But I still wake up, I still see your ghost;

[youfallback]

Characters: Carolina and York
Date: Backdated to Tues or Weds
Location: York's suite, metal sector
Situation: Potentially awkward dinner with York and Carolina. Probably some small talk and serious discussions of Bad Things.
Warnings/Rating: Freelancer Things, awkward, etc. Maybe language.


[Things like having dinner shouldn't cause Carolina's stomach to twist and turn uncomfortably in her gut, but if they're short talk after her arrival had told her anything, it was that things were unbearably different between them. Conversation wasn't easy, wasn't natural, wasn't anything like it used to be. Even under the intense pressure of the Project, they'd still managed to talk as people when the job was done.

As she approaches his door, she reminds herself that it can happen again. They can re-build; they have to be able to re-build and she refuses to believe otherwise. So, she's out of her armor, her braided back and dressed in something she'd found here on the turtle, an open-collared cross garment with plain trousers and boots. Not her usual style, but she hoped it'd give the aire of her being at least mildly comfortable instead of her armor.

After a moment of hesitation, she raps as gently as she can against the door before stepping back and reminding herself to breathe.]

Comments

[agentdork]

Here? Or back home?

[ Since he's not sure what she's going back to, honestly, and that's probably the most important part. ]

[youfallback]

Woke up in the ocean here. [Which, really, had been incredibly frustrating the first couple days, but she's coming to slowly accept it. She wanted Church around to help with that, but that's just how things seem to work here.]

[agentdork]

[ York nods, glancing at the couch, touching her arm lightly to see if she wants to join him over there rather than standing around in the kitchen. ]

At least this place isn't so bad.

[youfallback]

[She nods and heads over toward the couch but not straying too far from him. After all these years, getting to touch him is probably the best thing she's had.]

Depends on the part of town. [Unfortunately, that was a little more bitter than she intended.]

[agentdork]

...yeah, it ain't all butterflies and sunshine.

[ He can't stop the wryness to his tone, either, because he knows. ]

[youfallback]

[Carolina settles down on the couch without much ado, leaning on her elbow on the back of the couch and keeping her body language open.]

It really isn't.

[agentdork]

But hey, it's not-- y'know. The bullshit back home. The Project, the near-death missions, bein' lied to.

That's a start.

[youfallback]

[She does her best to not react to that, but she's still not that good at hiding anything when she's not angry all the time. She pulls her arm down from the back of the couch and shifts her weight so her posture is a little more closed off. No one knows more than her about all the lying that went on.

Still, the Director's dead and she knows that and she should take more solace from that than she does.] He's gone. The Project's completely disbanded, wiped away. All the files, everything.

[agentdork]

[ He starts to say good and then stops, flinching. No Delta. No Theta. None of the other AI, none of the people-- because they were parts, sure, but no one could ever say Delta wasn't a person. ]

That's. Something, I guess.

[youfallback]

Yeah, it's something. [She shifts again, looking away as she thinks back to that last encounter with her father. Yeah, she still has a lot of feelings about it, but she's got company and good company. She can save thinking about her father until she's alone again.] But we're here now.

[agentdork]

It'll get better, too. What'd you wanna do after you got out?

[ Then again, he's not even sure if she ever thought about getting out. ]

[youfallback]

That wasn't ever an option. [She glances back up at him, calming herself again with just having him here. After a pause,] You?

[agentdork]

[ Yeah, he thought so. His face falls all the same and he stares her down, quiet, disappointed. ]

There's always an option. And me-- ah, hah, well, doesn't really matter now.

[youfallback]

[Frowning, she carefully reaches out to nudge his arm with her fingers.] No, I want to hear it.

[agentdork]

Boss, it ain't an option.

[ He doesn't move away-- he doesn't push her away, either, he just gives her a sheepish grin. ]

Don't stress, okay? Maybe if we're here long enough, I'll tell you about it.

[youfallback]

[Carolina frowns a little further and pulls her hand back from him.] You just said there's always an option.

[agentdork]

Yeah, but I kind of think that only counts for the living.

[ No, not bitter at all nope. ]

[youfallback]

[At that, she draws back away from him a little, feeling her internal walls go up a little. ]

Right. [After all that talk of re-building, her more-bitter, more-jaded side reminds her that York's just as capable of lying as anyone else.]

[agentdork]

I-- shit.

[ Yeah, that was the wrong thing to say. York withdraws, drags a hand over his face and tries to smile. ]

I'm sorry. That was-- wasn't how I meant for it to come out.

[youfallback]

[Carolina shakes her head, trying to smile, but it's a horrible twisted thing for a moment before she just drops it all together.]

No, don't. [She shakes her head again. Yeah, he's dead. She saw the grave herself, had the lighter, saw the journals, had wasted years of his life doing nothing but letting him think she was dead.

Only to fail in the face of Texas again. To need help from sim soldiers. No, she should have expected that telling him he was dead would drive a block between them.]

[agentdork]

No, I'm serious.

[ He can't do it either, but he tries, reaching out, gripping her shoulder tightly. ]

I never-- it just. It's taking a while. To settle in, that this is what I've got.

[youfallback]

[She should understand that it takes time to really grip that kind of thing. Hell, she should be the one reassuring him, but she just settles for keeping her walls up instead.]

It's fine, I understand. [There's a certain sincerity lacking in her response.]

[agentdork]

[ He flinches at that, because this-- Christ, even at her worst, even when she was worried over Texas and the team, this wasn't her. What the fuck happened? ][ No, he's not touching that one with a ten foot pole. ]

[youfallback]

[At that flinch, Carolina's frustration skyrockets. Goddammit, nothing's going right. Nothing's going right and she's not good enough and she won't ever be and--- anger starts to heat up her gaze, but it's not directed toward him. She's turned half away from him, trying to bite that fury back down but she's having a real hard time right now and she's tempted to just throw in the towel on the rest of the night.]

oh i accidentally a word hfjgh

[agentdork]

[ Goddamnitttttt. This isn't how he wanted things to go at all.

York drags his hand over his face, quietly frustrated and then takes two long steps toward her on the couch, settling in next to her, a hand on her shoulder. ]

We used to know how to do this.