tushanshu_logs | there will be time to murder and create; closed

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there will be time to murder and create; closed

Characters: Gene Khan, Tony Stark; Milyn, possibly, later.
Date: February 4th
Location: Midnight Hotel; later, Milyn's clinic
Situation: Time to return home and face FULL-LIFE CONSEQUENCES. But first...
Warnings/Rating: Talk of long-since-committed murder. Definite sappy gay bullshit. Probably boys yelling. I don't know?

And time for all the works and days of hands
That lift and drop a question on your plate;
Time for you and time for me,
And time yet for a hundred indecisions,
And for a hundred visions and revisions,
Before the taking of a toast and tea.

When Tony returns to their shared room, he will find all of Gene's meager belongings carefully packed into a bag - as though he's preparing to leave, or is ready for being told to leave - and Gene himself sitting at the table, the rings on their string sitting before him, his head bowed in an attitude of contemplation.

"I need to talk to you," he says, looking up when Tony enters, his voice slightly hoarse, his face carefully blank.

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Now it's Tony's turn to be startled.

"You don't have to. You don't have to... do it for me. I don't..." He frowns. He hadn't meant for this to be a punishment for Gene, though... now that Gene's said it, he can see why he'd feel that way.

He sighs. "I've wanted to to this for a while. I was coming to talk to you about it anyway. It doesn't have anything to do with... Bakura." His frown deepens. "But I need to do it. Before I can..." Figure out what to do. Figure out what this means for us. He shakes his head. "I want to know."

"I know it doesn't have anything to do with Bakura. But...being here, staying here..." Gene frowns, trying to think of how to explain it. "I'm avoiding the inevitable. As if by keeping myself here, what happens there doesn't ever happen at all. And that's...cowardly of me." He shakes his head. "I don't want to be a coward anymore. Whatever happens...I'll face it. If that means I die, or am kept a prisoner like you saw in the Dreaming...then that's what happens."

He is perhaps a bit more adamant about this now than he would normally be, but he wants to prove to Tony that he has changed, that he's different now. That he's better. And facing the responsibility he's been ducking is one surefire way to prove it.

Tony looks away again. His expression is still troubled and uncertain.

"...Okay. If you're sure."

He doesn't think he's opposed to Gene doing this too, but it's not making it any easier for Tony to figure out how he feels about Gene's confession. Is this penance he can accept? Is this the apology he's looking for?

He sighs and runs his fingers through his hair, and quietly adds, "It would... be nice not to do it alone." That much is true, at least. He's not scared, exactly - the possibilities have been festering in the back of his mind for too long for any of them to be frightening anymore - but he is jittery and a little anxious. Even if he's not sure how he feels about Gene right now, he doesn't want to be alone.

"If you want me to be there, I'll be there," Gene says simply. Tony's troubled demeanor isn't unexpected, but it is causing him a bit of anxiety of his own. It's the uncertainty, the chaos, that he's never been able to live with. And even more infuriating, he knows that pushing Tony about it one way or the other will make him come down, hard, on the verdict he doesn't want.

He is, briefly, annoyed with himself for caring so much about what Stark, of all people, thinks, but that pattern of thought is unsustainable and collapses in on itself. He's not who he was two years ago or ten months ago or even the same person he was in July. Too much had happened with him and Kalliel and Tony and Malicant in the interval.

He just has to trust that Tony knows he's not who he used to be.

"I can speak to Anton and get moved into one of the dormitories for a day or two," he says. "If you need the space." If you decide you don't want to see me again after all.

Tony doesn't say anything to Gene's first offer, but he nods, after only a slight hesitation.

To the second one, he replies, "...No. No, it's okay. I'll... Let's see what happens, first."

He's stalling, and he knows it. But his mind and his emotions are in turmoil, and he knows that if he tries to make any decisions now, he'll regret it later. Maybe things will be clearer once he's seen his future at home.

"You want to go now?" Not like Gene's particularly opposed to it, but it all seems...rather abrupt.

Then again, so must his confession have seemed, too.

"Okay," he says, making no move to pick up the rings, his stomach still twisted with anxiety. "Then let's go, and get it over with."

"Yeah. I'd like to do it now." It may seem abrupt to Gene, but Tony's been sitting on this for so long, it feels way overdue. And now that he's finally decided to do it, he doesn't want to delay. He's brooded way too much over it already.

He nods, and stands. "I'm ready if you are." As ready as he's ever going to be, anyway.

"I'm as ready as I'm ever going to be," Gene says, a bit dryly. There's nothing left for him back there, but...it would be good, to get the closure. And the blame, if the Makluans actually did kill them all.

He hopes that they won't see something that makes Tony hate him forever. He's not sure what he would do if that's how things turned out. He's bared his soul, and exposed his heart, and for a sword to spear it now would be just too much for him to bear.

He would probably do what he'd nearly done upon awakening - disappear into the hinterlands of the shell, and live or die as he would.

"Thanks," Tony says quietly. He doesn't imagine this is going to be fun for either of them - especially not for Gene. But Gene is willing to go through it with him anyway, which is... comforting? A mark in Gene's favor?

...He'll think about it on the walk there.

---

The walk to Milyn's clinic does not produce any insights or moments of clarity.

Tony is mostly silent for the duration, lost in his thoughts. Though he doesn't shy away or try to keep his distance from Gene, he doesn't reach out for him, either.

When they reach the clinic, he comes back to himself a little, and before opening he door, he turns a questioning gaze on Gene. He doesn't want to force him to do this: if Gene's changed his mind, this is a chance to back out.

The long, painfully silent walk to Milyn's clinic has done nothing to change Gene's mind. He'd have offered to teleport them, but didn't, because that is both a terrible idea, given the circumstances, and because he'd left the rings back at the hotel.

Every step had hurt him, every few feet he was seized with the urge to run back and jam them on his fingers, but...no. He'd managed to stave most of the anxiety off by saying it's something he needs to do, and that's the end of it.

He opens the door.

The bell above the door jingles with too cheerful a sound for the mood between the two visitors, but Milyn looks up from her ledger at the counter with a polite smile anyway, ready to greet. When she sees it's not kedanese clients but the two Foreigners, the smile of a proprietor evolves into one much wider. She hasn't had much call to cross paths with the Foreigners, especially since the public forum, nor they with her.

"Hello!" she greets them. "Come in, come in. How have you been? Why such the long faces, dears? Oh, but you look like you could do with some cheering up. Would you like something to drink? I have a very excellent tamal root infusion that should pick you right up."

Tony looks slightly disconcerted by Milyn's greeting. "Hi. Um. Okay, I guess."

Tony hasn't had many opportunities to interact with the kedan healer; her cheerfulness is a little overwhelming, especially right now.

"I'm... No thanks, I'm okay." He clears his throat. "...We want to see what happens to us at home."

Wow. Okay. Milyn's always been cheerful, but this is jarringly so, given their circumstances. Still - it is nice to see her.

"Though we might need that infusion later," Gene says wryly, trying to keep the atmosphere light. "Depending on how things go."

You're not funny, Gene.

As per usual, Milyn seems completely oblivious to how hypercheerful she is, or how it isn't quite meshing with the other two. But at Tony's words, she puts the pen she's holding down and comes out from behind the counter, gesturing to the corner of the shop where there's a small patio table and some chairs for them all to sit.

"You understand I cannot give you that for free," she said, her voice quieting a little.

"I know. I brought some money, I don't know if it's enough..." Tony reaches into his pocket as he walks towards the table, and pulls out a small bag of juulan. He holds it out to Milyn. "It's all my extra money. I can work the rest off, if you need help with anything at the clinic. I don't know anything about healing, but I can fix stuff, or build things for you, or clean..."

"And I can volunteer my time at the clinic, since I have some first-aid training from the hospital. And if this involves Gha'nal venom, I've been a guinea pig for almost every iteration of the serum, if my experience would help any." He's trying to avoid spending his juulan wherever possible, since neither he nor Tony are technically employed right now.

"We'll do what we have to do, to make this work."

Milyn looks distressed when Tony holds out the bag towards her and says the juulan is all he has, and she shakes her head, thinking about it for a moment without taking the money.

"I don't have anything here that needs construction," she says. "But Raine Sage, she might. I gave her the Healer's Guild, and it's in a sorry state if I do say so myself! Of course I can't help but feel just a tiny bit selfishly pleased about, they may have taught me but they were just so backward, those healers. I'm sure Raine will make it a much better place, what a nice girl that she is. Would you like to go help her, Tony? I'm certain she could put your talents to use over there."

And then to Gene, she nods. "It is Gha'nal venom," she answered. "I've been able to fully synthesize it, so the genetic version is no longer required. Honestly, those things were just awfully ill-tempered, right from the first day, and even when I tried to make them as comfortable as I did. If you wouldn't mind, there are some longer term effects I wouldn't mind having on record, I promise it won't take but a few hours, but I could really learn so much!"

It's not all his juulan, Milyn, stop looking at him like that! It's only all his disposable income. He still has enough for food!

Tony lowers his hand a little when Milyn doesn't take the bag, but doesn't put it away. He feels weird not paying anything, and he's not sure if she's refusing the cash payment outright, or just the quantity. Her request is easy enough, though. "Okay. Sure, I can help Raine out."

Gene's offer startles him and worries him just a little bit. But Gene knows what he's getting himself into, and Milyn knows what she's doing, so he doesn't say anything.

Well...the other two Foreigners who tested the Gha'nal serum's first iteration both disappeared shortly after the tests, but that's just got to be one of those wacky coincidences...

"That sounds like more than a fair trade to me," Gene says. He knows his experience is valuable, and he likes Milyn and wants to help her out.

Milyn shakes a playful finger at Tony. "And don't you think about slacking off either, I'm absolutely going to ask Raine how it went! If she's not happy with your contribution, I'll be very disappointed, and I really like all of you far too much to want to be disappointed."

It was hard to take her warning seriously however, with the fact that she was still smiling merrily at them both. Then she addressed Gene again.

"Excellent! Oh, you're really going to help me out, I promise you that. Whenever works best for you, for both of you, though you look so serious coming in here that I can't help but think you want to go through with it now. No second guessing, that's always the way to do it."

Tony is taking everything seriously right now, Milyn. But he wouldn't have slacked off anyway. Aside from working off his debt to Milyn, Tony has personal debts to Raine that he doesn't intend to neglect.

"I'm ready to do it now, if Gene is," Tony confirms. He looks over at Gene again, giving him one last chance to back out.

Gene looks coolly back at Tony, his gaze steely. As if he'd back out now. Tony must really think little of him.

"Right now," he says, answering Milyn, but still looking at Tony. "That would be best. Let's get it done."

Milyn gives a quiet, fond little sigh, like she'd known their answers before she'd asked (she had) and stands, motioning them to follow her towards the back of the apothecary. Past the main counter and down the hall, and she pushes open open the Examination room door, where there are some padded reclining chairs.

"Go ahead and make yourselves comfortable," she said, letting them get settle while she unlocked her workshop door and left it open; they would be able to see its dimmer interior, with boxes and shelves and workbenches everywhere. "I'll be just a moment across the hall here, I have to get the serum."

Tony doesn't know what to make of that cold look that Gene gives him; he breaks eye contact and looks down at the floor, not sure if he feels angry or hurt or ashamed.

He acknowledges Milyn with a wordless nod, and steps into the examination room. The padded chair squeaks and crinkles when he sits in it. He fidgets uncomfortably, which only makes the chair complain more. Clearing his throat, he forces himself to sit still, and glances over at Gene again.

"Are you doing okay?" he asks, in a quiet, neutral voice.

He wonders if maybe he shouldn't have told Gene, and just gone and done this by himself.

Gene sits down in the chair he's directed to - in contrast to Tony's fidgeting, he sits rigidly, looking at nothing.

When Tony speaks, he glances at him, still a little annoyed and hurt and worried and even angry, but he tamps it all down to answer.

"I've had better days," he admits. What he's not going to say is that the uncertainty of how Tony will decide what to do about his confession is eating him up inside, and he's not quite sure what's worse - that, or the prospect of going home. He knows he did the right thing by speaking up, delayed as it was, but God, did it need to hurt so much?

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