tushanshu_logs | Event | Satellite

Event | Satellite | Crash Landing

Characters: Any and all!
Date: May 21, 2013
Location: In and around the city of Keeliai
Situation: The early morning hour brings unexpected devastation to Keeliai and the outlying areas. Emergency response and damage control follows!
Warnings/Rating: Fires, minor violence; please put CW in your subject lines

Satellite Crash Event

Crash Landing | Salvage Party | Shocking Spectres

Questions | Fire Sector | Earth Sector | Metal Sector | Water Sector | Wood Sector | Outlying Areas

The early morning hours of May 21st are broken by the sound of a low lying explosion and a veritable rain of fiery bits and bobs such as molten hot metal and space debris. Those out and about in the very early morning (three hours before dawn) see a meteoric shape streaking overhead and leaving a debris trail. Those interested in following it may find themselves distracted by the debris raining down across Tu Vishan, starting fires and damaging buildings turtlewide. Tu Vishan certainly is, for the great turtle grinds to a halt amidst all this and a trace of concern for the little ones on his shell can be felt in the minds of many.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[SHUT UP AND STOP MAKING SENSE

Mike's stubbornness sets something off and Raphael begins his not-so-slow boil back up to anger. It's not difficult; even here, at Tu Vishan's head, he can't stifle everything and Raphael's anger is constantly just beneath the surface.]

Why d'you even care?

[Uh oh. No, words, don't- just get back in his mouth, don't-]

Nobody treats you like you're part of the team, you don't even want to be part of the team- why do you keep acting like it? Nobody asked you to be here or to come find me anyway!

[Even though Mike had been expecting some kind of push back from Raph, the younger turtle's words cut him to the quick.

What's worse is that Raph isn't wrong.
They don't.
He doesn't.

Mike's weary smile falls, and when he speaks his voice is quiet.]

someone had to. might as well be me.

[It's when Mike's voice comes out like that, soft and hurt, that Raphael feels like the biggest prick to ever have existed.

What had Mike done to earn something like that? Nothing. He came to find Raphael to bring him back, probably just because he was worried. He let Raph push him around, even though he wasn't his real brother. He didn't say a word when Raphael's contact dropped off the face of the Earth as soon as his real little brother showed up. Sure, he went his own way and did his own thing, but when has that ever bothered Raphael? Hell, when has Raphael ever done anything different?

Raphael's mouth snaps shut with an audible click of teeth and he wrenches his eyes away from that expression on Mike's face. He wants to say he's sorry, but the words jam up in his throat and won't come out.

He can't say anything.]

[The silence is too heavy for Mike to shoulder, so he fills it in an effort to make it lighter]

back home raph isn't just my brother, he's my best friend. until april he was my only friend. we never had heart to heart talks, because that's not how raph works. that's not how he operates. but i knew everything about him, and he knows everything about me.

[Mike takes a deep breath, and exhales with a sigh.]

my raph blamed himself for something that wasn't entirely his fault either, and leo made him leave to cool off. when he finally came back things weren't the same between us. they still aren't and that hurts me more than anything.

so you can hate me all you want, but i'm not going to let you push mikey away the same way raph pushed me.

you're not my brother, but that doesn't mean i don't know you.

[Raph's heart-to-hearts are few and far between, but they seem to be infinitely more frequent than any other Raphael from these other two dimensions, or that's what he's picking up. Maybe it's a good thing he's more expressive about his feelings, and maybe not, because it doesn't seem to be doing him any good.

Besides, saying 'compared to the other Raphaels' he's expressive isn't really saying much.

It takes a long time for Raphael to respond, and it's not because he's not listening; he heard Mike, heard every word he said, and he might not be the most obedient but Raphael isn't a terrible listener. Not this one, anyway. Sure, he doesn't always care, or he'll brush it off or be abrasive or be cruel, but outright ignoring? Yup. You'll know when you're being outright ignored, because Raphael will tell you to your face.

So he thinks, and most of it is internal struggle. Say something, don't say something, Mike will think less of him, who cares what he thinks? Expressing weakness isn't weak, Splinter's said as much to him more times than he can count, but allowing yourself to fall prey to weakness is weak. Overcoming it is true strength, but what's overcoming it mean? Talking about it despite how much he doesn't want to, or dealing with it alone, with his own power?

Five minutes. Not a lot in the grand scheme of things, but in a conversation -in this conversation- it's as good as a decade.]

I don't- [Raphael almost stops himself, almost pulls it back in, convinced he shouldn't say anything, but something that sounds like his father urges him on.] Sometimes I don't know why I do the stuff I do.

[As the silence persists Mike becomes increasingly more and more uncomfortable.

He's said too much.
He's said the wrong thing.
He's ruined it all.

It's just like before and there's no way to mend what's been broken.

But then, just as Mike opens his mouth to fill the silence as before, his cousin does something he doesn't expect: he speaks.
And not only does he speak, but he gives voice to something Mike has silently known all along.]

i know.

[He only says this after the shock of having something to respond to at all wears off]

it's like that for my brother too. sometimes it's like something else takes over.

No- well yeah, that's happened too, but-

[Raph clenches his fists on his knees, frustrated.] I know I'm doing something dumb, but I do it anyway because- because I'm so angry or- or because I just want to-!

[But he's not messed up, all right, he's fucking not. He's an angry guy and he's got a goddamn right to be, and Splinter might have warned him against it but he was just talking about keeping cool during battle so the enemy can't use his anger against him. It has no bearing in his day-to-day life.

Right?]

[Mike sees Raph's fists clench in his peripheral vision, and so he turns slightly in order to keep those hands in better view. It's not always easy to tell what Raph's going to do by looking at his eyes, but keep watch of his hands and you can always stay one punch ahead.]

I'm not here to judge, Raph. You don't have to defend yourself to me.

[Something in the air between them shifts and Raphael looks over at Mike, who...looks like he's gearing up a "fight-or-flight" response. Why?

He follows Mike's eyes down to his clenched fists and slowly, with effort, unclenches them.]

...what'd your Raphael do to make your Leo chase him out?

[Mike's posture shifts again. He shouldn't be talking about this. It's not right. It's like talking about Raph behind his back, and Mike always swore he wouldn't do that. Raph has enough problems, Mike shouldn't be adding himself to that list.]

It wasn't his fault. It was mine. I shouldn't have pushed him like I did. I should have known better. I do no better. It won't happen again.

Dude, [Raph says, his voice a little choked. He's getting this horrible, dark, ugly feeling that whatever happened between this Mike and his Raphael, it was bad and violent and scarring. Scarring in a way that Raphael hasn't experienced yet, not really, not entirely.]

[And now the spin.]

It's okay, really. Everything's fine.

Everything is the opposite of okay and fine, Mike. [Like, the polar opposite. The only way it could get more opposite is if someone he cared about had died tonight, and considering that nearly happened, Raphael isn't going to entertain the possibility any longer than he has to.]

What'd he do?

Nothing!

[If Raph thought he saw Mike uncomfortable before, he hasn't seen anything yet.]

I'm fine, can we just...can we just drop this.

No, we can't drop this. [Raphael can be pretty bullheaded, and so what if Mike and his Raph don't talk about shit? When things bother Raphael, really bother him, he talks about them. To Spike, to himself, sometimes to Leo; whoever's available and whoever Raph wants to talk to.] It you're gonna come out here and tell me you won't let me and Mikey turn into your Raph and you, you're gonna have to tell me what he did so I don't do it. Got that?

[Bullheaded Mike is used to, especially since he can be pretty darn stubborn himself when push comes to shove. But...he can't deny that Wee Fightin' Raph here is right. And boy does that frustrate him to no end.

And the more Mike thinks about that, the more frustrated he gets, until finally he very nearly shouts...]

He came at me with a pipe wrench, okay?!

[The rest of the story just...comes tumbling out almost all at once.]

We were sparring in April's basement and I pushed him too far, so he grabbed the first thing he could find and tried to clobber me with it. Leo had to break us up.

[At first Raphael doesn't get what the big deal is. They've come at each other with weapons lots of times; he's chased Mikey through the lair with more things in his hand than he can count, but then he really thinks about it.

Would Mike be so bothered by it if it was something as innocuous as that?

Another thing occurs to Raphael and it makes his blood run cold. In those dark moments, when his vision goes red and he wakes up moments later with fresh bruises on his knuckles, what if that's what happened? What if that Raphael had blacked out and woke up with a pipe wrench in his hand?

What if Raphael ended up doing that to his Mikey?]

Did he...did he say he was sorry? [What a stupid question.]

He didn't really get the chance. By the time he came back to himself Leo was already ripping into him. And when he finally came back he didn't even come to see me like he usually does after going out. The next morning it was like nothing had happened, but...something changed.

[There's a long pause where Mike takes a long breath, holds it, and then slowly exhales. When he does start talking again his voice is quieter. Like Raph could come in at any second and catch Mike telling stories out of school.]

It's not like I'd never seen him like that before. It's that...he'd never done that with me, you know? I'd never been the target. His eyes, it was like no one was home. Somewhere after I flipped him, Raph just shut down and something else came out. Something dangerous.

[Jesus Christ.

Raphael doesn't know what it looks like when he goes on a rampage, really gets into a fight. He knows that sometimes his brothers look at him like he's a stampeding bull, but that's never bothered him before. He's always been in control before; even those moments where he snaps out, briefly, he always comes back seconds later in relatively the same place, doing the same thing he'd been doing when he last blinked.

Blacking out and waking up over Mikey with a-a pipe wrench in his hand- that's unthinkable.]

I wouldn't-

[-do that. But he would. Apparently, another version of him did.]

Look, I- I'm- I dunno what happened with that- other me, but he didn't mean it, all right?

[Mike laughs softly. Not a lot, just one chuckle that could easily be confused for another sigh by someone who doesn't know him well. Though, even if one did miss it, it's kind of hard to miss the small smile he's sporting.]

Raph, I know. I knew it the moment it happened. It's not me that needs telling, it's him. No one wants to talk about it, so I can't even apologize properly.

[Because at the end of the day Mike still sees this as his fault. And Raph probably still sees it as his.]

[Uh huh.]

If you're so cool with it, how come I had to drag it out of you?

[Mike's smile freezes.
He's not cool with what happened. Raph has always been reckless, always been slightly unhinged by comparison to his brothers, but up until that night he'd never been dangerous. Not to his family. Not to Mike. But now? Now that line can't be uncrossed.

Mike will always defend Raph, and there was no question that he'd ever hold this against his brother, but...the seed of doubt has been planted.]

It's family stuff. April doesn't even know.

[Raphael searches Mike's face for a while. He doesn't know what he's looking for, but he finds something he doesn't want to see and ends up turning away.]

Yeah. I get it.

[You don't even want to be a part of this team.

Mike's got his own family problems, after all. And that thought sets him a little at ease, too; he's not that Raphael. He's not the other Raphael here, either.]

[When he feels Raph look away, Mike hazards a look in the other turtle's direction.]

I'm not ashamed of him, if that's what you're thinking. It's just...it's Raph's business, and well...he'd probably kill me if he knew I was talking about him behind his back.

[Why yes, he did choose those words specifically, and yes he is smirking should Raph turn back to see if he's serious.]

Yeah, he probably would.

[It's fine, Raph picked up that 'kill me' didn't literally mean 'kill me.' He'd feel the same if Mikey was airing his dirty laundry all over the place too. ...and has gone after him with a very dangerous wooden spoon for doing just that.]

Event | Satellite | Crash Landing

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