tushanshu_logs | Light 'em up

Light 'em up

Characters: EVERYBODY
Date: sundown on November 29th to sunrise on November 30th
Location: A plaza in Earth
Situation: The population of Keeliai could use a little warmth. So Chekov set stuff on fire and invited everyone over.
Warnings/Rating: None, but please put something in your comment header if necessary.

On Wednesday, everyone received the following audio message (and text attachments in English and Russian) from (1) Pavel Chekov in their inboxes:

“Hello. I would like to invite you to a bonfire in Earth sector on Friday at sundown. Please feel free to bring friends.”

A plaza in Earth sector is buzzing with activity-- most of it from one young man. He spends the day lugging folding tables and pushing wheelbarrows of supplies into the plaza. As the day wears on, several entrepreneurial kedan set up stands. By sundown, the plaza is lit up with three large, roaring bonfires. Most of the ice and snow has melted away, leaving a few patches here and there in the furthest corners of the plaza. One patch a bit away from the fires is completely devoid of snow and ice-- it's a sort of dance floor or performance area. Some music is playing out of one of the upper windows of the buildings overlooking the plaza. It's varies from quick and frenzied to slow and soothing. Of course, anyone is welcome to claim the floor to perform a magic show or do a little singing of their own.

There's a hodgepodge of various folding tables set with the essentials: raw vegetables, the closest equivalent of marshmallows Chekov could find (next to the chocolate and graham cracker substitutes), and sausages. There are skewers and tongs lying around should anyone need them. He also brought a few jugs of water, which are refilled periodically. It's not much, but it's the best he could do with a limited budget and not a lot of time. The kedan have taken the opportunity to sell what Chekov couldn't bring-- hot beverages and food, blankets, scarves and gloves, and several other simple wares.

It's not a grand setup, but there are roaring bonfires, food, and good company.

(Posting this slightly early because of Thanksgiving chaos. Let me know if you have any questions)

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"Upset? Not at all. I do not need to be upset to start hurting people. I merely need to stop holding myself back from it."

He hesitated a moment, then corrected even that statement, "and I hurt people all the time. But I do not kill - and work to help, anyway."

Damian had a way better view of things to deceive himself on that count. Slowly, he settled on the far end of the bench - lounging a little, his body ready to act, but at the same time absolutely comfortable. "My feelings cannot be trusted, I have found out. So I rely on reason only."

That was also a warning, though of a very different kind.

She watched him cautiously approach, taking a seat on the opposite end of the bench. Closer now, but still with a noticeable physical distance between them. She watched, and she took note of how what he said...still did not entirely match. After all, what else could possibly be allowing him to hold back but his feelings?

It would explain why he was warning her.

But hurting and killing were two vastly different things in her mind, and even then, it depended upon the how and why.

"You told me once that you wouldn't hurt me." Speaking physically, of course. Back when details of their respective pasts were slowly starting to emerge. "I believed you."

"I told you that I would not kill you." The correction was almost mild, but he didn't stop to consider it.

Not hurting wasn't something he was ready for; he knew better.

"And you are among the people I am not - I do not intend to hurt. But I can not promise. I - lack sufficient knowledge and understanding, for that."

And he was too damaged, to boot, but there was a limit to his self-exposing, even now.

"It's more than I ever had back home."

Her head tilted downward slightly, hair partially falling in front her her face as it always did whenever she observed someone from afar. Eyes glazing over, thinking back to the little boy whom she'd last has feelings for...and had nearly gotten killed for her troubles. All because she's been weak in her resolve and spared him. Giving up her safety net in order to ensure he would make it.

Never again, she should have promised herself. Because Damian was right. Feelings were dangerous. She knew that better than most.

But he had already admitted he did not like her. A knowledge she could hardly take comfort in, except to know to steel herself off from him further. If she already knew, then at least he would not be able to hurt her again in that sense. She could still be around him. That much was...acceptable.

"You were forced in a situation where you had even less control of the circumstances than here." Because she'd had people she cared about. Family. Who were in the power of others, and so those others had had leverage against her. Hence... warning her about feelings.

Even though he could at least take care of himself.

His eyes remained fixed ahead of him for a while, before turning to look at her - a rather open look, for him.

"If you do not want me to, I will not leave you alone again."

She looked up at him. Shocked.

I will not leave you alone again.

But...she thought...

She had been under the impression that he didn't like her. She had convinced herself that this was the case, based on their conversation. Past conversations. Words. Not actions.

And yet...

Even if this was the case...maybe he didn't like her the way she would have preferred...maybe, in his own way, he still cared.

Slowly, in real time with the thought processes running through her mind, the surprise melted away into a smile. A rare, true, genuine smile. Her eyes sparkled. Her entire body language radiated a moment of pure warmth and happiness.

"I won't leave you, either."

A promise.

In a way entirely different from the other person he thought this of - Grayson - smiling did become her, Damian thought. Especially the smile that nearly radiated from her.

The heat on his cheeks had to be from the nearest bonfire. Really. It couldn't have anything to do with him having given up on that smile turning on him again. At all.

And then she made her own promise and. Damian's lips parted, but he didn't let anything but a slow hiss come through, not immediately. (Because the response - the defense-by-attack - would neither help matters nor matter at all. Until you are strong-armed into getting me killed? Not only because of her past - not even mostly because of that past. That was what he expected of people. And saying it wouldn't make any difference, whether or not she was going to actually do it.)

Instead, he breathed in, and once again, getting a tighter grip on the anger, on the lashing out.

On the fear.

Because he couldn't possibly explain to her what a realization of that promise would mean to him. Not even if he was ready to try.

"Thank you." Though his voice was tight, it was just enough hoarse to let her know it wasn't a shutting down of formality, but rather the opposite. Closer than emotional than he'd ever allowed himself to be when older than three.

His reaction was...not entirely unexpected. Though that was partially because she dismissed the sudden glow in his cheeks to the heat of the nearby flames.

He was holding back. Which, considering everything, was a huge step in the right direction. But there was still the fact that he had to hold back at all. Teeth gritted, body tense. She couldn't tell if he was holding back a less than pleasant comment or accusation of lying on her part.

Either way, she assumed it meant he didn't believe her.

Which was okay. For now. Knowing what he knew...knowing was she knew...she couldn't really blame him.

She would just have to prove it to him. Somehow, someway. After all, her past betrayals had all been for the sake of her family. The people she cared about most. Even Nanashii...she had literally put her life at risk to make sure he made it out, even if she couldn't save anyone else.

Here? She had no one. There was nothing to hold over her head. Not even her own life.

"Of course, Damian."

Maybe it would make a difference this time.

The fact that she didn't push helped. Kyle was making explicit what Richard and Stephanie - and Cassandra - had done almost effortlessly. Be patient. And with patience, he had time to evaluate, to understand, to estimate.

And to begin to trust.

So the patience truly made a difference, and in Midii's favor. Much better than any argument she could make.

He let silence settle between them for a little while, then tried to do the whole. Lighter topic conversation thing.

"Do you like the fires?"

If there was one thing in life Midii understood, it was patience.

Patience for her little brothers, whenever they were acting up. Patience for her father, who would sometimes have days so bad he could barely get out of bed. Patience for the soldiers who were always kind enough to offer her food and shelter, whom she would spend months waiting on to accidentally let slip value intel around her. Patience for the little nameless boy who had once fascinated her so. He spoke very little and had acknowledged her personally even less. Between the two of them, it had always been Midii who'd had to initiate conversation.

So when Damian actually turned to her and inquired about the fire...well, it was an unexpected (but welcome) surprise.

"I do," she nodded lightly after a moment of thought. "Although I would never had thought to center an entire party around them."

Damian, on the other hand, was not a little nameless boy. He had been raised to rule a world, and, while most of the time he was too tangled up with other matters to stop and pay proper attention, he was aware of people. Just not of what to actually do about them. So the shot at conversation was random, but, at least, somewhat remote from the topics that are barbed.

His mouth twisted slightly at that.

"You do not come from a place where it gets very cold, do you?"

She shook her head, and though the smile that appeared was ironic, it wasn't directed at him.

"Just the opposite. We were traveling for so long, with nothing but caravans and tents as shelter, there were times when I forgot what it was like to feel warm."

"Ah. Traveling." Damian nodded. "You probably would have seen more of these," he motioned to the fire centers, "if you had stayed in one place long enough. Bonfires are a traditional way to gather, in long winters. It is rather inconvenient, otherwise, as a matter of fact."

Bonfires were also a tradition that had survived thousands of years, as far as he knew, in colder climes. He couldn't imagine that it would have died out in the future, either, colonies or no.

That much, she knew. But she would rather let him sit and explain to her, content to listen to the sound of his voice and not ruin the moment.

"We couldn't risk it. Too much smoke. It would give away our position immediately." Every ounce of self-restraint went into not wincing from the guilt at that line. That's what I had been for, in the end. She glanced down, at the fire. "Small fires were alright. If the moon was bright enough, and we knew we were far enough from the enemy that it didn't matter."

"Ah." Damian nodded, turning his eyes to her as she talked, not rejecting her, even though he filled in the unsaid easily enough. "You never stayed in or near towns or villages or cities?"

There were ways to hide in a city, for example, many, many ways. And some villages were more likely to welcome rebels than betray them. But the choices for such things would be with the leaders. So he was mostly asking for confirmation, that they'd made the choice to stay away from urbanized areas instead.

"We passed by a traveling circus once, but that was it. The Captain never wanted to risk putting any of the villagers in danger."

"That is also a sensible approach."

Damian stood up, and held out a hand. "Let us go nearer to the warmth, then. It will be louder, too, but you will get a better idea of how fond everybody is of the occasion to gather."

She hesitated. Only for a moment, and only to consider precisely how many people there were in the large gatherings. But soon enough, she gave a nod to his suggestion and, slipping her petite hand into his, allowed Damian to pull her to her feet and lead her closer to one of the fires.

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Light 'em up

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