But I still wake up, I still see your ghost;

[youfallback]

Characters: Carolina and York
Date: Backdated to Tues or Weds
Location: York's suite, metal sector
Situation: Potentially awkward dinner with York and Carolina. Probably some small talk and serious discussions of Bad Things.
Warnings/Rating: Freelancer Things, awkward, etc. Maybe language.


[Things like having dinner shouldn't cause Carolina's stomach to twist and turn uncomfortably in her gut, but if they're short talk after her arrival had told her anything, it was that things were unbearably different between them. Conversation wasn't easy, wasn't natural, wasn't anything like it used to be. Even under the intense pressure of the Project, they'd still managed to talk as people when the job was done.

As she approaches his door, she reminds herself that it can happen again. They can re-build; they have to be able to re-build and she refuses to believe otherwise. So, she's out of her armor, her braided back and dressed in something she'd found here on the turtle, an open-collared cross garment with plain trousers and boots. Not her usual style, but she hoped it'd give the aire of her being at least mildly comfortable instead of her armor.

After a moment of hesitation, she raps as gently as she can against the door before stepping back and reminding herself to breathe.]

Comments

[agentdork]

[ He's straightened things out with Kara, gotten things all squared away, and while he feels like a goddamn asshole, he doesn't want to dare introduce them yet. No, he knows how shittily that'll go right now. They'll probably get along just fine eventually, but right now-?

He just wants to talk to Carolina and get things ironed out on their own.

He's got some sort of stir-fry cooking, and sets some aside for Kara when she comes back, a spatula in his hand when he answers the door. His whole face lights up at seeing her out of armor and he can't stop himself from reaching out, almost touching her hair a moment before he catches himself and just lets her in. ]

I-- it's uh, good to see you.

[youfallback]

[The moment the door swings open, Carolina feels some of that anxiety melt away, especially at the sight of the spatula. She offers a slight smile in return, not quite full but still a good attempt. As he reaches toward her, she tries to keep still, reminding herself that it's not a bad thing to be touched, but then he pulls his hand back. Her smile dims just slightly as she steps across the threshold.

His words still aren't easy to hear, even after a couple days of trying to settle things, but she still nods.] You too.

[Just the smell of whatever's cooking entices her to give her best effort here tonight. He really wants to have dinner, it's not a joke to him, she's not a joke to him.] Smells good.

[agentdork]

[ York steps away to let her further in, and heads for the kitchen, glancing back at her. ]

Shoes off at the little thingy by the door -- and I hey, did you have anything you don't like that'd go into stir fry?

[ Since he hasn't added everything yet and he can always take thing out. ]

[youfallback]

[Carolina nods as she pulls off her boots with some reluctance, but does so nonetheless. After all, she trusts this to not be an ambush or a trap of any kind. Once her boots are off, she'll pad over to the kitchen, finding the whole domestic thing a little, well, weird. And uncomfortable. Last time she was in someone's kitchen, it was her mother's. Years ago.]

Not in particular. [She leans lightly in the doorway, trying to go for a casual look, albeit a little forced.]

[agentdork]

[ He barely notices, honestly-- he was always pretty domestic on his own, and when he was on the run, he was, too, since there was no one else to do it.

York adds the sauce to the mix and fixes up the rice and meat, tossing all of it together, humming quietly. ]

Alright. How've you been?

[youfallback]

[Then again, Carolina reads meaning into everything. Even just a casual look would mean something in some way, likely something negative. She's surprised at how natural he seems to be in a domestic setting, complete with humming as he prepares dinner.]

Better. [She takes a breath and nods, despite the fact that York isn't looking at her.] Just. Better.

[agentdork]

[ The wok starts steaming and hissing, and York gives it a few moments before snagging a piece of meat, and offering it out to her with a little smile, a sort of peace offering. ]

That's good. Adjusting going okay?

[youfallback]

[Carolina grabs it with her fingers, nodding her thanks as she waits for it to cool long enough to eat.]

A lot better than I thought it would. Turns out being in the afterlife is a whole lot like living.

[agentdork]

[ He doesn't wait for the verdict, too busy stirring, making sure everything is all good on his end, humming still between the conversation. ]

Still not so sure I believe it, but hey, not much else to believe.

[youfallback]

[Once it's cool enough, Carolina pops the bit of meat into her mouth and starts chewing. Yeah, okay, she could definitely get used to real food instead of MREs, no matter how handy the latter are.]

About that. [Taking another breath,] I shouldn't have dropped everything on you like that as soon as I got here.

[She was stressed, she was under duress, any number of excuses come to mind, but she doesn't want to say them out loud.]

[agentdork]

[ ... Yeah, that thing he's been really good about avoiding thinking about so far. About that.

York glances over at her, and then back at the meal, tossing together the veggies. He's not sure what to say-- he wishes it wasn't dumped all on him at once, either, but what's done is done. ]

Past is past.

[youfallback]

[Carolina watches him as he turns toward her and back to the meal, nodding as a familiar guilt settles down into her gut. She just can't seem to stop screwing up, even with the Director gone. Still, there's some truth to his words. She has to let go of what she did wrong, just as much as she let go of the Director.

But, it's a hell of a lot easier to say than to do.] Yeah.

[And there goes her ability to manage small talk.]

[agentdork]

I ain't mad, boss.

[ Once it's done, he dishes her up a bowl and passes it over, and his hands linger against hers a moment more than strictly necessary. ]

You know I'm not gonna hold a grudge against you.

[youfallback]

I know you won't, York. [She feels that, she absolutely feels that lingering touch, and she flicks her gaze up at him until the moment passes. Once his hands leave hers, she heads back into the main area, glancing around for a place to sit and eat.] I know that now.

[Regret traces every one of her words and damn when did this dinner start feeling like a funeral. Maybe she's not feeling as good as she thought she was.]

[agentdork]

[ Yeah, this isn't quite how he imagined this would go. York opens his mouth to say something else and then closes it, sighing faintly as he follows her to the kitchen table. ]

Did you want a drink?

[youfallback]

No, I'm good. [Carolina settles into one of the chairs, trying to think of a way to steer the conversation in a more positive way.] I... people here seem nice.

[agentdork]

Yeah, for the most part. There's-- well. There's a helluva lot of kids.

[ Which, if they're all dead? That's depressing as shit because these kids don't deserve this, not really. ]

[youfallback]

Was talking to a couple on the console earlier. [Which had been an experience, really.] One of them said I was stalking you.

[She raises her eyebrows at him before digging into her meal.]

[agentdork]

Oh, yea--

Wait, what?

[ He starts digging in too, but stops, fork halfway to his mouth when she says that. There's a sinking feeling in his stomach-- no, dude, Kara wouldn't-- ]

[youfallback]

I'm serious. Said I was stalking you.

[She forks some meat and veggies into her mouth and just enjoying the taste of real, home-cooked food for a couple seconds.] This is really good.

[agentdork]

Who?

[ There's no way she'd do that, but who? York pokes back at his food and starts taking careful bites. ]

And thanks. 's good to cook for people.

[youfallback]

Didn't give his name. [Which, well, tells her about the nature of the kids here in tushanshu.] Neither of the kids did.

[Carolina nods as she chews, not that she'd understand what that feels like in the first place.]

[agentdork]

Hah. Well, for the record, I'm okay with you stalking me.

[ Since he knows that's not really what it is. York gives her a smile over the rim of his glass of water, and tosses his food around in his bowl with his fork, idle. ]

I-- shit. I keep trying to think of something to say but I--

[ But it's awkward and he's afraid he's going to ask something that's going to bring up unpleasant memories. York sighs, shaking his head. ]

[youfallback]

[Carolina offers a slight smile back until he speaks again and it takes every ounce of desire to fix things to keep that semi-smile in place. She understands this isn't easy and, well, the fact that he's even trying speaks volumes.]

No, it's... I'm out of practice. [Step one to trying to fix things is always admitting some kind of fault, right? That's what she'd heard at least.] You probably don't have this... [She tries to think of a better words than "problem," but after a moment of searching, it's the only word she can think of that properly explains things.] problem with anyone else.

[After all, he doesn't seem to have changed much, so the thing that's different in their dynamic is her.]

[agentdork]

Ahhh, no, don't get like that.

[ York leans forward over the table, and just looks at her, lips twisted in a faintly unhappy frown as he tries to get her to understand what he's saying. ]

You're not a problem, boss.