moves like jagger [open]

[jirk]

Characters: Jim Kirk and open!
Date: May 4th, watch as I refuse to crack jokes about rival sci-fi franchises.
Location: A couple different scenarios, thread starters for each. If you'd like to set up another scenario, PM me and we can hash out something else!
Situation: Jim's acquainting himself with the concept of being, you know, on a giant turtle.
Warnings/Rating: Shouldn't go past PG-13.
Notes: Starting in prose, feel free to hop in with prose or actionspam.

Comments

[jirk]

I literally just got here. Scout's honour.

[BECAUSE SHE... SEEMS REALLY DISAPPOINTED AND HE FEELS BAD??

OR SOMETHING??]

Yeah, see, I don't know if I buy that whole. Dracula thing. I mean. Where's the fangs?

[brbparadise]

[He just questioned the girl that turned into a bat about her vampireness? Do they not have, idk, manners where he comes from? GOSH.]

The fangs are right here. [And she points to them, smiling to do so. Then she lets out a huff of air.] Do you not have vampires where you come from?

[Because, holy rabies has he been missing out.]

And it's why I showed up at all! I smelled blood, but it was only you.

[HER PAIN, CAN HE FEEL IT?]

[jirk]

I don't actually have vampires where I come from, unless you count-- [Jim no] Vulcans in a bad mood, and I'm pretty sure they wouldn't like humans anyw--

[Pause. Jim looks at her. Takes a sloooow step back.]

You can smell me?

[That's weird to him.]

[brbparadise]

[Oh, no! He's running away! A step at a... time?]

Only the blood! Cross my coffin and hope to dawn.

[She pauses. Sniffs the air.] Yeah. Definitely only blood. I'm no Esmeralda.

[Mavis points to his nose. His lip. His shirt.] And you had blood on you, so... [Shrug???]

[jirk]

[HE IS RESISTING THE URGE TO SNIFF AT HIS ARMPITS OR SOMETHING ANYWAY because that is like, no holds barred, one of the creepier things he's ever heard from a total stranger who doesn't look a day over like, sixteen.]

You smelled my blood and you-- decided to come... sniff me in person?

[THE FEDERATION HANDBOOK NEVER PREPARED HIM FOR THIS.]

[brbparadise]

[Sixteen? That's so sweet! She stays out of the sun, so it does a million things for her complexion.]

Uh, no? [Tiny huff of ARE YOU CRAZY? Only Uncle Wayne does that, geez.] I thought you might be a bar. But, you're not. [Made with a gesture of YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY DEFICIT IN THAT AREA.]

Which sucks. [Arms crossed.] I haven't had a Bloody Mary since my eighties!

[Wait. Right. PEOPLE AND POSITIVE RELATIONS.]

That's cool though! Being just a human and all. I like humans. [Smile?]

[jirk]

[bluescreen............



Okay, no. Pull it together, Jim, focus. Think like Spock. What would Spock do.

She is apparently a vampire, apparently over eighty, has a better sense of smell than a bloodhound (he can't help it, he sniffs his shirt just in case) and she can turn into a bat.

This is officially the weirdest day of his life, beating out that time he and McCoy went AWOL during their Academy days and ended up on Sanctus VI, where there is apparently an unfortunate local strand of disease that turns people puce. Puce.]

You-- there--

[HAND IN THE AIR HE IS DIRECTING TRAFFIC OVER HERE THIS IS A STOP SIGN.]

Let's try this again. You're a vampire. But you don't eat humans. But you do like bars.

[brbparadise]

[Mavis nods, shakes her head, then pauses and tilts her head at the last one.]

Just the ones that serve type O. It's my favourite.

[jirk]

Your fav--

[OH MY GOD HE'S IN A WORLD OF NOPE OVER HERE.]

Oh my God I actually can't believe this place.

[brbparadise]

Are you sure you didn't hit your head?

[Because you're starting to act really weird.]

Because, oh my gore, what's not to believe?

[Tiny, fangy smile -- but it's a worried one for his questionable state of mental health.]

[jirk]

My head is fine, thank you very much.

[AND THAT IS A VERY BONES THING TO ASK HIM EXCUSE HIS INCREDULOUS LITTLE STARE.]

Because vampires aren't-- [Tact, Jim. Use your Starfleet diplomacy training.] -- around. Much. Where I'm from.

[A beat.]

Iowa.

[brbparadise]

[Watch out. She might inject you with some weird alien virus. As a favour.]

Eye-o-wha?

[Still looking at him like he cracked his head open somewhere along the way.]

That's nowhere near Transylvania, is it?

[jirk]

Are you ser--

[He cuts himself off and presses the palm of his hand against his eyesocket. Of course she's serious.]

No. It's on another continent.