared, Katara is devastated over the murder of the babies, particularly Korra's.
-She's well aware that her bloodbending capability is emotionally scarring, and now she's having to watch over a hurt and very hesitant avatar. She's healing him in silence (after the Kedan's fail assassination attempt) when he allows her near enough, but the tension is wearing her down to the point of actual frustration, both toward him and herself.

She will, however, attempt to hide as many of these as she can from everyone including Aang, her brother, and Akito, lest she be even more of a burden on an already dark situation.

(( Threads are open to any situation you like :) ))

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"And you can control someone's very body against their will," he replied back. His tone wasn't gentle, but it wasn't harsh. Matter of fact and just a little bitter, hurt. "It was sickening. The way his arms jerked back and his chest sunk forward. Unnatural. Wrong."

Wan's hands stilled against Mula and his eyes finally opened again, "But he asked me to let you heal me even though you did that."

Her voice grew weaker, her head lower. "I know... I-I'm sorry..." There was no way she could ever justify her actions. She had made a poor choice in using that specific method to save him, and she would never forget it.

This time, when his eyes opened, her head was bowed and she was curled in more than usual.

"For what it's worth... I'm glad he did. I still can't fully believe he's forgiven me for it, but you really needed to have someone take care of you."

He had forgiven her for the unthinkable, just as she had done for burning her, and that in itself was enough to give her hope, even when talking to Wan. Thought of them discussing the matter gave her a curious itch, though, and though she averted her eyes entirely, she added,

"Thank you for taking care of him when I...when I couldn't..."

Even if things were strange and painful, she owed him that much at least.

Wan's eyes moved to look at her finally. Just for a second. At least that was what he'd intended. But his gaze lingered on her. She was folded in on herself, small, scared. She looked nothing like the powerful and forceful waterbender she'd been that night. Covered in burns and moving as though they meant nothing. Right up until she collapsed. That was the most frightening part about her. The inner strength she had. A will that unshakable could control nearly anyone if they knew how. And she did.

How was it she could look so different now? Tiny, weak, defeated.

He had to tear his eyes away and fight to remind himself of what she was capable of. What she was really like. He couldn't lie to himself and pretend she was faking it now, but he didn't want to forget what she was.

But he also couldn't forget what Zuko had said about her. What Zuko had asked of him. And what Aang and Korra had both said about her. And Sokka, too. All of them insisting she was a good person. Someone to trust.

"Zuko..." Wan started, taking a deep breath. But he didn't finish. He didn't really know what to say to her. So he just let the name linger in the air.

She could feel his eyes on her, and though she didn't look up and knew it was most likely unintentional, the pressure made her even more wary than before. She was a villain in his eyes, even after she had healed him, and she knew it. Her power was unmistakable, and it scared her that she had been so easily able to wield it. He had every right to be afraid, to despise her. But while common ground had given her the benefit of the doubt, her hope began to crumble as his name was spoken as it was. The longer it lingered in the air, the more the coil in her stomach tightened uncomfortably once more.

"You two have gotten... close..." she whispered, doing her best to keep her voice from shaking and stating the obvious at the start of the discussion she knew was inevitable. She didn't want to talk about this. She didn't want to even think about it. Every time she did, it made her want to be irrational, to go out and sink into the river and let the water wash away everything she had seen.

But she had to know. If not for her own sake, then Zuko's later on.

Wan's head moved in an even slower nod, his hair bunching up against the mattress. He drew his knees up and curled them to the side, making them fall away from Katara so they didn't end up falling against her.

"We did," he mumbled, feeling a little sick to his stomach. "He..." Wan didn't think Zuko was mad at him. But he was probably weirded out. Upset maybe. He shouldn't have done that. Especially knowing Zuko's mental state wasn't exactly stable. But he'd been comfortable and Zuko had been right there. He hadn't pulled away until-

Until Katara and Aang showed up.

Everything had been okay until then.

"He's a good friend."

As his hair bunched up, she reached forward tentatively to gently brush it back from his eyes, smoothing it away from his face, just as she had done with Zuko.

"He is," she agreed to his quiet sentiment after a few longer beats. Whether misunderstanding him or subconsciously trying to redirect the conversation, she agreed.

"It didn't start out that way, though... at least, not for me."

Story time?

Wan went still under her touch, his jaw tightening. He didn't move to push her hand away, to pull his head out from under her fingers, to put Mula between them. He didn't move at all. He didn't even breathe. He stayed completely still until she was done and had drawn her hand back to her lap.

His first breath after that was rushed, a relief. He kept his eyes on the wall, "Aang told me you were enemies before, when I brought Zuko to him after he arrived."

But he actually heard how that happened or why. Just that there was a lot of regret involved on Zuko's part.

She drew her hand back immediately and buried both of them in her lap with a squeaked 'sorry!'. Obviously that wasn't going to soothe anyone, and she instantly regretted trying.

"We were," she confirmed, bowing her head at the thought. "Zuko... he really hurt us on more than one occasion. I was the first to trust him, but then he turned his back on me and Aang was nearly killed..."

Memories of being locked away with the firebender in the catacombs were never her favorite to think back on, and yet she visited them frequently. Until now, she had always been curious about that small spark that had begun in that moment, during that first real conversation.

Unwanted tears gathered in her eyes without warning, as those memories led into their last conversation, the conversation during which she had trusted him with everything.

"When he did finally come around and joined our side, I was the last to trust him," she continued, fighting through the emotions. She didn't need to be this pathetic in front of Wan. She refused to be. "During that time, he taught Aang firebending, and helped rescue my father from prison with Sokka... I didn't actually forgive him until after he helped me find the man who had killed my mother."

Wan's eyes drifted back to her as she spoke. She and Zuko had shared so much more than he and Zuko had. They'd gone through a lot together. And Katara's trust was hard won for Zuko. But it was complete trust. He could see that, both in how Zuko had spoken and in how Katara talked of him now.

He shut his eyes again and gave a soft sigh before speaking in a weary tone, "I never knew my parents."

It was an easier topic to talk about. And if he was going to force himself to offer his trust to her, he needed it to be easier. Starting there seemed appropriate, considering she was speaking of her mother. Dead or not.

Misty eyes lifted at Wan's admittance. She hadn't expected him to tell her anything about himself, and the surprise made her heart skip a beat. It almost seemed like a step toward getting to know each other.

"I'm sorry... Who took care of you as you grew up?" she asked, never forceful, but encouraging that step. "With mom gone, and my dad helping fight in the war, my GranGran took care of me and Sokka."

"I did," he said, voice still soft, tired. So tired. "I took care of myself until I was seven or so. Then Yao, a hunter, took me in and took care of me. A couple years after that, he took in Jaya. And a year after that, I had to start taking care of both of them. We moved out of the city, off the streets and into a shack in the trees we built ourselves with scrap wood. I spent every day trying to get my hands on just a few scraps of food for all three of us. Until I finally got so fed up with having no power... that I took it."

Wan opened his eyes and looked at Katara, "Do you remember the story I told the children in the hospital the day you arrived? About the boy who stole fire?"

Edited 2014-10-20 22:52 (UTC)

She could see how tired he was, but while she was torn between leaving him to rest and staying to talk, she opted the latter, too hopeful to give up on what could be an incredibly rare chance to gain his trust and offer more of her own. She listened attentively, truthfully intrigued by his story. It... really sounded very odd, coming from the first ever Avatar, but fitting, given what she had seen of Wan. Her heart when out to him, though it was all in his past, and when he admitted to taking power, her eyes widened a little.

He'd find her still wide eyed when he turned to look at her, but she quickly dropped her gaze for a moment, then looked up with a slightly apologetic expression. "Sort of? I, uh... was kind of distracted..." She had, afterall, just been reuinited with her friends, one who, in her world, had just left to fight his final battle with the firelord and the other who had just been lying in the dirt with lightning coursing through his body at full force.

"But I remember you telling the children that that's the story you were going to tell. Was it about you?"

He nodded and shifted his eyes to Mula, still idly petting her while she purred heavily into his chest.

"Yes. I wasn't born with the power to use the elements," he said in a neutral tone, knowing how that would sound to her. "No human was. I don't know when they will be, between my era and yours. But they weren't."

"There were no benders? How did you steal the power?"

The idea was positively baffling.

"I convinced a group of hunters to let me leave the city with them. When hunters went out, they asked the Lion Turtle for the Power of Fire to use as protection against the spirits in the Spirit Wilds," he began. Telling this story was fairly easy. He'd told less detailed versions to the children at the hospital and to Leonardo.

"Once we were outside the city and in the forest, I pretended to be too scared to keep going and they sent me back to the city. Told me to give the fire back to the Lion Turtle, but didn't follow me to see if I did. I went back and I took the Power of Fire into the city. I broke the Lion Turtle's rules and stole Fire. I used that power to lead a raid on the food stores of the Chou Family. Their family had been chosen by the Lion Turtle further back than anyone could remember to rule over the city. They hoarded food even when so many within the walls went hungry. They cared about their power, not their citizens.

"I was caught, but I was the only one. They took me before the Lion Turtle and banished me. But I convinced the Lion Turtle to let me keep the Power of Fire so I could protect myself in the Spirit Wilds. No one expected me to last the night. Not even me."

"Wait, you got the Power from a lion turtle?" At this point, she was completely intrigued and admittedly confused. She listens as he continues, more and more curious as he goes. So he used it to help the people...

That... sounded familiar. She smiles weakly as it resonates with her own memories of doing something similar for the people of Jang Hui. Maybe she and Wan weren't so different.

Hearing that he had been captured, she found, was more surprising than she imagined it should have been. He was the avatar. To think of him younger and without all the power didn't sound like the avatar she had very much imagined when Aang had explained who Wan was. Simple beginnings, though, sometimes held more value than would seem.

"But you did," she says, not caring how obvious the fact is now. "How? What happened next?"

She's almost as eager as a child, and clearly just as curious. The way her blue eyes watch him says it all.

"I managed to scrape myself out of a few terrifying encounters with the creatures of the Spirit Wilds," he answered as his eyes drifted to Mula and he finally smiled. "I met Mula the next morning. She was caught in a hunter's net. The same hunters I had tricked into letting me come with them. I climbed the tree she was hanging from and was going to get her down. The hunters came back before I could. But I got their attention and led them away from her."

He leaned his head forward to nuzzle Mula's cheek and she turned to nuzzle him back, happy for the attention.

"The hunters caught up with me and were probably going to kill me. But the Aye-Aye Spirit, a Spirit who guarded an oasis I had come across, stopped the hunters and saved me. He brought me back to the oasis and put me in the water. I was healed nearly instantly. I lived with those Spirits for a year. A Spirit Dragon taught me to control the power of fire and I helped protect the oasis from the humans of the the Lion Turtle I was born in. And Mula has been with me since."

Her eyes lifted to the cat deer as he told of their introduction, watching the two interact. She was a beautiful creature, and a part of her longed to reach out and pet her herself.

But she didn't, not wanting to upset either of them as Wan continued his story.

She shook her head slowly in disbelief as she took it all in. Spirit dragons and Lion turtles and Aye Aye Spirits? "That's...really incredible, Wan... The time I come from is nothing like all of that."

Her brow furrowed and she looked down at her hands. "Did the spirits teach you how to make the spirit water, too?"

Wan leaned his head to the side so he could see Katara and give her the most incredulous look, "Make spirit water? I can't make spirit water. That's not how it works."

She returned his look with one of her own, completely baffled. "But you just did."

She paused, then, remembering the last she had heard him talk about the water. There's some somewhere on the turtle.

"...wait, you didn't know?!"

"I haven't-" he started, and stopped as she asked about him not knowing. His confusion was great enough that for the moment it overpowered and drowned out the other feelings he had. Most obviously his fear and discomfort with her presence, "What are you talking about?"

Mula lifted her head off Wan's chest to look at Katara with her deep green eyes, also curious as to what was going on. Wan was getting a lot more animated.

She tensed with both their eyes on her, her own widening. "I couldn't have healed something that bad without it. You touched me and the water I was using turned into Spirit Water," she told him nervously, not daring to take her eyes away from his.

How could he not know what he was capable of?

...What else was he capable of?

Wan pushed himself up, so he could sit, his legs still keeping away from Katara. He winced as his actions pulled on the wound and the muscles strained a bit. But it was nothing at all like it had been when she'd entered the room.

"I know you used spirit water," he replied, putting his hand to his side. "I could tell. But I didn't make it. You got it from my room. You had to have."

Right?

"Your room?" She shook her head, leaning back a little and watching him carefully.

"No... I heard you in here and came in thinking you were going to throw me out again, and when you let me heal you you... you did. You changed it. I could feel it."

Her shoulders stayed tense.

"But I can't do that," he protested. Sure, he'd been the only one to find any of the Spirit Water so far, but he was really the only one who knew how to recognize it. There was no way could have made Spirit Water. That was imposs-

But what if it wasn't?

"I- I've never... How?"

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