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The sigh wasn’t what told Korra just how Mako was feeling right then. That was apparent when she saw that shift to his usual guarded look and she knit her brow at his statement. It was true. Despite how much their help was needed, how accommodating the suites were; they were forced to just deal with their predicament. And Mako just perfectly explained how she had been handling it: grit her teeth and bear it. Just like he had been doing.

At first, she wasn’t sure that he wouldn’t walk out and drop the whole thing, but his pacing made her more on edge than him doing just that. When she looked to him, Mako explained the bargain he had given for his future and that got Korra to stand up and step towards him. Bending was an important part of their lives and now they had control over when, where, and why Mako’s firebending would be used. And Korra knew Evandau, he was more militaristic than even Eshai so he wouldn’t even think twice about having him use it for something that would leave its own mark on Mako.

Just like how they were drafted to go into the bottle. But that moment was one that she had only heard about until then. Now she knew what Mako was carrying with him and the look on his face, that confusion- lost, made her reach out to put her hand on his arm.

"I didn't know you paid that price to see your future." It was apologetic. Not only because she felt sorry for him, and Korra feels more deeply than most, but because in a way it was her fault. If she hadn't been so eager to see her future, then maybe Mako wouldn't have been tempted to see his.

"Nothing good came from that battle aside from Han. There's nothing we can do about what we saw and experienced." And she hated that. More than she could say. A life she never lived was in her mind now, permanently parallel to the one she's had.

"The missions we went on when Tu Vishan was too sick to keep our powers up." That was before his time, she mentioned it but never went into detail. "Our team had to fight and probably die or hide while two groups of kedan killed each other."

Her mouth grew thing and she hated the memory of watching the bloody battle while hiding. Running away was something Korra would never do, but it would have meant the lives of the other foreigners she was with and without her bending- "We had to. Just wait until they were all, dead."

That was a hard night to get through, and she managed to keep her tone even. Were it not for Toph letting her unburden on her, Korra wouldn't have slept for who knew how long.

"Nothing we can do but grit our teeth and bear it." She echoed his words through the knot building in her throat and looked down where she was holding him, too tightly and she went to release him.

She'd never told him that.

In fact, when the words hit him, it feels like they land squarely in his gut rather than his ears. He'd had no idea about that, at all, which he knew was by design. Korra always had to do things her way, and do them alone. It was maddening sometimes, but this was one of those rare times that Mako could completely understand why she did it. He'd have done the same thing.

He was still looking at her when she finally released him. he hadn't even realized how hard she'd gripped his arm until he could feel the dull ache from where the pressure of her hand had just been.

There wasn't an inclination to press on that. Not yet, he could still feel the effect of it, physically, on his arm, and he could see it in her face and hear it in her voice. He had no doubt about how Korra felt, and what it'd done to her. He stepped closer, his actions guided more by instinct than any rational thinking. Something like this, right then, felt natural.

He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into a hug. He would have wanted something like that, after his parents had died, and Bolin had needed the same thing.

"Hey, we're not alone, at least," he says, to no one in particular.

Her gaze didn't move, she didn't even notice him moving. All she was seeing was that day and how they had to walk out among the dead to find the evidence of Dust that they were sent there for by Evandau. She was stiff and it was a few moments into the hug when she was brought back to the present. Korra put her hands on his chest and placed her cheek on them. Swallowing hard, she fought back the urge to shed tears. That was already done, and she managed to get past that over time.

"Not anymore." she agreed quietly. Of course they meant having their friends from their home, from their time. But now that she'd seen just how his parents died and how it affected him, she included that in her answer. Even if it was just for herself, but she reached around so she could hug him back. Something she was sure he needed, just like her, and neither of them would ask for it.

They didn't have to.

He didn’t assume much about the hug. This was one of those times he really didn’t want to concern himself with assigning some sort of motivation to anything she did. He already figured saying what she had enough, and the haltingness of her actions for those few moments only confirmed what he knew. He wished she’d told him sooner, but he knew that he wouldn’t have known what to do with that information then.

It would have only set him further on edge in a situation he already wasn’t comfortable in.

So, after a moment, he pulled back from her, his hands on her waist for a moment. He seems okay with that contact, though. “Hey… Thanks for telling me. You didn’t have to, and I don’t think I can help much but…” This was better than before?

But he wanted to help, even if he knew he was pretty useless?

There were a lot of things he wanted to say, but he had no clue how he could phrase them, so he was hoping that maybe she’d understand, no matter what he finished his sentence with. That what he was trying to say wouldn’t get lost with his own inability to say it. “I want to help you. As your friend.”

"Just being able to tell you was a big help." It was true. Not just her fears, but just being able to talk about things that really hit her right down to the core was something Korra needed and there wasn't anyone that would make a viable outlet. Not when they didn't come from her world and that she knew she could trust with something as important as that. A kind of weakness. Something Korra didn't want exposed for any to see.

The contact wasn't unfamiliar, but she knew the difference and she placed her hands on his shoulders and nodded.

"Only if I can help you too. We're in this mess together." For all that their life on Tu Vishan was, at the end of the day it boiled down to a large mess that they were charged with cleaning up.

"Even if it's something as crazy as being shrunk down and sent into a bottle of Death." She looked at him with her baby blue eyes trained on his amber ones and gave a half shrug with one shoulder while she tilted her head into it.

"Literally."

“Literally,” he repeated with something of a grin. Then, he took a step back, his arms separating from her waist, and creating that distance between the two of them again.

Talking out your problems. This was a new concept for Mako, especially as too often, talking out problems felt like they’d lead to a fight. And Mako, as a rule, hated conflict. He much preferred to detach himself from it where he could. But with Korra, he knew he had to try. She’d been trying really hard to help him, just like he’d been trying to help her.

He was really, really glad he’d caught her fighting underground now, even if the thought had infuriated him at the time.

“Hey, so, I haven’t had dinner yet. You wanna grab a bite? There’re a few food stands near-by that aren’t that bad, believe it or not. They kinda remind me of home.” Food like at home sounded like something they both needed, no matter how bittersweet it was in the end.

Eventually. Eventually they’d be home.

Korra brought her hands down from his shoulder and put her hands on her waist where was, still warm from the contact. Everything was much better than when they first spoke after breaking up, avoiding anything wasn't Korra's favorite thing to do and how they've been helping each other was putting her back on track to being comfortable.

"Sure. I can spot you." She was of course referencing her income from multiple jobs, which had been cut down by one. It was progress. "Besides, I could really use a slice of home." Especially now that they both knew how much the other had been longing for their world.

They could eat together over that and at least pretend for one night that they were home.

She went to put on her sneakers, the ones she only ever wore when doing a work out and just mentally shrugged at her flowing blue pants and tank top. They'd have to do since she didn't come to the dojo with a change of clothes.

"You know I haven't actually had anything in the Wood Sector yet."

"You don't have to spot me, I've got cash for myself," Mako answered easily enough, before placing his hands in his pockets. His posture said that despite everything, he was at ease, significant around her, since they'd been so guarded recently. This was a change both of them needed, and it made it harder to ignore the feelings he had for her than he thought it would.

It was one of the few times he didn't care, though.

"It's not bad there, you know. I like it-- a lot less fancy and overpriced than anything in the Metal or Fire Sectors. And the people are..." he pauses as he considers how to say this. "... Less noses in the air." Wait. "--Not that I'm saying you or Asami are that, you know, just... uh, you know what I mean."

Well, that was an awkward way to end that sentence.

Seeing him actually being himself was something she didn't get to see too often recently. Glimpses of it from the palace's pool that showed her the future weren't her, so just right then was enough for her to sidle up next to him casual as she pleased.

Still, she couldn't keep the single laugh out of her words. "I think I know you meant the kedan." When Mako wasn't his cool, collected self and almost tripping over his own words was one of Korra's favorite facets of him. Her feelings for him were always just beneath the surface and she fought to keep them there.

"I can't do the nose in the air trick too well. But if you want, I could try and give it a shot." Completely teasing because she knew just how much of a disaster that would turn out to be.

"That's alright, I'll just take your word for it," he replied quickly, and then pushed the door open for her. "After you."

He could walk them over to the park where the stands were, and maybe, just maybe, they could talk more. There were still some things that he wanted to ask her, though he was still screwing up the courage to just ask plainly.

It's not that he wanted to break from their previous conversation completely, but he thought they could both use a break from it, too.

"Ah-thank you, sir." Said with a smirk and she waited until he was through it so she could just lock up for the night. Anything left out she would just come in early and pick up or let Ryou handle.

When she saw the stands, Korra lowered her hands from the top of her head and sniffed at the air curiously. "Oh wow, that does smell familiar. You weren't kidding." That food made her stomach growl, the appetite she built up earlier wasn't helping either.

"Come on!" she went to grab his arm so she could move them along faster.

He let his arm be grabbed, picking up the pace a bit. Which for him really just meant taking longer strides, but details. He was more familiar with this place, and the one thing he appreciated was that, honestly, it was safe compared to some of the neighborhoods that he'd been in.

When they got to the stands, he let her pick out what she wanted first. He knew he probably wasn't anywhere near as hungry as she was. He could take his time making up his mind while she went ahead.

At least the stand owner recognized him. That was pretty impressive.

Longer strides was exactly what happened since Korra was noticeably shorter than him. The atmosphere of the Wood Sector was different from Metal and it was easy for Korra to tell.

As soon as she was able, Korra was taking practically two of everything. Her hands were slowly getting fuller and she actually had to hold a bag of steaming dumplings by her mouth.

She nudged Mako with her hip to get his attention. "Gibth ne a habd."

Somehow, he wasn't surprised when suddenly she had more than she could handle all at once. He stared at her-- and being in a particularly good mood did not stop him from giving a baleful, 'are you kidding me' stare at all the food she was trying to buy at once. But he could help her out, at least.

She was as bad as Bolin, though. That definitely didn't escape his notice.

He took one of the bags, and then placed his order. He already had the cash out, and he could go ahead and cover her while she wrestled with the fact that she didn't have three hands, even though she apparently had two stomachs.

Payment and greeting out of the way, they were gonna have to find a place to sit. And there were plenty of places-- and the good thing about the Wood Sector, that was the one advantage over Republic City? You could see the stars at night. So, just about anywhere would do.

So he just picks one of the grassy hills. "Over here, c'mon."

As soon as she was able to talk normally, she gave a quick thanks and made her load more manageable. All she did was give a winning smile once they were paid for and take a bite out of some meat on a stick.

Korra was in a good mood and she was happy to follow Mako out through the stalls and over to a grassy hill. It was a bright night thanks to no clouds blocking off the half-moon and stars.

"Here, I'm not going to eat all this by myself. Even if it does taste and smell like home." She got two of everything for a reason and handed Mako half of her food stuffs. Using some of the napkins the vendors included, Korra spread out a makeshift cloth to put their evening meal on.

"This is way more than either of us can eat," Mako comments, before taking one of the dumplings. There's at least some relief that she'd never intended to eat all of that by herself. He glanced upwards, staring at the night sky, mulling over what he wanted to say next.

Well... he may as well just say it.

"Korra..." His voice sounds less sure. "... What did you actually see? In Kithika?"

Something that may have resembled the word leftovers escaped her full mouth and she swallowed her food to follow his gaze upwards. She was about to take another bit, but stopped just short and continued looking at the stars.

It might have even seemed that she didn't even hear him.

"Another life." She finally said after almost a full minute of silence. Then Korra took a drink from one of the fizzy drinks, ice cold at her touch. "All of it; at once." Her tone went down an octave and she nibbled at a steamed bun.

"Like Bolin, did," he said. It wasn't a question, so much as him verbalizing exactly what he was thinking, allowing her to hear him process the information, however small it was. He was quiet for a long minute, though he tried to hide it with eating. But it was obvious that he was mulling things over.

What had happened to him and Asami had been one thing. It had been, in his opinion, needlessly brutal and public. There was no hiding exactly what they were seeing. How dangerous bending could be.

But Korra and Bolin were more subtle. Bolin was easy to pick apart, Mako didn't even have to ask the question, he'd revealed everything about what had happened in that other life with the barest of prompting. Both then, and then later at his suite. Korra was different.

Mako only had what he'd put together based off her amazement at him even being alive and her bending. He knew something had went horribly wrong, to a point that he couldn't even make complete sense of it.

Looking up at the stars, and then back at her, trying not to over press his luck... "What happened?"

Korra looked up at the stars for as long as she could. But the question made her remember the other life that was now living parallel next to hers in the back of her mind. The night sky was the one thing that she could look at back then. One of the things that she could endlessly look at while in the compound and not feel restrained while doing so.

"When I was four, the Order of the White Lotus found out I was the Avatar." It was the only time where her memories overlapped and she said it simply enough as she took small bite of her steamed bun.

"But I overheard my father and Tenzin and how they wanted me to stay locked in at the compound. Not to let me go anywhere else." In what had actually happened to her, Korra could at least go home and visit her family from time to time. "So I didn’t let my mom and dad visit me. Said it would distract me from becoming a fully realized Avatar."

Something she wasn’t proud of, even if it wasn’t technically her. Korra paused and took another drink.

"My first teacher is still Katara. She was the best teacher I ever had." Said sadly as Korra looked over at Mako. "The only one after she taught me everything she knew. She passed not too long after that." When exactly that happened, Korra didn’t say and she just continued on.

"Eventually I figured out a way to get out of the compound and I found Naga, right before they found me. I couldn’t keep her." Korra brought her knee up and put her arm atop it. "I watched them kill her."

After swallowing hard, she finished the rest of her bun.

"After I mastered Earth, I had my firebending test to see if I was a master of Fire. Katara wasn’t there to let me pass like she was back home. I had to stay at the compound until I mastered it completely." A pause before she spat out. "I hated it. I hated being there. So I did work on Fire and the restraint they wanted me to have on it. That’s why I got to the advanced level."

She rubbed her eyes with her hand and then let it rest over her nose and mouth.

"I was seventeen when Tenzin came to teach me airbending at the compound. But he said he couldn’t stay and that it might have been months, or longer, before he could instruct me."

Korra set her chin on her arm and glanced briefly at Mako, her voice quavering slightly.

"I’ve had enough. Breaking out was my only option and I took it. They trained me too well and I don’t know how many there were, but I know there wasn’t anyone left at the compound after I left for Republic City."

There was more, but that thought was hammering down on her trying to keep the memories from getting blurred, and the thought that she would have done something that extreme in another life was a thought that had been haunting her since Kithika.

Edited 2014-03-15 03:55 (UTC)

"Hey," he leaned over and placed a hand on her shoulder, gentle. She sounded like she was trying to work through the memories completely-- and there was a lot that was different. But that wasn't her, as far as he was concerned. That life had nothing to do with the girl that was in front of him. "That wasn't your life."

He scooted a little bit closer, before continuing.

"You don't have to tell me, but trust me. Whatever happened that lead to that isn't you. Not anymore than whatever led to Bolin being an equalist isn't him."

He needed her to believe him when he said it, even if it didn't seem like the most helpful thing he could have possibly said, it was the only thing he could really offer her.

"Something like that... sounds pretty shocking though."

When she felt his hand, Korra looked over at Mako and nodded. It was something she had told Zatanna that same thing, but she knew how hard it was to believe that when you were that person for a full day. When those memories were just as real as your own.

"I know."

She gave a single laugh that almost sounded like a cough.

"When I got to Republic City you helped me out, you know. I wasn’t even there for ten minutes before I got attacked by Equalists. We were doing all right together, and I didn’t even know your name. When more of them showed up and we got outnumbered, I thought that was it, but Bolin showed up and helped even it out. After we fought them off, we all talked and Bolin talked you into letting me stay with you guys. I didn’t have a place and pro-bending was shut down because of the Equalist threat getting worse in the city. You promised to help me when I said I’d put a stop to it." She took a sip from her drink. "I met Asami in that life too. She hit me with her moped, but we managed to get along and become friends. No one’s ever been nice to me the way you all have."

"I went to Air Temple Island so Tenzin would teach me airbending. If I was going to take on Amon, I wanted to have all four elements. But he just tried to talk me into going back to the compound, and he freaked out when I told him there wasn’t one to go back to. We shouted at each other and actually had a real fight. But he left to see to the South Pole to see if I was lying. After that was when Amon started making bolder moves and started to take out the police force with Equalists weapons and mecha tanks. He took Lin’s bending away too. He even sent a challenge to me over the radio."

This was the first time she spoke about any of it and she wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not yet.

"I wanted to take him up on it, but not the way he was expecting. You, me, and Bolin got some Equalist uniforms so we could sneak in." She gave him a quick, wan smile. "Your idea. But it didn’t work, Amon was a step ahead of us and almost took away our bending. He tried to take away yours first and I almost stopped him, but he bloodbended me without even moving. Asami saved us. She overhead the plan from her father and came just in the nick of time to get us out. We all went back to the apartment so we could plan out how to take the next step. It was a good week, just staying with friends and, well, with you too."

She sighed and looked back up at the half-moon.

"But that didn’t last. We decided to split up and try to get information on Amon’s next big move." Korra was keeping her throat straight so it would be easier to talk. She didn’t want to think of what happened next, not when her memory had it vividly at the ready.

He listened as she explained, and the differences between what had actually happened and what she suddenly remembered were... confusing. Confusing was a good way to put it. The Equalist movement he remembered was never, for lack of a better word, violent. Just a lot of frustrated non-benders that Amon had played for fools. This movement she was describing was a huge difference from the one he remembered.

He can't even manage much of a reaction when she tells him about his idea, and how it didn't work. It just seemed so foreign to him that he could only vaguely imagine his own motivations, but it explained why he couldn't talk to Korra while she thought that was her reality. Every one of them seemed different. Her, Him, Bolin, Asami... Hell, even Amon.

When she did pause, he could put together what had happened based off of her reaction, and for some reason, he didn't want to hear about the inevitable, even if it wasn't him. Hearing that you died, even in some alternate reality, or fantasy (because who knew if these were actual memories, and not just something the statues planted in their heads) was disturbing.

He wouldn't stop her from saying if it helped, but he was dreading those words coming out of her mouth as much as she was dreading saying them.

Another squeeze of her shoulder. "You don't have to."

Telling Mako everything up to that point was taking its toll and she had done her best to keep it together, all over a life she knew wasn't real; yet it felt just as real as the one she had lived. Including what he already knew and what she was dreading talking about.

The thought was there and she tried to wipe it off and she even nodded to his offer. She put her hand on his and squeezed. Just that contact, knowing that he was right there and none of it was real should have been enough for Korra to let it drop.

But every time she ran up and slid from stopping too soon, falling back onto the ground; to where Bolin was tied and bound next to-

"Amon left you there." she said through the tight knot in her throat that had been growing since she started answering his question. "Bolin was next to you." Being forced to watch, she remembered what Bolin told her after they were in a better state to talk.

"Mako, you weren't," she took in a shuddering breath and tried to clear her throat to speak clearly. That ultimately failed, her mind wouldn't clear and the image of his body contorted, misshapen and broken wouldn't leave her mind and she brought bother her knees up to her and buried her face in her arms.

This was a weakness she didn't want to have from a life she didn't want to know about, and worst of all he was right next to her, so it just felt stupid to be like this over it. No matter how real it was to her.

Worse was that she couldn't even hold him to reassure herself that he was there. That was the whole point of them talking, so they could continue what they had been doing. Simply being friends.

"I'm sorry. It's, I know it's not what happened."

"It isn't," he agrees, a little lost. Inside, he couldn't help but thank her for not going into extreme detail. He didn't want to know, and as she'd started talking, how much he didn't want to know hit him in the form of a growing pit in his stomach. But that still left him stuck on what he could do.

It didn't matter, in the end, though. He wasn't going to listen to his own instincts on this. His hand moved from her closer shoulder, and to her other shoulder, so he could pull her into a hug, for the second time that night. She needed it, and he wanted to reassure her that he was there.

This was a mess, and part of him regretted asking about it in the first place, since it felt like all it had done was hurt her.

"Don't worry about apologizing, I asked you for what happened." Said softer than he really meant to. But he tended to do a lot of things he didn't mean to when around Korra.

Stiff at first, Korra loosened up after she heard his tone. The words weren't nearly as important as the way he said it and she took what she needed just then, hugging him back tightly. That physical reminder, having him there alive well, drove out the memory that had plagued her since she started explaining.

"Thank you." It was quiet, barely above a whisper and practically lost into his scarf. Korra waited until her breathing was clearer before straightening back up. She bought some extra time by looking at all the food she had brought up with them.

"Anything we don't finish, you can just give to Bolin, right?" It was a horrible play at changing the topic, but Korra wasn't at the top of her game just then.

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