tushanshu_logs | Coming clean about a few things

Entry tags:

Coming clean about a few things

Characters: Kon-El (

tactile_telekinesis) & Hayley Stark (

everylittlegirl)
Date: Backdates to 8th March
Location: Hayley’s suite
Situation: Kon wants to talk to Hayley and tell her more about him.
Warning: None?

Kon had noted down Hayley’s address after he spoke to her over the inboxes. He hadn’t really known her that long but they’d spoken often enough that he felt comfortable around her. Bart trusted her, Kal had trusted her and that was enough for him after a while. After things had calmed down enough. There had been things about Kon that he didn’t just tell people, things that hadn’t had a chance to be said, an opening. He knew that he really didn’t have to tell her everything, and he wasn’t going to, but he did feel like there were some things she should know.

So he left his own suite in the Wood sector and took off towards Metal. When he was meeting people, it never took that long to reach the overall area, which he always saw as a good thing for two reasons. One, the person wasn’t going to be waiting for a long time and two, he could get a longer sleep in in the mornings if it was pre-planned. It was around forty minutes when he finally reached Hayley’s suite and knocked on the door, waiting for her to answer.

"Yo, Hayley!"

Standing there though, was giving him time to rethink whether or not he was actually going to tell her everything despite knowing deep down he would. Damn, why was this making him so nervous? Or was this just him being unsure.

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Sometimes he had wondered what it would have been like if he was Conner and had been brought to the turtle. Would he still be looked at as a ghost in some ways? Would people be surprised to see him alive or would they be okay? But he hadn't lived that life yet so it was hard to really think about it.

"About which part? Lex? Not a lot of people. Bart, Supes and probably Bats as well as one of the Robins that's here. And you now."

Hayley hadn't heard about a Robin and apparently there was more than one. Goody. More secrets of the inner circle she wasn't privy to. She stored the information away for now. Maybe she could use it to manipulate more later, but now wasn't the time for scheming and it definitely wasn't the right time to use Kon.

"That, and about you being a clone instead of a cousin," she clarified. For all she didn't know, she still knew a lot and wasn't keen on letting others' secrets slip unintentionally.

Oh. Well for some reason he thought people knew about there being a Robin in the city. Well only one of them really mattered to him any way.

"Everyone from my world knows. Some people here but they've all mostly left."

Hayley dropped her gaze, picking at her jeans again as she thought. Then she looked up at him again. "I was wrong, about us being alike. You wanting to attack Lex isn't like me attacking Superman. I thought I was trying to help him understand and make him a better hero, but you would be trying to prevent genocide."

A beat. "I'm more like Lex than you are."

Kon was surprised at that and his grip on the mug tightened causing him to smash it and spilling the small amount of his coffee left, over himself.

"Shit!"

It didn't burn but he just hadn't expected her to say something like that and he looks at her as he rubs the coffee in to his pants.

"No you're not. You're nothing like him. Not even a little."

Because he didn't want to think of anyone being like him. She might have been, in some small way. But Kon wouldn't admit that. He wouldn't see it.

"You admitted your mistake, you owned up to it and took responsibility. He wouldn't."

Kon didn't know a whole lot about Lex, not like Superman, but what he did know, he couldn't think of him as admitting he made a mistake.

Hayley half moved to stand when the mug broke, but froze when he didn't seem hurt. After a beat, she stood only to pick up her own mug and set it in front of him as a silent offering for another. A broken mug really wasn't a big deal to her and the gesture allowed her an excuse to think. Then she sat back down and looked at him.

She considered what he was saying and some part of the back of her mind wondered if what he thought she believed was the same as what she actually believed. The thought was quickly dismissed, but she frowned a little as she continued to watch him.

"I'm not a good person, Kon. I mean, I'm trying to be? But I'm no hero." She wasn't entirely sure why she was admitting as much to Kon when normally she spent her time defending the point. "I won't tell anyone, but.. what if I turn out to be a villain?"

He felt bad about breaking one of her mugs and made a note to actually replace it. The pieces were set down beside the mug Hayley put down in front of him. He smiled at the offer.

"You're not a bad person either, Hayley and that's the important thing. Not everyone is a good person, and like you said, you're trying to be. You don't have to be a hero to have some kind of good in you."

Kon shrugged his shoulders at her question.

"It's a chance we'll have to take, but I don't think you could be a villain. Not on purpose."

"That's what I'm worried about," she blurted out without thinking. Her recent conversations with both Bart and Jor-El had made her slightly careless and she immediately grimaced with the regret of admitting as much. Her choices were either to clarify and give up even more honesty or to refuse to say more on the matter and risk him misinterpreting it as her being worried about being good.

"..That it could happen unintentionally, I mean?" She sighed and dropped her gaze. "I don't know if I know how to be good."

"Look, if it does happen, you've got me and Bart here that will help you out. Geez, we'll help you out with trying to be good."

Kon falls quiet for a moment, rubbing over the damp spot on his thigh as he thinks for a moment.

"I'd say that this is good. You're listening to me, letting me talk to you. You offered me somewhere to go."

Hayley frowned slightly at the mention of how the two of them would help her, immediately looking down to try to hide it. It was the last thing she needed right now and Kon's kindness wasn't helping with anything. She wasn't sure how or when people started liking and trusting her so much. The vulnerabilities made her immediately feel defensive, even though she tried to squash that feeling down.

"Villains listen too," she replied finally, still staring down. Lex certainly listened to her and she listened to Jeff. It was a way of gaining information that could be used to manipulate people later.

Edited (jk timelines - no blushing) 2014-04-07 00:24 (UTC)

It was after they had argued and she had brought up the comparison, about why she had done it. That was always something he would go back to and remember. From there they had slowly built up on their new friendship and Kon began to trust her the moment she brought him to see Kal.

He thought about it more and nodded. He knew about villains listening. The younger Lex had done it with him. He'd had so many villains listen to him, manipulate him.

"Yeah, but this feels genuine and not like there's a motive behind it that you're gonna use later down the line."

Hayley looked up at him and lifted a hand to run a fingernail along her eyebrow. He had a point. For as much as she was worried about manipulating him or doing the wrong thing, she didn't have any master plan and her offers were all sincere right now. Maybe she didn't need to be a good person. Maybe she could just play one well enough for it to be true.

"Kon.." The same hand fell to wrap along the back of her neck, then slid off awkwardly and dropped to her lap. She wanted to say thank you. Hayley wasn't even sure that she could put into words what his trust meant, wasn't sure she understood it. She just kind of looked at him, hoping maybe he would understand without her having to say it.

Hayley didn't have to say any more, he gave her an understanding smile and just nodded his head. Kon understood that with Hayley, a lot of things he found easy or so natural were different with her. That she found it hard at times to accept help, to show she appreciated things. Well, that's what he got from some of their conversations, and especially this one. He didn't mind though.

"No problem. And thanks, really. Just for everything right now."

Kon was grateful. Was glad he had decided to tell her about him being a clone. About his relationship with Lex Luthor.

"I didn't do anything," she replied quickly.

Between Bart, Jor-El, and now Kon, Hayley was being genuinely overwhelmed with people being grateful to her and caring way more about her than she was used to. It was difficult to accept, which was part of what made her so worried about screwing it up and equally inclined to run away from all of it.

"Why don't you, uh.. stay there.. while I go make some more coffee." She used the weak excuse to stand and move swiftly and awkwardly into the kitchen. There she pulled down another mug, but the coffee was already made and she just stood there for a moment, trying not to panic.

She'd never been great at surprises and this was definitely a surprise. The more it sank in, the more it was freaking her out.

Edited 2014-04-07 01:27 (UTC)

Kon wondered if it was what he had said that had made her get up and leave. It couldn't have been much else and he thought on how she had been quick to try deflect the thanks he gave. He couldn't begin to claim that he knew a lot about her and they was she thought that might tell him why she seemed to be so...awkward? No, not awkward and not difficult either. He couldn't think of the word to use, it wasn't a horribly negative word though, he knew that much.

He stayed sitting for a few moments and then fidgeted. Looking over to the kitchen door and debating with himself on whether to get up and go check on her or not. The urge to get up was currently winning out and he so he did so, walking over to the door. Kon couldn't help feeling guilty that the way Hayley was acting was because of him. He stood there and cleared his throat.

"Hey, uh...sorry."

She didn't hear Kon approach until he cleared his throat, at which point she immediately grabbed the jug of coffee and began pouring into the new mug as if she wasn't just standing there staring. Once it was filled, she returned the jug to its perch and turned around. At first she forced a seemingly genuine smile, but then dropped it away.

"You don't have to apologize," she replied after a moment. Her tone was mostly neutral, more amicable than not. After a beat, she smiled awkwardly. "This whole friend thing is kind of new to me and I mean, no offense? But you guys aren't exactly the most normal friends to have anyway. I want you to be able to tell me stuff like this. Don't be upset if it takes me a little while to get it, okay? And please don't stop telling me stuff just because I suck at knowing how to handle it."

He made it so easy to be honest. Easier even than Bart, in a lot of ways, because he seemed to understand even the parts of her that weren't so good. She also found that trusting him lead to him trusting her more and, thus far, that had never been a bad thing. Hayley needed more people on her side.

Edited (stuff) 2014-04-10 06:15 (UTC)

When Hayley mentioned how they weren't the most normal friends, Kon laughed. It was true, and it must have felt weird to be the most normal person in that group.

"None taken."

Kon smiled and walked a little closer to her. Usually he would have put his hands on her shoulders like anyone else, but he wasn't sure if that would have been okay with her and he didn't want to cross any lines.

"Don't worry, I'm not gonna expect you to be cool with some things straight away. I know there's some things that take time to accept and even wrap your head around. Especially if it's not common or possible in your version of home."

Maybe before when he had first arrived on the turtle he would have been less patient. But he'd grown up a lot and understood that some times people just needed time and to not chase after them about it.

"I won't leave you outta things."

Hayley tensed ever so slightly with the expectation that Kon would hug her because she knew it was what Bart would have done. She was surprised to find that she didn't mind the idea so much and that, although her muscles relaxed, she didn't feel the normal sense of relief flooding her system when he maintained his distance.

"Everything about this place is impossible," she admitted, lifting a hand to scratch awkwardly at her hair and then dropping it again. "And I'm trying to be okay with it and pretend it's not a big deal? But it kind of is."

Hayley still didn't fully understand how Kon could forgive her so deeply and so quickly for attacking Clark that he was willing to trust her with this. Bart had a purity about him that left her expecting those kind of things, but Kon seemed different.

"You and Bart.." She shook her head. "I don't get why you bother with me."

Kon can see the muscle tension, can practically feel it when she does it. Like everything else got stiffer around her and that was even without him using his TTK touching her. The fact she relaxed so quickly made him realise he had his own tension and maybe that was what he'd felt? Tense because he didn't want her to pull away? That distraction was enough for him to take and he let out a small, quick laugh. More of just a 'ha' than anything else, but the amusement was still behind it.

"I think you'd be lying to yourself if you were saying it's no big deal. Parts of this place I can't understand the way you do cause you know, the whole I can fly and break guns apart while blowing bubbles in gum of juggling cars. But I can try to see it your way, like you try to be okay with it. And I get that it can just be so...weird."

If Kon hadn't have forgiven Hayley the way he had, then he doubted he would have forgiven Kal for what he did. He'd still be putting the blame on people and he'd probably have locked himself away every time Lex Luthor showed up, just in case. He'd forgiven Hayley because it was the right thing to do and why spend all that time being so angry at someone when they'd made a mistake? He trusted her because he felt good around her. He felt like they could be friends and not just pretend to be with each other to keep things easy for everyone else. Hayley had felt the need to attack Kal at one point and it wasn't fair that she thought Kon was just a cousin to Supes when he was actually...part of him.

"Because you're a decent person. Cause you're good at arguing and no one has ever been that genuine in an argument with me? I don't have a lot but they tend to be over things like 'which burger is better' 'which babe is the hottest' that kinda thing. You might not speak your mind all the time but when you do you don't really hold back. You're brave.

Hayley, you're worth peoples time you know. Worth attention. That's why I bother, cause I like you. Bart clearly likes you as well and probably thinks something similar."

"Break guns apart?" Clarifying his abilities and what he could do was clearly the most important part of anything he had said - or maybe it was simply the easiest to respond to. Whatever the case, she allowed a brief pause for that before she tried to address the rest of what he was saying. He was the first hero she could remember who admitted that he could never completely understand the way she viewed things and that he was willing to try.

"I think sometimes the heroes forget what it's like for someone who's.. I don't know, not super powered, I guess? I don't know their reputations. Having that kind of power.." She cut off before she could express how frightening it was. It was a reminder of why she had attacked Superman in the first place. "I'm sick of being left behind or told that I can't know something for my own good, you know? I don't even get a choice half the time."

She sighed with frustration, though it wasn't Kon's fault. He and Mark had been the only ones to treat her mostly normal thus far. Barry too, she supposed, though that was different. Clark and even Bart were always trying to protect her and decide what was best for her with or without her having a say.

Kon was definitely right about her penchant for heated arguments. Few things riled Hayley, but when they did, she wasn't about to let it go.

"You call it brave, Bart calls it stubborn." She smiled at the thought. "And it's not like I think I'm worthless, but.. It's like, I've never argued with someone I was friends with before this place."

There was more to it than that, but Hayley had a difficult time articulating how she wasn't sure that friendships were worth the effort or, what scared her, that she was starting to think they were. There were few people she cared enough about to open up to - a literal few in her lifetime - and none of them included the ups and downs she had already experienced with both Bart and Kon.

Oh right, she wouldn't really know a lot about his powers beyond some of the things he'd said. And probably some of what Superman had as well. That was something he'd have to show her at some point.

"We do. I'll be straight up. I know I never even took it into consideration before I lost my powers once back home. Being on the team, I felt so useless, I used to be one of the heavy hitters and then I was...well I wasn't really Superboy anymore. And I get it, I really do. Just because you don't have super-whatever, doesn't make you weak. It shouldn't mean you get told what to do."

Kon knew that if something broke out, he would feel the need to protect her. But he'd also feel the need to protect Bart as well, so it wasn't just singling out those that had no powers. People he cared for, civilians and heroes would always get his protection.

"Maybe it's a little bit of both then. Not like it's a bad thing. I don't think arguing is always a bad thing either."

Hayley canted her head and her eyes narrowed slightly. It was as if Kon was reading her mind, telling her everything she wanted to hear, and it made her wary. Not because she thought he might actually be psychic, but because he might understand her that well. Bruce had inspired the same nervousness. Bruce was a very logically minded adult, however, where Kon was effectively a kid her age with similar identity issues and darkness.

"So what am I supposed to do? How do I get them to take me seriously?" Apparently attacking Superman wasn't enough since she had apologized for it.

Then she glanced idly at the wall, thinking. "I don't think arguing is bad, but it doesn't do a lot. And the things I care enough about to argue? Usually I'm not friends with people who disagree on them."

Kon was unaware of how he was making her feel, he'd just been speaking what came to his mind. Which he hadn't read from Hayley but just happened to be similar to what she was thinking. He hadn't been saying it in the hopes to please her in some way, it was just how he felt. He'd had adults not take him seriously, think he wasn't able to do the job. It had sucked, and that was from someone who had powers.

"You tell them. What ever way you can. You tell them you aren't some fragile kid. Heck I've got a guy on my team who has no powers at all, just training on how to kick ass and he holds his own. Make a stand. Someone tries to tell you want to do and you don't wanna, just tell 'em no."

Kon shook his head and laughed a little.

"It gets built up anger out I found. Make stuff up I guess."

Hayley crossed her arms without thinking about the gesture, frowning a little at him. He made it sound so easy with his 'you tell them.' Her frown disappeared when he mentioned someone on his team without powers though. "Wait, what? Who on your team doesn't have powers? What's he like? Is he here?"

Because that was someone she wanted to get to know. Although really, maybe he was someone with something to prove, always trying to keep up and show that he could. Hayley would rather give up both friendships right now than to spend her life trying to prove herself to others like that.

She couldn't help but smile as he laughed. "I guess we'll have to argue more often then."

Heck if he had to, he would tell them. Wasn't it kind of an insult if so many people told you to go and hide or those that stood in front of you to stop something? Kon didn't know how Hayley couldn't be screaming at them to stop. Maybe she had and he had missed it or maybe she wasn't the kind to shout about it. But he hoped that they'd let her just...be?

"Actually, a few people do. Robin doesn't. I mean he has gadgets, but he's also a pretty good fighter and uses what he has to make up for what he doesn't. We also had an archer and then there's Empress who's pretty badass. They don't have super powers and they could probably kick my ass. But Rob ain't here."

Robin had been here three times, every time had been from the same point or close to it back home. Older and in his future. Not the Robin he knew, but who he'd get to know, which was confusing.

"I got no problem with that."

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