tushanshu_logs | February Catch All

Entry tags:

February Catch All

Characters: Valdis and you!
Date: The Month of February
Location: Noted in the starters
Situation: Various
Warnings/Rating: None yet

A) Before the 5th, Keeliai's Markets: After acquiring the angelic sword, Revelations, Valdis has found herself in need of some supplies in order to make a sheath worthy of the blade. She has enough coin to obtain what she needs and it helps that the Kedan are currently trying to put on a good face for the Ambassadors. She is quickly evaluating the attitude of the store owners and either purchasing or moving on, aware that this window of niceties might be quite narrow.

B) Midnight Hotel: When she isn't out in the city or exploring the surrounding areas, Valdis can be found in the common area, reading up on the history of Keeliai or going over her extensive, hand-written notes on the current issues the foreigners are facing in the city. If one is lucky, they may catch her in the lobby of the hotel, or if someone is ambitious and unafraid, they may find her in her room, though if she is sleeping, wake her at your own risk

C) Before the 5th, Turtle's Head: The cold didn't bother her much and she sat near the turtles head, looking out over the water at Khatronma, marveling at the dome from a distance. Revelations is at her hip, glowing softly in the early morning light. The last time she had been here it had been to possess the turtle in an attempt to help Wan oust Malicant from the ancient entity. It had also been where she had used the Void to kill four of the cultists attacking her and her friends. So many memories and none of the peace that had once been attached to this place.

D) Start your Own: Please give a location and a setup.

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Wan still hesitated, though his hand remained where she'd place it, "It won't kill you, will it? You can heal yourself even from apparent death, right?"

She smiled sadly, "The death isn't apparent, Wan. When I fought with Anton, he did kill me. I was truly dead, but the darkness exchanged another soul for mine and so I came back."

She shook her head, "But no, it won't kill me. It will merely force the darkness to retreat."

Wan shut his eyes and took a deep breath before he finally closed his hand over the hilt. He didn't like weapons much, but as long as it wouldn't kill her, he could handle doing as she asked.

"Okay," he managed to get out. "I'm not very good with weapons, but if this will help you without killing you, I'll do what's needed."

She smiled, released his hand as he gripped the weapon and slipped the sheath off of the blade, which began to glow brightly, the red gem flashing with light. She stepped back, letting him hold the sword without her aid.

"Congratulations," she said, "Revelations will lend you its power should you ever need it." Her smile faded somewhat, "Although I hope it will never come to that."

He held it up only briefly before reaching out for the sheath so he could put it away. He didn't want to look at it any longer than he had to.

"I'm only promising this because it won't kill you," he choked out, on the verge of tears. Wan went to pull her into another hug regardless of where the sword was at the moment, "If you ever feel the darkness tugging at you again, just come to me. We'll talk, we'll mediate, we'll... whatever you need to push it back without harming you. Please."

She was slightly surprised when he reached for the sheath and she quickly slipped it back onto the blade before he pulled her back into another hug. He was upset over what she had asked, a fact which she understood and she hated at the same time.

"It's ok," She replied, hugging him back, "I promise that I will come to you if I need to. This is just a second to last resort, chances are it will never get that far...Please don't cry."

Wan shook his head, rubbing his nose roughly against her shoulder, "No. I'm sorry, but I'm not going to stop. I can't. You're asking me to harm you on purpose if it comes down to it and I don't like having to make that kind of promise. I'm not happy with this. I'm not. I don't care if it's a last resort, I don't want it to have to be a resort at all."

He let go of the sword and let it drop to the ground or let Valdis hold onto it, he didn't care which, He didn't want to touch it anymore. He wanted to keep Valdis in his arms for as long as it took to- to... he didn't even know. He just didn't want her thinking this was okay. Because to him, it wasn't. And he couldn't stop the tears as clung to her, hating himself already for agreeing.

She let the sword fall, aware of how much pain the very idea was causing Wan.

"I'm sorry, I never wanted to ask you this and I hate that I had to." She continued to hold him and would for as long as he needed, "But Wan, the only reason I am standing here right now is because Anton put himself between Raine and I."

Now she was crying too, hating that she had hurt him so much while trying to not hurt him at all.

"He put himself and all of Keeliai on the line in the belief that he could bring me back. He was right that time, but it was a deadly gamble. If it happens again, and words fail and you fail, then Raine will have no choice and I will not come back from being hit with her magic."

Edited 2015-02-19 17:54 (UTC)

Wan's hands balled into fists and even though he knew he couldn't hold her any tighter, he tried so hard to do so. Wan wasn't used to crying. He hadn't cried often and had learned early on how to shut it out because crying only made people annoyed at you when you were a dirty kid on the street. But he was crying now and it wasn't stopping any time soon. He had to let it out.

He'd shared his soul with her, he'd trusted her with Raava's soul. He didn't want to have to put hers at risk. He didn't want to have to face that and she was forcing him to with this promise. He was going have to face it every time he looked at that damn sword and know that he couldn't just hide it away or lock it up somewhere.

"I love you," he sobbed out. It was the only coherent thought he had. "I love you, and I don't want to hurt you. I never want to hurt you."

"I know," she cried, "I love you too and it kills me to ask this of you, but you are one of the few people who believes that the world isn't better without me. Your friendship means the world to me..."

He had seen her soul, perhaps that was why he still believed she could be good, but the reality was that as long as her soul and the Void existed side by side, she couldn't be at peace. But his sorrow was overwhelming, she had asked too much, put too much pressure on him and she felt horrible. Her thoughts were hyper-focusing on how much pain and sadness she and Wan were feeling.

"I'm sorry. You don't have to take it, I'll give it to Anton," She couldn't breathe, the forced empathy made her feel as if she was drowning. "...please..stop...it's too much." She needed to get away, but she couldn't find the strength to do so. Her knees buckled and she blacked out.

She went limp and Wan caught her, curling her against himself. He pulled himself out of his tearful spiral enough to push her hair back from her face and whisper her name quietly. No answer. She was out cold and he was left as confused as he was upset.

---

When Valdis awoke later, she'd find herself laid out as comfortably as he could make her against Mula's side. The catdeer was purring loudly and resting her own head next to Valdis' shoulder. A blanket was covering her to keep her warm and Wan was sitting close by, meditating. His emotions were calm now. He'd had time to cry his pain out and get himself centered afterwards.

The sword was no where in sight.

Her dreams were dark and devoid of anything material. It was merely black mist, swirling in the nothingness, and the seductive whispers of souls long since damned to oblivion.

After what seemed like an eternity, the voices were drowned out by Mula's motoring purr and she slowly opened her eyes. The air felt calmer, the earlier turmoil had receded completely, a fact that enabled her to relax. She moved her hand to stroke Mula's neck, taking comfort in the fact that the sweet creature, like Wan, didn't reject her. Then she sat up, letting the blanket fall from her shoulders.

"Wan?" she asked looking toward him, "Are you ok now?"

Wan cracked an eye open, gave her a brief, sad, smile, then shut his eye again and took a deep breath. He was calm, but he was far from okay.

"No," he answered honestly. "I don't know how long it will be until I'm okay, but I am doing better than I was. I'm sorry for... letting it all out like that. I should have held it in until you were gone."

"It's ok," she didn't move toward him, content to just sit and stroke Mula's back, "You couldn't have known that...I would feel what you felt." She shook her head, "I'm so sorry, I never should have asked you...I never wanted to place that burden on you, or anyone I care about."

"You didn't place it on me," he answered with a forced slowness so he could maintain the calm he'd achieved. "I chose to accept it. It's a burden I am not happy with, but it's also one I could have refused."

Not that he would have, since it wouldn't result in her death, but the fact remained that he was the one who agreed to her request.

"I do want to know something, though. Why did you feel what I felt? Was it because our souls have shared the same space?"

His acceptance of the burden didn't make it right that she had asked him in the first place. It had been too much for him to handle, too much for her to ask.

"Hellhounds can sense the strong emotions within others, but they do not truly feel them because they are incapable of emotions," she said slowly, trying to put together the best representation of what she experienced, "But because I have a soul and do have emotions, it interferes with that ability and as such, when others feel something strongly, I feel it too, although usually not to that extent." She sighed, wondering why it had been so extreme, "It is possible that part of the strength was because our souls have, as you said, shared the same space."

"So any emotion I feel strongly, you'd be able to feel when I'm around you?" He knew he was just echoing what she'd said, but he wanted to be sure he understood that. It was important.

Valdis wasn't entirely certain what was going through Wan's head and it slightly worried her that he was more interested in the fact that she could feel what he was feeling as opposed the the bombshell that she had just dropped.

"Yes."

It was the simplest answer.

A soft smile stretched over Wan's face and he shut his eyes as he bowed his head, "Good. If that's true, then I don't think I'll ever have to use the sword you've given me."

Valdis tipped her head, uncertain of what he meant and lacking the energy to work it out in her head.

"And why is that?" She asked, continuing to stroke the purring catdeer.

Wan took another deep breath before he opened his eyes and stood up. He walked over to her and knelt down, putting his hand on her shoulder as he leaved in so he could put his forehead against hers. He was focusing on how much he cared about her, how much love he had for her. If she could feel his emotions when they were strong, then he wanted them to be as strong as he could make them right then and there. He wanted to bring her confidence and peace.

She closed her eyes when he placed his forehead against hers, feeling the emotions as they washed over her. She felt everything he wanted her to feel, the love, peace, and she felt safe, as if nothing could ever hurt her again.

"Thank you," she said, tears streaming down her face. "I can't tell you how much this means..."

"You don't have to," he murmured and lifted a hand to wipe one cheek clean so he could press a soft kiss there. "I'll go get your sword. I don't need it."

Valdis almost couldn't believe that someone could care so much. After losing Dante, she hadn't even been certain if what she had felt from him had been real. But she knew without a doubt that Wan couldn't make up those feelings, because feelings were not something you could make up, they simply existed in varying amounts and intensity.

"Ok," she replied, not caring that he wasn't concerned about what she was or what she could do. He simply cared about her, and that was enough.

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February Catch All

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#toomanyfeels

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